


Mind The Gap

by rentasofa



Series: Going Underground [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Brief thoughts of suicide, Complete, F/M, Family Issues, Fluff and Humor, Grief/Mourning, Happy Ending, Little bit of angst, Mild Sexual Content, Minor Character Death, Modern Era, Reylo babies, Slice of Life, Unplanned Pregnancy, mention of miscarriage, sex references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:28:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 85,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22972510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rentasofa/pseuds/rentasofa
Summary: Ben Solo had just been going through life, not really living it.He went to work, helped his friends with their children, tried to grow beyond his parents shadow, but at the end of the day, he would always end up back at his apartment alone. It seemed that would continue indefinitely, until one day when he was travelling home from work and a pretty girl with a strange hairstyle decided to brake the golden rule of travelling on the Coruscant Underground and started talking to him.As promised, Ben's point of view of the events of Going Underground.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo
Series: Going Underground [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1650871
Comments: 73
Kudos: 149





	1. October

**Author's Note:**

> Like most people it seems, I have been working through my feeling towards TROS with fan fiction.  
> In my last story, Going Underground, I promised to do Ben's pov, so here it is. I've tried to make this it's own story and for the parts that over lap to not just be a repeat of what I wrote before, so hopefully when they are read together, you get the full story.  
> I'll be updating every Sunday and I hope you enjoy.

He knew her by sight. He had seen her on quite a few journeys over the past month. He had caught her staring at him more than once and now she was talking to him.

Ben looked around at his fellow commuters to see if they were seeing this too, but as always they were too absorbed by what was on their phones to notice. He wished he had the sense to do the same but he couldn’t just ignore her, this Rey. She was beside him, pushed right up against him.

“Why are you talking to me?” he said at last.

“Well I’m in a good mood and I’m fed up of being surrounded by strangers and wanted to make a friend.” she said with a kind, pretty smile.

“And you chose me because?...”

“I see you a lot and what’s the point of a friend you never see?” He looked at her sceptically. They had to move to let people on and off but he could see that she thought he was backing away from her.

“I’m not a stalker.” Rey blurted out. “I just know that you work somewhere near where I do and have the same hours as me.” Then she mumbled something he couldn’t hear over the screeching of the tracks. 

“Do you ever feel lonely even though you’re surrounded by people?” she asked more earnestly.

Of course he did. Ben knew exactly what she meant but he was terrible with people and had built a hard shell around himself to avoid getting hurt. Rey had denied being a stalker, and he believed her, but he couldn’t be too careful. Sometimes he wished he could be part of a normal family, that he wasn’t the son of an actor and a princess. Things would be a lot simpler and he was sure he would have been a lot happier growing up.

But this girl seemed genuine enough and people were always telling him to put himself out there more and make friends his own age, though she did seem quite a bit younger than him.

Ben sighed. “Fine. If you’re that desperate to make a friend that you chose me, I’ll allow you to ask me one question a day. You’ll soon get bored.”

“Fine.” Rey said accepting his challenge. “What’s your name?”

“Ben.” There was no need for him to tell her he was a Solo, that would lead to too many questions he didn’t want to answer.

“So Ben, where do you -” she started to ask but he cut her off.

“Ah ah ah. One question Rey.” He tried to hide his smile as the train came to a stop at his station. This was going to be fun, she was either going to end up hating him or she would keep persisting until they got somewhere.

***

Ben had just finished the washing up when he got a phone call from his Uncle Chewie. He generally hated getting phone calls outside of work as it was his time to be alone, but he would always make time for Chewie. He had been there for him when almost everyone else wasn’t.

“Hey Uncle Chewie. How are you?”

“I’m good my boy.” Chewie’s voice was deep and gruff thanks to years of heavy smoking and his time with the heavy metal band Wookie Collective. He had given them both up for a more peaceful and natural life in wildlife conservation, specifically porgs.

“I’ve been asked to do all this press for Porg Island and I was wondering if you’d like to do it with me.” Chewie said.

Porg Island was the name of the children’s television show they had been working on to help teach children about the endangered species, the environment, family and friendship, just in a cute way to make it appealing. After two years of hard work, it was finally ready and would be released at the end of the month.

“No it’s Ok Uncle Chewie.” Ben said. “You’re the big name draw here, I’m no one.”

“But it was your idea,” Chewie argued. “You funded a large part of it and you’re the son of -”

“Yes I am the son of, but until I can be known as myself rather than the son of, I’d prefer to stay in the background, thank you.”

“Very well.” Chewie conceded. “Should I mention your involvement at all?”

“Just be vague. You can take most of the credit. We are trying to save your porgs after all.”

“Thank you Ben. Some of the merchandise is on its way to you, just so you know.”

“And I know just who to give it to.”

***

Ben had been aware that Rey was following him as soon as he got underground. He thought it was strange that he could sense her but decided not to think about that too much. She was the one who had sorted him out so he would let her come to him if she wanted to.

To his surprise she did and she was making the extra effort to shuffle her way through the carriage towards him. He tried his hardest not to roll his eyes.

“So Ben, where do you work?” she asked with a forced smile, she must have seen his reaction.

“First Order Financial.”

“Ok, I work at Resistance Business Solutions, see.” She held up her bright orange lanyard. He wondered how he had missed that before now.

And of course she had to work for that company. Why couldn’t she have worked somewhere that didn’t have a connection to him or his family?

***

“What do you do at First Order Financial?” Rey asked the next day. He had almost jumped when he looked down and found her standing next to him, like she had appeared out of nowhere.

“Accounts.” he said. It wasn’t strictly true, it was where he had started but he had risen up pretty high and he just didn’t feel comfortable telling people just how high.

“I’m a data analyst, at least I’m training to be. How long have you -”

Ben cut her off by raising his index finger signalling the one question limit.

***

“As I was saying yesterday, how long have you been working there?” Ben couldn’t believe it, for the fourth day in a row Rey was standing next to him on the train asking him, in his opinion, really boring questions.

“Six years.”

“I’ve just been there a month. Do you like your job?”

Ben slowly turned his head to face her properly, knowing that she would know what he was about to say.

“I know, I know one question.” She sighed and stood there with a cute little pout on her face for the rest of the journey.

***

Friday night saw no sign of Rey and Ben couldn’t work out if he felt relieved or disappointed, but he would take talking to Rey over a conversation with his mother any day. She had called him after dinner.

“Hello Ben,”

“Hello Mother,” he said settling into his sofa so he could at least be comfortable while ignoring whatever she had to say.

“I’ve had an interview request from Alderaan Life magazine.”

“That’s nice Mother.” Alderaan Life was a premium lifestyle magazine from his home country, and it took particular interest in his mother Leia as she would have been head of state if they hadn’t abolished the monarchy. It was no surprise to him that they wanted to do yet another interview with her.

“The interview request was for you.” Leia said.

“What?” Ben sat up. “Why would they want to interview me?”

“Because you’re my son and you’re turning thirty and they want to commemorate the occasion.”

“There’s nothing special about turning thirty.”

“You get full control of your trust fund. You won’t have to come to me or the trustees again if you want any money.”

The trust fund had been set up when he was born, the sole heir to four family fortunes. By having it it technically meant that he didn’t have to work but nothing good happened when he didn’t have anything to do. He had only really accessed it twice. Once so he could buy his apartment and the second time so he could help Chewie finance Porg Island.

“Yeah, I’m not doing it.” Ben said.

“Why not?”

“Because it’ll just turn into some eligible bachelor bullshit and I can’t be bothered with that.”

“First of all, language.” Leia scolded. “Secondly, you do have some public responsibility to -”

“No I don’t. I live and work in Coruscant. I would if you were Queen or whatever but you’re not, so I don’t want to do it. Why don’t you do it instead? Tell them how you were in labour for three days and the damage I did to your body, I bet they’ll love that.”

“Ben.” Leia said sternly.

“Bye Mother.” Ben hung up and lay back down.

Stupid people of Alderaan. Why did they have to abolish the monarchy but still be really interested in them? It made no sense.

At least they mainly left him alone in Coruscant to live his normal, boring, predictable, lonely life.

***

The Porg Island merchandise arrived at the weekend and it was a lot more than Ben was expecting. He had planned on giving it all to his Godchildren but he wasn’t sure their parents would appreciate him giving them a whole load of new toys all at once. Maybe he’d save some for Christmas.

He picked out a plushie of the three main characters; Percy, Penny and Pip, to give to his Godchildren; Bertie, Alice and Alfie. They were partially the inspiration for the series and he was going to tell them about it and give them a sneak preview.

Ben had been friends with Hux and Gwen for years before they got married and had kids so naturally Ben became their Godfather and they saw each other regularly. They were pretty much his only friends.

“Uncle Ben!” Bertie and Alice cheered in their high pitched voices when he got there.

“Hi guys.” He knelt on the floor so they could give him a hug. They were five and three so were still small, but they were going to be tall if their parents were anything to go by.

“Did you bring presents?” Alice asked noticing the bag he had brought with him.

“Only if you’ve been good.” Ben said shooting a glance at Bertie who frowned and crossed his arms, he knew he hadn’t been good.

Usually such a well behaved boy, he had been having some problems since he’d moved up a year at school. “I don’t like Ms Tano. I want Mr Bridger back.” he said.

“I know you do.” Ben said. “But we’ve talked about this. Mr Bridger teaches the small children but you’re a big boy now so you have to go to Ms Tano’s class.”

Bertie nodded.

“Ok then. I do have something to show you, so let’s go into the sitting room.”

“Is everything alright with Bertie?” Ben whispered to Gwen as the children ran on ahead.

“They didn’t call me in this week, so I think we’re getting somewhere but we’ll see.” she whispered back, then glanced at the bag he’d brought. “How much did you bring?”

Ben looked at the bag as well, he didn’t think it was that big. “They’re getting the rest for Christmas.”

Gwen rolled her eyes and Ben smiled. What else was a rich childless uncle to do except spoil the children?

Six month old Alfie was laying on his playmat trying to catch the various things dangling from the mobile floating above him.

Ben sat on the black leather sofa and took the plushies out of the bag. That immediately got Alice’s attention especially because they were porgs. She always liked seeing them at the zoo.

“Ok Bertie, this one’s for you. His name is Percy.” He handed him the porg with the orange feathers. “Alice, this is Penny.” Alice got the one with a little bow holding up a turf of hair, leaving Ben with a fluff ball. “And this is Pip. It would be for Alfie but he’s busy right now.”

“Why couldn’t we name them?” asked Alice.

“Because these three are characters in a new TV show that comes out next week in time for half term.”

“What show?”

“It’s called Porg Island and it’s all about Percy and Penny’s adventures.” Ben said. “Do you notice anything about the toys I’ve given you?”

“There’s three of them?” Bertie said.

“Just like us!” said Alice.

“That’s right and Percy, Penny and Pip are brothers and sister too.”

“Uncle Ben, are we porgs?” asked Bertie.

“In a way.” Ben said. “I helped make the show and I based some of the characters on you guys.”

“You made us a TV show!?”

“Yes but it’s for everyone, not just you. Although I do have an episode for you to watch early if you’d like.”

They cheered and scrambled onto the sofa so they could watch. They loved it.

“That was really sweet.” Gwen said later when the grown ups were on their own having coffee, apart from Alfie who was having his bottle.

“I still don’t like the fact that you’ve turned me into a stubby little bird.” grumbled Hux. “And why is Daddy Porg so grumpy? Am I that grumpy?”

“Yes.” Gwen and Ben said together, then she added. “But you make a cute little grumpy bird.”

Ben turned to look out the window while they made lovey faces at each other.

“Anyway Ben.” Hux said when they were finished. “Did you put yourself in the show?”

“Yep.” Ben smiled into his coffee mug. He was something more awesome than a porg.

***

“What’s your favourite colour?” Rey asked when she’d once again found a spot next to him on the train. Ben was glad her question was not about work.

“Red.” he said.

“Red?” she repeated. He knew she would be surprised. After all, she had only ever seen him wear black.

“Yes. Red.”

***

“What’s your favourite food?” Rey asked the next day. Really, he thought, how do we keep bumping into each other?

“Cereal.” he said sticking to his usual short answer.

“Oh come on. That is such a broad statement.” she exclaimed. “I mean do you like the boring multigrain kind or the brightly coloured, covered in sugar stuff that children have? Do you have milk, no milk, what type of milk? Do you put fruit on it or a boat load of sugar? You’ve got to give me something.”

Several people had turned around to stare at Rey while she ranted about cereal.

Ben got off the train smirking, enjoying that fact he had broken her.

***

“What’s your favourite place in Coruscant? Where should I go this weekend?” Rey asked.

“That’s two questions.” Ben said. He was honestly surprised she was still talking to him after her cereal rant.

“They’re the same question.” Rey argued back.

“No they’re not. My answer for one would not be an appropriate answer to the other.” 

His favourite place was his bed and she’d probably punch him if he said that, she looked like the type.

“Natural History Museum's cool I guess. They have dinosaurs.” He always liked going there with Bertie, it was nice watching the kid have fun.

“See that wasn’t so difficult. We’ve almost had a conversation.”

“Don’t get used to it. I’ll be back to being a dick next time.” he said trying to hide a smile.

“Your words not mine.” Ben heard Rey mutter.

***

Ben took Alice and Bertie to the zoo at the weekend to give their parents some respite. It was very busy. Not only was it the weekend but it was also the start of the half term holidays.

Ben thought maybe he should have warned Rey about the crowds and children if she was actually going to follow his suggestion and go to the museum. He wondered if she would.

The trip was a moderate success, the only real thing that went wrong was Alice throwing a tantrum when they were about to get ice cream. Ben couldn’t work out why she had done that, usually you’d expect it to be the other way around, and they ended up leaving without any ice cream. The girl on the stand looked just as mortified as he was.

Alice calmed down again once he got her a new porg toy. Bertie got a snake.

***

“So what did you do at the weekend?” Rey asked when she saw him on Monday, because of course she did. She was becoming a constant feature of his evening commute.

“Went to the zoo.” Ben replied.

“That it? A five year old could give me a better answer.” she said when he wasn’t forthcoming with any details.

Ben could help but smirk as she turned around in a huff. It was fun to tease her. But she was right, a five year old could give a better answer, Bertie could give a better answer. He was very friendly with people, apart from Ms Tano, and could talk to anyone. He would probably like Rey.

***

“What’s your favourite sport?” Rey asked but Ben could tell she was clutching at straws, not knowing what to ask him.

“Fencing.” he said. He hadn’t done it in a long time but he was pretty good at it when he was at school. It had piqued Rey’s interest at least.

“See that’s quite an interesting answer. Shame we can’t talk about it some more.” she said.

Jokes on her, thought Ben, reverse psychology doesn’t work on me.

“Yes, such a shame.” he said and pretended to look at his phone.

“Damn you.” Rey grumbled and he couldn’t help but chuckle.

***

Ben was sat in his office getting on with his work when his assistant Mitaka, called through to say he had a visitor.

“Mr Windrider to see you sir.” the mousy young man said over the intercom.

“Who?” The name sounded familiar but Ben could place it.

“Nash Windrider, Alderaan Life magazine.” A tall and elegant man with long hair in the Alderaanian style, announced himself theatrically as he came into the room before Ben could ask him to come in.

“What are you doing here? I declined the interview.” Ben said as Nash sat himself down on a chair on the other side of the desk, again without being invited to.

“I know but I’m here to see if I can change your mind. It’s cutting it close but there’s just enough time to get it out in time for your birthday.”

“No.”

“Come on Ben, can I call you Ben?” Nash asked, all charm.

“No.”

Nash continued unfazed. “But our readers want to know about you Solo. You’re the son of Princess Leia and the actor Han Solo, the most eligible bachelor in Alderaan.”

Ben pointed his finger at Nash just like his father was known to do when he was angry. “See what you said there are all the reasons why I don’t want to do it.”

“Then what would you make it about? What have you done that would interest my readers?”

Ben just stared at him stoney faced. The only thing he had done recently was Porg Island and he was letting Chewie have all the credit. They had done it for the porgs after all.

“I’m not doing it.” Ben said again.

“Wait, what about a financial incentive?” Nash said desperately.

“I don’t need your money.” Ben pushed the button that would call security to his office. “Now get out.”

He grabbed Nash roughly by the arm and dragged him outside just as the security guard arrived.

“Windrider, this is Gregor.” Ben saw him swallow nervously as he took in the size of the man. “He may be big but he’d be the one holding you while I punched you in your perfect teeth.”

He passed the reporter over to Gregor. “Get him out of here.”

Then he turned to Mitaka who was cowering behind his desk. “Don’t ever put anyone in my calendar without telling me first.”

“Yes sir.” his assistant said meekly.

That night he got a rather angry phone call from his mother.

“Ben Solo. What did you do?”

***

“Cats or dogs?” Rey asked. Short and sweet if not a bit random, he liked it.

“Dogs.” he said. It was an easy answer.

“Cool.” she said and went back to looking at her phone. Then she started moving away from him. He stared after her in confusion.

That was it? No follow up questions, no rant, no backstory. It didn’t feel right. He almost called her back so they could do what they normally did, but then he saw that Rey was smiling. It could have been because of whatever was on her phone but he decided to imagine it was because she was teasing him.

***

Ben had just finished his Saturday morning workout when his phone rang. He preferred working out at the weekend as he could take his time and not have to think about rushing out to go to work.

“Hi Ben,” It was Gwen. “Could you help me with the kids today? Armie’s thrown his back out again and I need to get them out of the house for a bit.”

“Sure I -”

“Mummy can we go on the train? I want to go on the train.” Ben could hear Bertie in the background.

“No I’m not taking the three of you on the train.” Gwen said moving away from the phone.

“Please? Please, please, please?”

She sighed. “Fine.” then she got back on the phone properly. “Can you meet us in Celebration Park by the cafe in like an hour?”

“Sure you don’t want me to come over and help?” Ben asked.

“No I think we’ll be fine.” Alfie started crying in the background. “Alice leave your brother alone.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” she said begrudgingly and hung up.

Looked like he would be going out today after all.

Ben got to the park well before the others which he didn’t really mind as it was a beautiful day. The sun shining on the red and gold leaves in the trees was a brilliant contrast to the bright blue sky.

All around him people were out having fun and making the most of the good weather. It was just about warm enough for him to be out without a coat. His thick red and black flannel shirt was doing a fine job, but he’d have to dig out his big winter coat before too long.

“Uncle Ben!” he heard Bertie and Alice cry as they ran towards him. It had taken them longer than an hour, Gwen was good at corralling her children but not that good.

“Hey guys.” he said, happy to see them, as they ran circles around him. To stop himself and them from getting dizzy, Ben scooped up Alice and easily lifted her up onto his shoulders and she squealed with delight.

“How come you don’t do that to me anymore?” asked Bertie.

“Because you’re getting too big.” Bertie looked a bit sad. “Don’t worry. Alice will be too big soon enough then it’s Alfie’s turn to ride on my shoulders. Ow! Alice don’t pull my hair.”

“Sorry.” she said from above him.

“Come on, let’s go back to Mummy.” Ben held onto Alice’s foot to keep her balanced with one hand and held Bertie’s hand with the other, as they made their way over to the bench where Gwen and baby Alfie were waiting for them. All the while Ben had a feeling that he was being watched.

***

On the way home from work on Monday, something very strange happened. It wasn’t that he found himself standing next to Rey yet again, he had come to terms that that was his normal now, but it was because she hadn’t asked him anything yet or even acknowledged that he was there. He didn’t like it.

He may not have acted like it but he liked talking to her. It was nice to talk to someone new after only interacting with the same few people for so long.

No he didn’t like this at all, so he was going to have to step up for once.

“You’re being awfully quiet this evening.” he said. He could see she was a bit surprised that he had said something to her without being prompted. He could also see that she was debating something with herself, trying to figure out what to say.

“I saw you with your family at the park on Saturday.” Rey said at last.

“My family?” Ben said confused. He hadn’t seen Han and Leia in weeks and there was no way she’d know they were his family.

“Yes I wasn’t following you or anything. It’s just you were there and I was there.” She shrugged not really looking at him while she talked. “I mean your kids looked cute and your wife looked nice and you looked really happy together.”

“Wife? I’m not married.” he said and it dawned on him what she was on about.

“Of course you don’t have to be married to have children, I know that.”

“And those weren’t my children.”

“Oh. Then whose are they?”

“Bertie, Alice and Alfie, who was in the pram, are my Godchildren. They’re my best friend Hux’s children. He’s where they get their red hair from. That was their mother though, Gwen.”

“Oh.” Rey smiled and breathed a sigh of relief. “I don’t know why I jumped straight to them being your children.”

It wasn’t the first time he had been mistaken for their father, or Gwen’s husband, or even Hux’s partner.

“I mean,” Rey continued. “I wouldn’t have thought any child of yours would have such red hair.”

That amused him she was right of course but it was still amusing that she was thinking about it.

“Not that I’ve thought about what your children would look like.” she said hurriedly. “I mean this is awkward, I’m awkward. Should we just go back to one word answers?”

“Definitely.”

***

“What’s your favourite film?” Rey asked the next time they saw each other.

“The.” Ben said trying oh so hard to hide his smile.

“‘The’? There’s no film called ‘The’.” she said. Ben pressed his lips together really trying not to laugh, waiting to see if she understood what he was doing.

“You think you’re so funny don’t you?” she said when she realised he was taking their previous conversation literally.

“A little bit yes.”

“Whatever. My favourite film series, because I can’t choose, is Space Wars.”

Ben rolled his eyes. Of course she would like Space Wars. Everyone loved Space Wars it seemed, apart from him.

“What was that for?” Rey had caught him.

“I’m going to need a lot more than one word to explain my feelings about Space Wars.”

“I’m not stopping you.” Rey said and it almost sounded to him like she actually wanted to hear what he had to say.

The train pulled into his station. “Another time. Way, way, way down the road.”

As Ben stood in the crowded lift that took him from the platform to the ticket hall, he wondered why he had said that. Did he actually want to tell Rey the truth or did he just want to keep talking to her?

***

“Are you sure it’s ok for me to be here?” Ben asked Hux.

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Hux said as they walked out the tube station. It was dark and drizzling, not the best type of weather to be out in. “It’s not like you’re walking into a random primary school uninvited.”

After listening to the concerns of the parents, Bertie’s primary school was hosting a Halloween party where the children could dress up and have a fun and safe evening.

Some of the teachers and members of the PTA were sitting behind the facades of houses in the school hall and out into the playground handing out treats to the children and there were some games and a hot food truck.

Ben thought it was a very good idea.

Gwen had somehow ended up on the PTA. She said that it was something to do after having Alfie but she didn’t really enjoy it. She used to work at a veterans charity and was looking forward to going back once Alfie could start nursery. That meant she was sat in one of the little houses handing out fruit gummies. All three of the children were with her but Alice and Bertie were getting restless as they had been made to wait for their dad before they could go trick or treating.

They cheered when Ben and Hux finally found them.

“Look at my little pumpkins.” Hux said proudly looking at his children. Gwen had decided to dress all three of them as pumpkins as it suited their hair and they looked really cute altogether.

“Have fun and don’t let them eat anything.” Gwen said the last part aimed at Hux and Ben. The children moaned. “Don’t give me that, you’re staying up past your bedtime as it is, I don’t want you all hyped up as well.”

“Uncle Ben.” Bertie asked. “What would you dress as?”

“I am dressed up.” Ben said. “I am the scariest thing, your future as a nine to five office worker.”

That got a chuckle out of Hux but Bertie didn’t get it.

“Alright I’d be the invisible man.”

“But if you were invisibubble, how would we know you were there?”

“Exactly.” Ben said confusing Bertie even more. Ben smiled. He was a sweet kid but he knew it was all a ploy to distract him while Alice sneakily ate some sweets. She would do the same in a bit so Bertie could have some sweets as well, and Ben wasn’t going to stop them.

They stopped a while at the booth where Mr Bridger, Bertie’s favourite teacher, was dressed as a pirate while Bertie talked animatedly about nothing in particular, he was just happy to see Mr Bridger again.

Bertie tried to make them walk straight past where Ms Tano was but Alice wanted all the sweets.

“Good evening Bertie.” she said cheerfully but he just grumbled in response.

“Come on Bertie. I thought you were doing better now.” Hux told his son.

“He is.” Ms Tano said. “He’s done some really good work in the last couple of weeks.”

“Trick or treat.” Alice said to Ms Tano to get some attention on her.

“Yes of course. You must be Alice.” Ms Tano said putting some sherbet lemons into her bag. “And you must be Uncle Ben. So nice to put a face to the drawing.”

“I’m sorry?” Ben laughed because that sounded ridiculous.

“Here.” She gave him a piece of Bertie’s class work all about their trip to the zoo, complete with a picture. There was no mistaking that the lanky over stretched figure completely in black was him.

“Some of the other children thought he was drawing some sort of bogeyman.”

“I can see that,” Ben said lightly. The picture was a bit scary. Maybe he should wear a bit more colour.

Some more people had turned up at the booth behind them so it was time to move on.

“Well it was nice to meet you.” Ms Tano said. “Alice, what’s wrong. Why are you scowling?”

Alice said nothing and lifted her arms up to Ben, gesturing for him to pick her up.


	2. November

It was a nice quiet day at work for Ben. He’d had a couple of early morning meetings, but now that they were done he had time to catch up on the huge stack of reports that he had to read.

As he made his way back from the conference room to his office, he saw that instead of standing to attention awaiting instructions, his assistant Mitaka had headphones in, totally engrossed in watching something on his computer.

He noticed too late that Ben was approaching and had to hastily close the video and jump to his feet.

“What were you watching Mitaka?” Ben asked sternly.

“Nothing sir,” his assistant stammered. The bit of sweat forming on his brow giving away the fact that he was watching something he shouldn’t have been.

“What were you watching?” Ben asked again.

“Just a movie trailer sir.”

“Just a movie trailer. Do you really not have enough work to do that you have time to movie trailers?”

“No sir. Sorry sir. It’s just it’s the trailer for the new Space Wars movie and I didn’t think -”

Ben couldn’t be bothered to listen to anymore of the excuse and just went into his office and slammed the door.

Stupid Space Wars. Why did it always seem to follow him around? He really wished that the first film hadn’t been a success, just another film lost to time. Then his father would have actually been around while he was growing up.

“Hey you never know,” Hux said when he wandered into his office eating apple slices. “You might actually like this one considering Han’s not in it.”

Ben was in a grumpy mood for the rest of the day. He was kind of looking forward to seeing whether or not he would bump into Rey on the way home. Her random questioning was turning out to be the bright spots of the days when he saw her. Though she had already mentioned that she was a fan of Space Wars so he didn’t have any high hopes for today.

“Hi,” she said a little too loudly. Rey’s manic smile was kind of off putting and it confirmed to him that she had seen the trailer.

“Hey, you seem … happy.”

“Yes. I’m just excited by the new Space Wars trailer. But I know you don’t like it, and as I can’t think of anything else to talk about, I’m just going to go back over there. Bye bye.”

That was quite considerate of her all things considered.

***

“Ok, I’ve calmed down now.” Rey said when she found him the next day.

Good, thought Ben. It was hard enough to put up with hyperactive children let alone a full grown woman. He really didn’t think he could cope with Rey for very long if she was in the same mood as she was yesterday, especially because she was excited about Space Wars. Just saying the title made him want to gag.

“If you were going on holiday tomorrow, where would you go?” she asked.

Ben thought for a moment. It was actually a very good question and made him realise he hadn’t been on holiday for a very long time. It wasn’t like he didn’t have the means to, he just didn’t feel like going somewhere strange and new all on his own. It would be better if he had someone to go with.

“I think I’d probably go to Naboo.” It was where his grandmother was from and he had spent a couple of summers in the lake country there with his extended family as a child. He hadn’t seen any of them in years.

“Sounds nice,” said Rey. “I think I’d go to Scarif. The beaches and the sea look so clear and warm.”

Ben hummed in approval of her suggestion. Scarif did look nice and he thought the tropical, sunny environment would suit her complexion. 

***

The morning had been a disaster. Not for Ben but for the graduate they had taken on over the summer who he had made cry. He didn’t feel too bad about it. If someone couldn’t take a bit of criticism and a healthy dose of reality, then maybe they weren’t suited to work for him and First Order Financial.

Ben and Hux were still talking about it when they went out to get lunch. They could have gotten their assistants to get it for them, but Ben wanted some fresh air. They went to a sandwich shop down the road that did a good meal deal.

“I don’t understand how their presentation could so utterly miss the mark.” Hux said as they joined the queue to pay.

“Sometimes I think that Bertie could do a better job.” Ben said.

“Not Alfie?”

“That seems like too much of an insult,”

“When has that ever stopped you?”

The line was long as usual but the staff were keeping it moving. With the lull in conversation with his friend, Ben noticed the very familiar hairstyle of the woman in front of him. It couldn’t be, but it was. Rey was stood in the queue waiting to buy her own meal deal. She briefly turned to face him, they shared a smile and a nod and then she turned back around.

It was brief but Hux had noticed it. “Do you know her?” he said quietly but he was sure it was loud enough for Rey to hear.

“Vaguely.” Ben whispered back but Rey couldn’t hear him as she was talking to a young man who had just come in with a takeaway burger bag.

The new man seemed happy enough until he glanced behind him and saw Ben and Hux. He made a strange noise and bolted out the door with Rey shouting after him.

“What was that about?” muttered Hux. Ben just shrugged. So much weird stuff happened in Coruscant that most people didn’t bat an eye anymore.

***

“Can you drive?” Rey asked the next time she saw him. It was a bit random but he was finding that was just who Rey was.

“Yes,” It was a simple yes or no question so she couldn’t berate him for only saying one word. He just hoped that she wouldn’t start moving away from him again.

“But you choose not to?” The answer to that was rather obvious, they were on the tube after all. Ben decided to let the one question rule slide.

“Obviously. Would you like to drive into the middle of Coruscant every morning?”

“Definitely not. The people here can’t drive.” Ben gave her a knowing smile. She was right of course. He had never enjoyed city driving anyway. Traffic was at a standstill most of the time and it was much quicker to get places on public transport. If he did need to drive somewhere in Coruscant, he had someone do it for him.

“Although I do miss driving sometimes.” Rey said. “I had to drive twenty miles to and from college when I was there. It gave me my own space to think and just listen to the radio.”

Ben missed driving too. The open countryside of Alderaan was his favourite place. It was where he had learnt, where Han had tried to teach him but it just ended in a screaming match and someone else had to do it. It was a shame really, Ben suspected that they had both hoped that it was something that could bring them closer together but it didn’t.

Classic cars were one of Han Solo’s biggest passions and he had a priceless collection including a highly coveted Millennium Falcon. Ben was jealous of the pile of rusted bolts. Han had put more love and effort into fixing her up than he did his own son.

***

Porg Island was an undeniable success. It had been getting rave reviews from all the critics and they were in talks to make a second longer series. Ben knew it would be popular from the reaction it got from the test audiences, but there were two people’s opinions he valued more.

“So did you like Porg Island then?” Ben asked Alice and Bertie. He was sitting on the floor with them as they played with a Porg Island play set he had bought round for them.

“It’s the best,” said Bertie giving him a gappy smile. He had lost two teeth in the past couple of weeks.

“Meghan didn’t believe me when I said you have made it for us so now I don’t like Meghan.” Alice said sending the little Penny character down the slide on the play set.

“That’s not really a reason to fall out with your friend, Alice.” Ben said.

“Are there going to be any more Uncle Ben?” asked Bertie.

“There’s going to be a special episode at Christmas, then there’ll be more episodes coming, it’s just going to be a while.” They had gone with stop-motion animation because they thought that it made the characters feel more alive as opposed to computer animation, but the episodes took a lot longer to produce.

“I think Kylo needs a girlfriend.” said Alice toying with the figure of the sea serpent.

“What?” Ben said in surprise. She had to be talking about Kylo, there was no way she could know that he had based the sea serpent on himself, she was three.

“He lives all on his own in the rock pools, he needs a family.” she said.

“Even Pinchy the crab has a family.” said Bertie. “He must be lonely.”

Ben sat there quietly for a bit. They were just talking about Kylo, he told himself, they weren’t talking about him, they didn’t know a lot about him really. To them he was just Uncle Ben who would turn up and give them presents and let them do things their parents wouldn’t. They didn’t know he was lonely, did they?

***

“Do you like porgs?” Rey asked Ben.

“They’re alright.” he said as nonchalantly as possible. It was just a coincidence that she was asking him about porgs, just like it was that they kept running into each other on the way home. She couldn’t have suspected anything, could she?

“Well I’ve always loved porgs and then at the weekend I discovered a show called Porg Island which is about -”

“I am well aware what the show is about.” he interrupted.

“You do? I take it your Godkids watch it a lot.”

“Yeah they do.” The theme song was still stuck in his head. Bertie and Alice insisted on watching half the series before he managed to find an excuse to leave their house at the weekend.

“Come on, it’s not that bad,” she playfully nudged him. “It’s cute and fun.”

“I don’t do cute.”

“I bet you like it really,” It seemed to him that she was getting her own back by teasing him. “You may pretend that you’re this big, brooding, serious guy, but deep down you’re really nice. Like Kylo the sea serpent.”

Wow, he thought. This woman barely knows me and she’s pretty much figured me out.

“What makes you think I’m nice?” he said with a hint of a smile.

“I’ve seen you with those children and they really like you. And even though I’m fairly certain that you find me really annoying, you haven’t lost your temper with me.” Rey smiled at him sweetly. She was right he hadn’t and he wasn’t really sure why. “My friend Finn on the other hand, thinks you’re evil.”

“Who’s Finn?” Ben asked.

“Guy I work with. Apparently being interviewed by you is a very traumatic experience. He was the guy who ran away from the sandwich shop the other day.”

“I did wonder what that was about.” Ben let out a snort of laughter. He had actually forgotten about that. “But I can’t say I remember him exactly.”

“I’ll let him know. Might make him calm down about the situation.”

***

Ben was at the zoo extra early. His Uncle Chewie had organised a competition for local school children and the prize was an exclusive Porg Island themed event. Bertie may not have been a winner but Ben had invited them along anyway.

It was too early for Alice who was having to be carried from the station by her mother.

“It’s just typical.” Gwen grumbled as she passed the girl over to Ben. “Whenever we want to have a lie in she’s up at the crack of dawn and whenever we need to get up and go somewhere she refuses.”

“Are you being difficult?” he whispered as Alice gripped his coat tighter and snuggled into his shoulder.

They were so early nothing was really set up yet. There were zoo staff running around setting up a craft activity and a refreshments table while in another room, animators from the show were busy setting up the models used to make the show.

At least they only had to deal with Bertie being bored as Alice and Alfie were both asleep.

Before too long the other contest winners started to arrive and the room filled up with people. Alice had woken up but claimed to be too tired to stand so Ben had to keep carrying her. It worked out quite well actually, he had Alice, Gwen had the baby and Hux had Bertie.

The event started with a little introduction from Chewie explaining how the morning would go, but Ben wasn’t listening. His arm had gone to sleep and he was wondering whether it would be worth risking Alice throwing a tantrum if he put her down.

He then looked around and realised that everyone was moving. Then he noticed the oh-so familiar hairstyle of Rey. Ben was slightly taken aback. What was she doing here? He thought.

This was so strange. Whatever force kept making them bump into each other on their commute was now making them see each other in the world outside of the tube, first the park, then the sandwich shop and now here. But why would she be here? Unless, unless.

Ben quickly looked around her and saw that she was with a young man and a small child. Of course she would be here with a competition winner, that was the only way you could be there. But that meant that she had a child, and she hadn’t mentioned that. Ben wasn’t sure how he felt after finding this out. She seemed a bit young to have a child that age but he wasn’t one to judge, but it did explain why she knew about Porg Island. Why would a grown woman be watching Porg Island on her own?

Ben didn’t have much time to think about it for the rest of the morning. Alice perked up when she saw the models that they used for the show and he had to keep chasing after her.

It wasn’t until they sat down to watch some Porg Island episodes that he saw Rey again. He didn’t know what it was, but whenever she was near he found his eye drawn to her. He told himself he should stop doing that, he shouldn’t be looking at her if she had a family.

Rey turned around and spotted him sitting at the back of the room. They smiled at each other. There was no harm in being friendly to one another and there was no need to ignore each other.

“Hey isn’t that the girl from the sandwich shop?” Hux had caught him. “And isn’t that the guy who ran away? Oh look, he looks like he’s going to do it again. What do you think his deal is?”

“Apparently we interviewed him and it did not go well.” Ben said.

“You remember him? I tend to just forget, I hate doing interviews.”

“No Rey told me.”

“Who’s Rey?” Hux asked.

“She’s Rey.” Ben nodded over to where she was trying to calm her friend, boyfriend?, down.

“You’re actually talking to a girl?” He turned to his wife. “Hey Ben’s talking to a girl.”

“No Hux, it’s not like that.” Ben protested but it was too late.

“Really? Who?” Gwen said excitedly.

“The girl over there with her hair in those three buns.” Hux pointed out.

“She’s cute. Why don’t you go and talk to her?”

“Because she’s with her family.” Ben didn’t want to think about how tight his chest felt at the thought of Rey having a child and boyfriend.

“Are you sure? There’s not much re -. On second thought, I'm not going to finish that sentence.” Gwen said.

“She didn’t mention having a kid then?” Hux asked and Ben shook his head.

“That doesn’t seem right. The first thing I say when a man is trying to hit on me is that I have kids and they soon back away.” Gwen said.

“When have guys been hitting on you?” Hux said puzzled.

Gwen shrugged. “There was that guy when we went on holiday last year with the big, bushy red beard and the blonde guy at the prosthetic limbs support group and -”

Ben interrupted before she could go any further. “But I’m not hitting on her, she started talking to me.”

“Then maybe you don’t have the whole story.” Gwen said.

“Easy way to find out.” Hux said still eyeing his wife and called Bertie over.

“I’ve got a mission for you Private Bertie. You see that boy sitting on the floor over there?” Bertie nodded and Hux gave him a bag of sweets. “Go over and ask him how he knows Rey.”

“Yes sir.” Bertie gave a little salute and scampered off to complete his mission just as the lights went down and Porg Island began to play.

Ben tried to focus on the audience’s reaction to the show. Hearing great reviews was one thing, actually seeing a room full of children really enjoying something he had helped create was another. He couldn’t help but feel proud, like he’d achieved something.

The lights went up and people started to go home. Ben subtly watched Rey leave out of the corner of his eyes.

“Mission report Private Bertie.” Hux said when he came back over to them with a now empty sweet packet. He was going to be bouncing off the walls all afternoon.

“Rey is Mason’s Uncle Finn’s friend who is a girl.” Bertie replied.

“Good work Corporal Bertie.” Hux then turned to Ben. “See. Not her boyfriend, it wasn’t even his kid. Now you have nothing to worry about.”

Ben couldn’t believe it. He had made the same assumption Rey had when she had seen him out with a woman and some kids. They really were a pair.

“It’s not like that,” Ben said. “We’re not even really friends. We just keep bumping into each other.”

“Sure.” Hux said sceptically.

***

“Did you enjoy the porg event on Saturday?” Rey asked Ben on Monday evening.

“It was alright. It was meant for the children.” Ben said with a shrug. Bertie and Alice had had fun at least.

“Yeah but seeing the porgs up close was cool and we got to meet Charles Bacca and he’s an actual celebrity.” To her he was a celebrity, to him he was just Uncle Chewie. It was nothing to get excited about.

“None of the kids know who he was. Did you notice that he would take pictures with people but wouldn’t sign or talk about anything to do with The Wookie Collective?”

“Well he’s really changed his life around hasn’t he?”

Chewie had lived the relatively normal yet slightly stressful life of a struggling musician, with a wife and child. Then The Wookie Collective took off but the touring and general rock star lifestyle took its toll on the family dynamic. It all fell apart when his eleven year old son accidentally drowned in a swimming pool. His wife left him and he turned to drugs to help him cope.

It took years before Chewie was ready to get clean, but his good friend Han Solo was there every step of the way. He had told Ben it was the best thing he had ever done because it allowed him to see him grow up something he could never see his son do.

***

Ben and Rey didn’t see each other for a few days and he couldn’t believe how much he missed her random questioning.

When he did eventually see her again the carriage they were both in was very crowded and it took her almost the whole journey to move her way through the crowd to him.

“Ok, only got time for a quick question, um, when’s your birthday?” It was the most personal question she had asked in a while.

The train pulled into his station.

“The nineteenth.” he said as he backed away towards the doors and out onto the platform.

“What, no, Ben.” Rey cried as the doors closed in her face and he could see that she was saying something else but couldn’t hear her over all the background noise.

He jokingly waved at her through the window. He didn’t care that his vagueness probably annoyed her, no one cared that it was his birthday on Tuesday.

***

Ben woke up on Tuesday morning like it was any other day apart from him turning thirty. He went through his usual morning routine; gym, shower and shave, breakfast, then he got dressed in a crisp white shirt, black suit and black tie.

As normal he checked his phone for any messages before he left for work and as normal on his birthday, there was nothing, not even from his mother. For all her complaining about how hard it was for her to give birth to him, she never seemed to remember his birthday. Ben would be upset if he wasn’t already used to it.

It was the same old journey to the station and down onto the platform. He walked down to the end of the platform and got on the train and stood in the same spot just as he did every day. There was nothing special about today.

There was something different though. When he got on he saw that Rey was also on the train and that she gave up her seat to come stand with him. They didn’t normally see each other in the mornings, and he was about to tell her that she shouldn’t give up her seat just to talk to him, when she spoke first.

“Happy Birthday.” she said. “I know you didn’t say it was this month, but I just assumed. I got you a present.”

She handed him a small wrapped gift. Whatever it was, it was soft. He stood staring at it for a long minute not knowing what to say. She didn’t have to do this.

“If it’s not your birthday or you don’t like the present or I’ve just made things super awkward between us, I’ll get off, switch trains and we’ll forget this happened.”

“No, no, it's really nice of you, thank you.” He smiled at her and he could see some colour coming into her cheeks.

“You haven’t seen what it is yet.”

Ben easily unwrapped Rey present as it wasn’t stuck down with tape, to reveal that she had bought him a red tie.

He must have taken too long to say anything as she interpreted his silence as him not liking it.

“No no, I never said that, look.” He sat his bag down on the floor and quickly changed his tie there on the train. “There, how does it look?”

“Very nice.” Rey smiled up at him. “So you like it then?”

“Of course. It’s even in my favourite colour.” He smiled back.

“So is today your birthday, or have I just given you a free tie?”

“Yes it is, but you didn’t have to give me anything, no one else does.”

“That’s so sad.” Ben just shrugged. It was partially his own fault. He was sure there were a couple of people who would get him something if he let them.

There was something about Rey. She hadn’t given up on him like he thought she would and with this gesture she had finally worn him down.

“I’ll tell you what. As, for some reason, you’ve been really kind to me for the past couple of months, I’ll be your friend.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

She squealed with excitement. A lot of the people standing around them stared at them. Ben was slightly embarrassed but Rey didn’t seem to care.

“What are you wearing?” Hux asked when he wandered into Ben’s office uninvited mid-morning.

“A suit, just like I normally wear.”

“Yes but there’s colour. For the entire time we’ve been working together, I have never seen you wear anything but a black tie.”

Ben tried not to feel self conscious. “Yes, well it was a present so I thought maybe it was time that I tried something new.”

“Your mother got you a present, that’s great.” Hux jumped straight for assuming it was from his mother because he wasn’t aware of anyone else who would possibly get Ben a present considering he knew he didn’t like to celebrate his birthday.

“Actually it wasn’t from her.” he mumbled. He still hadn’t heard from her, but Hux wasn’t listening. He was quickly typing something out on his phone. Ben could see his sly smile which could only mean that he was plotting something.

“Hux, what are you up to?”

“Nothing,” he said, an obvious lie. “You still coming round at the weekend? Alice is insisting on dressing up to go see The Snow Queen and wants her hair done and you’re the only one who she’ll let do it.”

***

Ben was about to leave work when he got a phone call from someone he didn’t really expect to hear from.

“Hey birthday boy,” said the smooth rich voice.

“Hey Uncle Lando,” Ben said trying not to cringe at how creepy he sounded.

“Got any plans for tonight?”

“No, I was just going to go home and -”

“We can’t have that,” Lando said. “Come to Cloud City Lounge and have dinner with your old uncle.”

“I don’t know Lando,” Ben said. He kind of wanted to see if he could find Rey and talk to her for a bit.

“Come on Benny. No one should spend their birthday alone and I haven’t seen you in ages.” Lando said to guilt him into going.

Ben sighed. “Fine. I’ll be there in a bit.”

Cloud City Lounge was located on the top floor of the Bespin Hotel, a five star luxury hotel in the middle of Coruscant, that Lando Calrissian somehow owned. Rumour had it that he had won it at a high steaks table. Whether it was true or not, Lando, a self-confessed man of many talents, had put a lot of time and effort into keeping the hotel and it’s restaurant at the top of many visitors guides to the city.

As usual the restaurant was busy and there were quite a few people waiting for their tables to be ready in the reception area. But when he gave his name to the hostess he was shown through to a private room near the bar straight away, where Lando was waiting for him.

“Benny!” Lando drawing him into a tight hug.

“Please don’t call me that.” Ben groaned. “I’m thirty.”

“But to me you’ll always be that eight year old kid who would be excited to show me a new magic trick he had just learned.”

“Great.” Ben muttered. He hated remembering what he was like as a child. He was so pretentious, it was embarrassing.

“Anyway, I got you a present.” Lando lifted a rather heavy looking box onto the table. It made a clinking noise as he did so. At least it’s not a cape, thought Ben. Lando always used to buy him a cape. He had liked them up until the point he realised everyone thought he was weird looking already and he stopped wanting to draw any more attention to himself.

“It’s an advent calendar.” he said when he unwrapped it. “It’s November.”

“It’ll be December before you know it, and besides, you don’t have to wait.”

“But they’re for children.”

“This one’s not. It’s full of little whiskeys. But if you don’t want it -” Lando went to take it back but Ben snatched it away.

“I never said that. Sorry, I mean, thank you, I don’t get a lot of presents these days and I don’t know how to act in social situations most of the time anyway.”

“I know,” Lando said calmly. “Speaking of which there’s also that,” He pointed at a very big delivery box on the floor. “It’s very heavy so I’m not picking it up.”

Ben just opened the box where it was on the floor. He would definitely have to order a car to take him home. He gasped when he saw what was inside.

It was all nine volumes of The Rise and Fall of the Old Republic, all in hardback with matching limited edition dust jackets. He’d always been a sucker for history and had been wanting these for so long.

“Thank you Uncle Lando, these are just what I wanted.”

“Don’t thank me. Your mother sent them over.”

“Is she -?” Ben jumped to his feet and excitedly turned to face the door.

“No,” Lando said sadly. “She’s not coming. Both her and Han are busy tonight.”

“Oh,” Ben said. What did he really expect? He hadn’t had a birthday with both of his parents since he was five years old.

Ben tried not to feel too let down the rest of the evening and have it ruin his meal with Lando. As always, the food at Cloud City Lounge was fantastic, but Ben had to keep reminding Lando that he couldn’t drink that much as he had to go to work tomorrow. He also had to stop his attempts at finding a girl to take home with him.

***

“You know a few weeks ago when you asked me what I did at the weekend and I said that I went to the zoo and you said that a five year old could give a better answer?” Ben asked Rey on their way home one night.

“Yes?” Rey said not knowing where this was going.

“Well here’s a five year old's answer.” He handed her a piece of paper that he had folded up in his pocket. It was a piece of Bertie’s school work answering the same question Rey had asked him. Half the page was filled with the boys basic description of the day written in his over large handwriting complete with spelling mistakes and backwards letters, and the other half was his artistic interpretation of the three of them.

“Aww that’s so sweet. Rey said handing it back to him. “Although if you talked like that is written, I’d be a bit concerned.”

“Good point.” He tucked the paper back in his pocket.

“Do you take them out on your own?” He nodded. “That’s brave. You’re outnumbered.”

Ben laughed. “It’s not so bad. I think I know how to deal with Alice and Bertie, I’ve known them since they were born.”

“Don’t take this the wrong way but isn’t it a bit weird for a grown, single man to hang out with his married friends and their children?”

“There are some people who think that and think something is going on that is definitely not, but should I have stopped being friends with them just because they got married and had kids?” If he had stopped being friends with Hux and Gwen when that happened, his friend count would be down to zero and he would never leave the house except to go to work.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to accuse you of anything.” Rey said meekly.

“I know you didn’t. Not to brag but they kind of need me.”

“Do they now?” She raised her eyebrow at him.

“Yes. You see Hux used to be in the army, we all did that’s how we met. But anyway he was involved in a helicopter crash and seriously injured his back. He obviously recovered but it still affects him. He can’t do any lifting or running around.”

“And that’s all small children want to do.” Rey finished for him.

“Exactly. So that’s what I do.”

“That’s kind of sad.” she said.

“I know.” He had often caught his friend looking at him wistfully, wishing that he could play with his own children without seriously injuring himself. “But we have a system. He gets to do all the reading and board games and stuff like that. And also the joys of children’s movies. He’s taking Alice to see The Snow Queen at the weekend.”

“Why do you sound so gleeful about that? It’s meant to be good.”

“But he really doesn’t want to go and I just find that funny.”

***

When the door opened at the Huxes’ house on Saturday morning, Ben found all five of them stood on the other side with smiles on their faces that signified that they were up to something. Apart from Alfie, he just sat in his mother’s arms sucking on his dummy.

“What’s going on?” he asked. Honestly when they were all together like this it was a bit creepy.

“Nothing.” Hux said.

“You know I never believe you when you say that.” Ben said going inside and shrugging off his coat.

“Now I know you’ve always said that you don’t want to do anything for your birthday, but -” Gwen started.

“We got you presents.” Alice said dragging him into the sitting room. She was already in her blue sparkly dress ready to go see The Snow Queen later.

“That makes a change.” Ben mumbled. “But you really didn’t have to.”

“Yeah we did.” said Hux as Bertie handed him a gift bag. At least it wasn’t too big.

“There’s five of them,” said Alice who was floating next to him. “One from each of us.”

Ben opened the bag to see that there were five nearly identical little parcels and also one of Alfie’s dummies.

“So that’s where that went.” Gwen said when he handed it back to her. He was pretty sure he could see Alfie grinning even though his mouth was obscured.

“I’m sensing a theme here.” he said after opening the third one to reveal yet another tie. This one had a space pattern. It seemed that Hux had taken him wearing the red tie from Rey as a sign that he and the children were now allowed to buy him more brightly coloured ties.

“Open the next one, open the next one.” Alice said excitedly jumping up and down. He did and it was a tie with pink stripes. Alice giggled. “The last one’s the best.”

In her mind it probably was the best, but Ben knew that Hux was just winding him up. It was a musical Christmas tie with a teddy bear on it who had flashing red eyes when the song played. He nicknamed it psycho teddy.

“Well thanks guys.” Ben said trying to sound as genuine as possible.

“You’re welcome.” said Hux with a sly smile. “And I do expect you to wear them to work next week.”

“Great.” Ben muttered.

“You need to do my hair now Uncle Ben.” Alice said, and he spent nearly ten minutes getting all of the tangles out of it.

The Snow Queen was a new animated film that was very popular with girls Alice’s age and had some very catchy music. The characters had been everywhere for the past month so Ben knew what the main character’s hair looked like. It was actually a fairly simple braid, but Gwen could only just about do a ponytail, so it was up to him to do it.

“How come you know how to make my hair pretty?” asked Alice. She was sat in front of him holding her Penny Porg for comfort while he tried to smooth out her hair.

“In Alderaan, which is where I’m from, there’s a tradition of hair braiding. Different styles mean different things and we all learn.” he said sectioning off her hair so he could get started. It was a skill passed down through the generations, from parent to child, or in his case from his nanny. It helped strengthen the bond between the two generations. One day, Ben hoped he would be able to do his own daughter’s hair, to weave her thick dark hair into complex looking patterns. But that was probably a long way off so Alice and her fine red hair would have to do for now.

“Did you do your sister’s hair?”

“No. I don’t have a sister. I was an only child.” He loved his friend’s family but he was envious of them. Alice was so lucky to have two parents who were around all the time and brothers to play with.

“No one to steal your toys though.” Alice said trying her very best to reach the Percy toy that had been left on the floor without moving her head.

“No, no one stole my toys.” he replied sadly leaving the fact that he had no one to share them with either, unsaid.

They sat quietly while Ben finished off. He used a couple of hair clips to flatten the hair that was too short to go up. They were a nice light blue and matched the dress perfectly.

“There we go, all done.” Ben said at last. “Go have a look in the mirror.”

Alice got up and bumped into Hux in the doorway. “Hi Daddy, do you like my hair?”

Hux looked down at her puzzled. “Um yeah,” he said but she didn’t sense hesitation and skipped off to the bathroom to look in the mirror.

“Um Ben, what did you do?”

“What do you mean?” Ben asked brushing all the loose hair off his legs.

“That’s not what the snow queen’s hair looks like. You’ve done it like that girl’s from the zoo for some reason.”

“What?!” Ben got up and rushed after Alice. She was already standing on a stool in front of the bathroom sink, looking in the mirror. Sure enough there were three little buns going down the back of her head, just like Rey’s.

Ben didn’t have time to think about how or why he had subconsciously done that. The hair style wasn’t the one Alice had wanted and when she didn’t get what she wanted she would throw a tantrum.

“It’s ok Alice, I can fix it, just come and sit back down again.” he said calmly. He liked to disappear whenever one of the children threw a fit. He didn’t feel bad about so unless he was somehow the cause.

“But I like it.” Alice said.

“You do?” Ben said with genuine surprise.

“Yes.” Alice hopped down from the stool and went over to take her father’s hand. “Come on Daddy, let’s go.”

Hux gave Ben a look that meant he was going to get no end of questions when he got back.


	3. December

Ben looked at the first miniature bottle of whiskey out of the advent calendar Lando had given him. He shook his head, the whole thing was ridiculous. In his mind, advent calendars were for children. He remembered when Bertie first learned to open the little cardboard doors, he had opened all of the doors when nobody was watching and got a terrible tummy ache as a result of eating all the chocolate. Alice had never done that which surprised him. She showed little restraint in almost everything else.

But people always said he was too serious, that he needed to have a bit more fun, so opening the advent calendar it was.

Ben liked whiskey but he didn’t tend to keep it in his house. Sometimes his mood changed and it wasn’t a good idea to have any alcohol on hand. But it was nearly Christmas, not that he should be making any excuses.

***

Ben had a feeling that Rey was annoyed with him. After shutting her down from talking about Space Wars, she had let him pick a question to ask and it seemed like he had picked the worst possible one.

He had never been to Jakku but he knew it by reputation. It was an awful place on the whole with high crime rates and poverty was rife. He meant it when he said she had done well for herself by getting out of there and landing a highly skilled job in Coruscant.

But he felt bad and wanted to make it up to her, which is how he found himself on a cinema website looking at tickets for the new Space Wars film. It was what she had been saying before he cut her off. Knowing Rey she would already have her ticket, but he wondered if she -.

His thoughts were interrupted by Hux walking into his office eating a clementine.

“What are you doing?” he asked, dumping some of the rind in Ben’s bin.

“Nothing.” Ben said closing the window on his computer so he couldn’t see what he had been looking at.

“Sure.” Hux made himself comfortable in one of the spare chairs. “You asked this girl of yours out yet?”

“She’s not my girl.” Ben said. After accidentally doing Alice’s hair like Rey’s, Hux had made him tell him what was going on. “We’re just trying to get to know one another.”

“And you can only do that on a dirty tube train.” Hux said sarcastically. “Take her somewhere where you can actually hear each other speak and don’t have to smell anyone else.”

Ben huffed but Hux was right. It probably would be a good idea to go somewhere with Rey, somewhere where they had planned to go and not just met at by chance.

And there didn’t have to be any romantic subtext, friends went places together all the time.

So once Hux had gone, leaving his office smelling of orange, Ben booked two tickets to see Space Wars on the Saturday after it was released. He was sure that Rey wouldn’t mind seeing it again, as long as she enjoyed it the first time.

***

“So here’s my bedside table,” Rey'd had a much more productive weekend than he had. She was currently showing him pictures of the furniture she had made. He had just stayed in reading a book. He probably should have done some Christmas shopping or something but he had already got something for the children so he only really needed to get something for Hux and Gwen.

“I found a cheap blue lamp and some coasters. It still looks a bit bare but I don’t know what else to put on it.”

“Most people would have a clock or a picture frame.” he suggested. He didn’t know why they did, he didn’t have them on his bedside table. Like most people nowadays, he used his phone to tell the time, despite wearing a very expensive watch, and there was no one he wanted to have a picture of besides his bed.

“It’s also got a drawer that I can put my -”

“You don’t have to tell me that.” he cut her off quickly.

“I was just going to say emergency biscuits. What did you think I was going to say?”

“Something wholly less innocent.” Ben coughed a little and could feel his cheeks go hot. He didn’t know why he thought she was going to say what he thought, maybe he was still scarred by the time he found something he shouldn’t have in his mother’s bedside table when he was seven. Rey would think he was such a creep if she knew what he was talking about. Luckily she didn’t so he decided to change the subject before she cottoned on.

“Anyway, what else did you build?”

Rey looked at him suspiciously but carried on. “Well I put together a bookcase. I have a few books but not that many. So I’ve put a few on each shelf with some random ornaments I found and a little Christmas tree on top.”

Ben leaned in and squinted at her phone screen. He noticed something about all the books lined up between all the random fluffy unicorns and ceramic pineapples.

“Are all those books -”

“Space Wars? Yes.” she smiled up at him obviously proud of her collection.

“Surely you must read other things?”

“Nope. I have been reading nothing but Space Wars tie-in novels and Space Wars fanfiction since September.” she was still smiling at him.

“But what about the classics, modern epics, historical fiction?”

“I may take a look at those once the Space Wars hype dies down.” Ben didn’t hold out much hope for that, the franchise had been around for over thirty years already with no sign of going away anytime soon.

“Let me tell you why I love Space Wars so much.” Rey said when she saw him shake his head.

“Another time perhaps.” It was perfect timing, they had just pulled into his station.

On his walk home from the station, Ben’s mind was preoccupied by the idea of getting Rey a Christmas present. He told himself that she needed to expand her reading repertoire, it was perfectly normal for friends to buy each other presents after all.

***

“Why I love Space Wars: A Coruscant Underground extended essay by Rey Bennet.” Rey said as soon as they got on the train home.

“No please.” Ben grimaced. “Let’s talk about something else. Anything.”

“How about, why Han Solo is the greatest actor of his generation?”

“No.”

“Or we could discuss how Princess Leia is a feminist icon?”

“Can we choose a different icon?” He had to try and get out of this one.

Ben had told himself that it was just a coincidence that she had picked both his parents as something else to talk about, she couldn’t have suspected their connection. But it was just his luck that she seemed to admire both of them.

“Fine.” he sighed when it looked like she would never back down. “Do you know nothing but Space Wars?”

“I do at the moment. So why do I love Space Wars?”

“You know what?” Ben had to make another attempt to get out of this. “I think I’ll get off here and enjoy the walk home.”

“Ben.” Rey grabbed his arm to stop him leaving. “Don’t be silly. It’s pitch black outside.”

“Well you’d better tell this story quick as I’ve only got three more stops left.” He found her concern touching.

“That’s because you keep wasting time. Might have to make this a two parter.”

“The short version would be preferable.” He looked down at where her hand was still holding onto his sleeve. It felt nice there but she took it away.

“Um well. It speaks to me. I see it as a story about family and how the people around you become your family rather than the people you’re related to by blood. They stick together, go on daring adventures and as a kid that’s what I really wanted.”

Ben thought about what she said and smiled sadly. “You’re right about one thing, the people you choose to be your family are a lot more reliable than your real family.”

He thought about Uncle Lando and Uncle Chewie and Auntie Ami, Hux, Gwen and the children. They were the family he chose but he couldn’t escape Han and Leia even if he tried. There was always something between them, the hope that things would get better.

A small piece of hair had escaped from Rey’s ponytail and he gently tucked it behind her ear. It was a sweet and intimate gesture, but friends fixed each others hair didn’t they?

***

Ben had made up his mind as to what he wanted to get Rey for Christmas, but he needed his father’s assistance.

It took him all evening to suck it up and call Han but when he did he remembered one of the reasons he hated doing so. It wasn’t until nearly the last ring that Han Solo answered the phone.

“Hey son. It’s a bit late, isn't it?”

“Maybe. Look, I need you to sign something for me.”

“What’s the catch?” Han asked.

“No catch, I just want you to sign something.”

“Hmm.” Ben could hear his father thinking. “Tell you what, I’ll sign whatever it is if you spend Christmas with us in Alderaan.”

Now Ben was saddled with a catch but it had to be done. “Ok fine.”

“Really?” Han sounded very surprised but happy. “I didn’t think that would work but ok.”

Ben sighed as he hung up and looked at the invoice for the Texas Jack books he had just ordered online. He could have sworn he’d seen Rey reading a very old and tattered copy back when he started noticing her, but now it looked like she wouldn’t be getting her new signed copies until after Christmas.

***

“What do you want me to do about your Christmas presents?” Ben asked, walking into Hux’s office uninvited for a change. “I’ve ended up having to go to Alderaan.”

“We’re off to Gwen’s parents for a few days.” Hux said grateful for a distraction from the work he was meant to be doing. “But if you’re back before New Years you can bring them round then.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Now he just had to get around to buying Hux and Gwen something.

Rey didn’t seem quite herself when they got on the train home. He was about to ask her what was wrong when she asked him what he was doing for Christmas. His answer was definitely not the right one.

“You’re spending Christmas with your parents as a favour?” He had to shush her for being too loud.

“Yes I don’t particularly want to spend time with them. I thought you’d understand that.”

“Why on Earth would you think that?” she spat out her words. She must have been mad, but Ben was confused as to why.

“Well when you were saying that you love Space Wars because it was about choosing your own family, I thought yours had let you down like mine let me down.”

“They’re dead.” Rey said bluntly and to make him feel even more guilt added, “And there’s nothing I wouldn’t give to be able to spend time with them.”

“Rey I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.” He was ashamed. He knew he was luckier than most; he just couldn’t appreciate it. Hux called him out on it sometimes. He had been abandoned by his mother on the doorstep of his absolute bastard of a father, a man who had abused him for much of his youth.

“No one does. I don’t talk about it.” she sighed. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked you that. I haven’t had a good day. I should have asked about something fun.”

“Are you sure you’re ok?”

“I’ll be fine.”

“If you feel you need to talk to someone, I know a therapist. They’re very reasonable. Could help.” Ben had to offer. He knew all about saying he was fine when he wasn’t.

“I’ll think about it.” she said.

“Good, now a fun question.” he said. He wanted to make her smile before he had to get off. He looked around the carriage for inspiration. There wasn’t much. “What are you having for dinner?”

Rey smiled because it was a slightly ridiculous question.

***

“You seem happier today.” Ben said to Rey as they waited for their train.

“I am and I’ll show you why when we get on the train.”

They did their usual shuffle into the already stuffed carriage. Rey tried to balance herself so she could get something out of her bag. She was leaning up against him more than usual.

“Don’t let my fall.” she said.

“I won’t.” he said seriously because friends don’t let each other fall.

It looked like she momentarily forgot what she was meant to be doing, but shook her head and pulled a comic book out of her bag.

“Here it is. I went and got it at lunchtime.”

“Really?” Ben raised an eyebrow when he saw that it was a Space Wars comic.

“Yes it’s really good. I’ve already read it. I hid it in a coding book.” Rey could tell he was unconvinced. “Look it’s all pictures, you’ve got to at least appreciate the art style.”

She flicked through a few pages to show him.

“They look nothing like the characters.” He thought that picking holes was the best way to tease her.

“That’s because it’s set ten years before the events of the film when they were teenagers, so of course they don’t look the same. I mean ten years ago I was twelve and I don’t look the same, and ten years ago you were -?”

So she was twenty two, an eight year age gap. Not that it mattered, there was a ten year gap between his parents.

“I was twenty and no I don’t look the same as I did then.” He didn’t want to think about it, he hated the way he’d looked. Despite being in the army Ben had yet to fill out his tall frame and because he was in the army his hair was cut short which really didn’t suit him at all.

Rey talked animatedly about the comic and even though Ben didn’t particularly care about it, he liked the way it made her eyes light up.

“It’s just so amazing that they are on these parallel journeys and that one day they are destined to come together.” Rey said.

“Parallel means that they never meet.” Ben couldn’t resist it.

“You know what I mean.” she playfully nudged him.

Ben laughed. “So are they your favourite characters then?”

“Yes.” Rey lit up even more if that was possible. “Kira more so than Wren. She’s just so interesting and she has the capacity to turn the tide of the war in either direction. But I want her to be redeemed so her and Wren can live happily ever after together.”

“Really?”

“Yes. These films need a love story as epic as General Emilia and Lone Star’s, and what better way to achieve that than by having the lovers start on opposite sides.”

“You really think she deserves redemption? She killed Lone Star didn’t she?” Ben probably should have been ashamed to admit that he had watched that scene on repeat multiple times, but it felt good.

“She did but Maisie Ripley is such a good actress so she can pull it off. She may be young but she is awesome and pretty and I wish I could be her.”

***

“Wow Ben. Twice in two weeks, that must be a record. Are you sure you’re my son?” Han sounded happy as he joked with Ben when they engaged in another late night phone call.

“Yeah still me. I just want another favour.” Ben couldn’t believe he was doing this but the idea had been going around his head all evening. “I was wondering if you could get me a meeting with Maisie Ripley at some point.”

“With Maisie? You want to meet Maisie?” Han seemed very surprised.

“Yes. Look I know she’s really busy doing press for the new movie but if you could -”

“I can do it. I’m really glad you want to meet her actually, she’s so nice. I’ve wanted to introduce you for some time.”

“That’s nice. If you could just let me know -”

“As long as you spend New Years with us as well.”

“What?”

“And come with me to the party on the waterfront like you used to.”

“But I hate that party.” Ben moaned.

“That’s the price you have to pay if you want to meet Maisie.”

“Ok fine.” Ben said through gritted teeth. He couldn’t believe it, he was spending a week with his parents just to get Rey a Christmas present which she wasn’t even going to get until January. But that’s what friends did wasn’t it, make sacrifices for each other?

“Excellent. You know I’m really looking forward to introducing you two. It almost seems fated, with her playing my daughter and all.”

Ben frowned. “What do you mean? Lone Star had a son.”

“Yeah, well actually he had both. Wren and Kira are twins separated at birth. We’ve all known since the beginning.”

“Oh God Dad! Spoilers!” Ben put his head in his hands. Rey was not going to like this.

***

A few days later was the day Ben knew that Rey had really been looking forward to. He could see her excited smile a mile off.

“Guess what today is.” she said in a sing-song voice.

“It gets released tomorrow.” he said matching her tone.

“Technically one minute passed midnight is tomorrow but it feels like today.”

“Wait, you’re going to the midnight showing?” he frowned at her, but she kept smiling.

“Yeah, I had to see it as soon as humanly possible and I’m so excited. I’ve planned my whole evening out.”

“How are you getting there? How are you getting back? Coruscant can be dangerous late at night.” Ben couldn’t help but be concerned. Rey shouldn’t be going out alone in the middle of the night.

“It’ll be fine. I know it’s daunting, but if I give into fear, I’ll never do anything I want to.”

She was right, he knew. “Just tell me how you’re planning on getting home.”

“I’ve already ordered a taxi as the tube will have stopped running by the time it finishes.”

“Good.” He knew there was nothing to worry about. Rey was a sensible woman who could look after herself.

“Well enjoy yourself.” Ben said as the train pulled into his station. “Stay safe and see you tomorrow. Will I be seeing you tomorrow?” The film was going to finish around three in the morning. He wasn’t sure he’d want to go to work with that little sleep, but Rey nodded. He just hoped that whatever force was drawing them together did so tomorrow.

Ben tried to put Rey out of his mind that evening, kept telling himself that she would be fine, but he couldn’t help but worry. Friends worried about each other's safety right?

***

“Stop deluding yourself.” Hux said as he was eating the party food that Snoke had begrudgingly let them bring in for a festive office lunch. Ben had actually heard him say humbug several times that week.

“I’m not.” Ben argued looking at the ugly Christmas tie he was wearing. He didn’t dare press the button and awaken psycho teddy.

“You like her, that much is obvious. Why else would you be worrying about her or going to all this trouble to get her a present.” Ben didn’t know why he had brought up Rey, but he had and now he had to have this conversation with Hux.

“I mean it’s just something friends do, get Christmas presents.” Ben shrugged.

“Yes and what have you got me and Gwen?” Hux folded his arms. Ah, thought Ben. He knew there was something he still needed to do. “And now that you are spending Christmas with them, what are you getting your parents?”

“Any ideas?” Ben asked weakly.

“As you are going to Alderaan you can bring us back some Toniray wine. As for your parents, I don’t know, whiskey and hand cream?”

“Thanks.” Ben said. He’d be right on that.

“Anyway back to you. You are going to ask this girl out. Where are you going to take her?”

Ben sighed. He just had to face the fact that he did actually want to ask Rey out. “I did get two tickets to see Space Wars on Saturday.”

“You’d go see that?” Hux said, surprised.

“She really likes it, but she saw it last night and I don’t know if she liked it enough to go see it again.”

“Just ask her whether she liked it.” Hux said like it was the easiest thing in the world.

“I would but I didn’t see her this morning and I don’t know if I’ll see her tonight what with us closing early.”

“You don’t need to see her just text -” Hux looked at him. “You don’t have her number do you?” He sighed. “Don’t leave everything up to chance. If you want something to happen, make it happen.”

Hux was right Ben kept telling himself all the way to the station. He should have told Rey he had tickets sooner then he wouldn’t be slightly panicked. He had no idea how he could get a hold of her. Maybe Auntie Ami could help but that seemed like it might be against the rules.

Just then he looked up and he was sure that he spotted her, either that or someone was copying her signature hairstyle. She wasn’t too far ahead of him and the station wasn’t as busy as normal so there was a chance he could catch up.

He made it onto the platform as the train was pulling in and he could see that Rey was in their usual spot at the end of the platform. It was a bit of a rush but he managed to get in the same carriage as Rey just as the doors were closing.

Ben looked around the carriage and saw that Rey was sitting down and inviting him to sit next to her by patting the seat. This was it, he said to himself. He was going to make something happen.

He didn’t usually sit down when he was on the tube. The seats were too narrow for him and his shoulders would always be touching someone else’s but he didn’t mind being pushed up against Rey.

“Did they let you out early too?” Rey asked. She seemed tired but not upset so that was a good sign.

“Yes. Did you enjoy your film?”

“Yes it was so good.” Something must have happened to fulfil her need for romance considering her otp turned out to be twins.

“Do you want to see it again?” Here was the moment of truth.

“Definitely, though I’m going to have to hunt around for tickets, it’s pretty booked up.”

“Do you want to see it with me? I have a spare ticket.”

“You do? For when?”

“Tomorrow night at the Imax.” He tried to hide his enjoyment of seeing her so excited.

“Seriously? Those tickets sold out ages ago. How did you… You had them all the time, didn't you? You do like Space Wars.”

“Not really. Do you want to come?”

“Of course I do, but,” Ben frowned, he didn’t want there to be a but. “You’re not just inviting me along because you need help babysitting a five year old are you?”

Ben was relieved. “No, Hux can take Bertie. It’ll just be you and me.”

“Ok,” she smiled at him and he smiled back.

“Can I have your number?” he said before he forgot.

“Yeah, of course. That will probably make things easier.” Ben gave her his phone so she could type in her number.

“Hey, you’re wearing a Christmas tie.” Rey said when she handed back his phone.

Ben realised he had left his coat open so she could see what he was wearing.

“I figured I should probably wear it considering it’s the last day before the holidays. I have to thank you for this, you know.”

“Did I inspire you to get more colour in your wardrobe?”

“Not you inspired Hux and the children to get me a whole load of new ties for my birthday, including psycho teddy here.”

“How is he psycho?” Rey asked.

“Because if you press it.” Ben instantly regretted doing that as Christmas music blared out of his tie and psycho teddy’s eyes flashed red and everyone in the carriage turned to look at him. At least Rey found it funny.

***

Ben met Rey at the cinema on Saturday afternoon. She was there first and he spotted her standing outside out of the way of the other people arriving at the cinema, all bundled up in her coat and scarf.

“Hey.” she said when she spotted him.

“Hey.” he said back, not sure whether he should give her a kiss on the cheek or a hug or whether that would just be awkward. Ben had never been very good on dates that’s why he hardly got a second one, but he knew and liked Rey. He just needed to relax he told himself. Things would be a lot smoother if he relaxed.

“Shall we go in?” Rey asked after the silence stretched on a bit too long.

“Yes sorry.” Ben tried to cover himself with a laugh. “Yes I just needed to get the tickets from the machine.”

“I’ve never been to an Imax, what makes it so special?” Rey asked as they waited for their turn at the ticket collection machine.

“Picture quality and sound are meant to be better I think.” Ben said following the instructions the machine gave him. “You can tell me if you notice a difference.” He handed Rey the flimsy bit of paper her ticket was printed on. Now they just had to find something to talk about before they could go into the screen.

“Do you want some popcorn?” They were at the cinema after all and the smell was almost distracting. He had seen Rey eyeing the concession stand.

“No, no it’s fine.” Rey said but she didn’t sound convincing.

“You sure? I’d have thought you’d want that commemorative bucket.” It had Kira on one side and Wren on the other.

“I do, but it’s just so expensive.” she said sadly.

“I’ll get it for you, I don’t mind.”

“You don’t have to. You’ve already got the tickets” Rey shrugged.

“But I invited you. I want to buy you some popcorn if you’ll let me.”

“Ok, but we’re sharing it.” Rey conceded.

Despite saying that they’d share, Rey ended up eating most of the popcorn, but Ben didn’t mind. She seemed to be really enjoying it and he had always thought it tasted like polystyrene anyway.

On second thought, Ben decided that going to the cinema probably wasn’t the best place for a date as they were sat in the dark for nearly three hours and couldn’t really talk. The closest they got was when Rey leaned over and told him that she loved certain parts.

He couldn’t really initiate anything either. When he tried to get some popcorn out of the bucket at the same time as Rey meaning that their hands would accidentally touch, she would move her hand out of the way and apologise.

Ben thought that pretending to yawn and stretch so he could put his hand around her shoulders was a bit much. And those were the only vaguely romantic things he could think of so all he could really do was watch the film so he could talk with Rey about it later.

As it turned out, the film wasn’t that bad. Ben thought he may enjoy the Space Wars films going forward because his father wasn’t in them.

“Fine, I’ll admit it,” Ben said as they were leaving, picking up a free poster as they went. “That was my favourite Space Wars movie.”

“I’m so glad you enjoyed it.” Rey smiled as she cradled her prize popcorn bucket and poster. “What was your favourite part?”

“I liked the fight between Wren and the Lord Commander’s son. I can see him going dark.”

“Yes that’s one of the theories I was looking at this morning. I hope he doesn’t go full dark though, but we’ll have to wait a couple of years to find out.”

“I assumed this yesterday, but you’re not too upset that Kira and Wren are brother and sister.”

“I was for like ten minutes before we found out about Officer Randolph then I was completely fine with it.” Rey said. “I honestly prefer them together. It’s really sweet how they found love while working for an evil organisation and did you see how quickly he turned on his employer just to know she was ok? It was wonderful.”

They stepped out into the cold December air. It was already dark making it feel later than it was.

“What do you want to do now?” Ben asked Rey. He’d let her decide.

“I don’t know.” Rey shrugged. “I don’t really go out with friends much. What would be a normal thing to do?”

Friends. Ben hoped it was dark enough for Rey not to see if the disappointment he felt registered on his face. Of course she thought of him as just a friend, why would she think of him as anything more. He had been rude and abrasive and grumpy towards her. He just thought that because she hadn’t given up on him after a few days that there could be something, but obviously not.

If Rey just wanted to be friends then he’d be the best friend he could possibly be, then there was still a chance things could happen between them.

“We could go get something to eat.” Ben said, trying to keep his voice level. “Or we could just call it a night.”

“Getting something to eat would be nice. I went food shopping this morning but I’m not really inspired by anything I bought.”

Ben took her to a food market and bought her dinner even though he probably shouldn’t have.

“You know, today was fun.” Rey said when they were on the train back to their part of Coruscant. “It would be nice to do it again actually. I mean friends don’t just hang out on their commute.”

There was that word again. It stabbed him in the chest but he forced himself to smile at what she had meant as a joke.

“This is probably the last time I’ll see you before Christmas. Do you want me to get you a present?” she asked.

“No, it’s ok. You don’t have to get me anything.” he said even though he was getting her something.

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.” The train pulled into his station. “Merry Christmas Rey.”

“Merry Christmas Ben.” It was the thought of her bright smile that was going to get him through a week with his parents, even if she didn’t feel the same.

***

The flight to Alderaan was uneventful but it was busy considering everyone was trying to get somewhere for the holidays.

One of the only perks of being his mother’s son was that he got fast tracked through passport control at Alderaan International Airport and could get out of there quicker. The down side was that all the locals knew who he was.

There was nothing he could do but pull up the hood of his sweatshirt when the paparazzi who were always camped out at the airport, spotted him as he made his way to the car that was waiting for him.

Ben stared out of the tinted window at the traffic and the Christmas lights that lined the streets as he was driven back to the former Royal Palace that now housed a museum and government offices and where his mother still had a suite of rooms.

A footman had come out to greet him and take his bags. He hadn’t brought that much as he presumed they would be going back to Coruscant in a couple of days, if they were going to be at the New Years Eve party on the waterfront, so he could always go home to change.

To his surprise, his dad was also standing at the door waiting for him. Ben didn’t really know what to make of that.

“Hey Ben.” Han gave him an awkward side hug that wasn’t really him. It was like someone had told him that this was how you were supposed to act with your children.

“Hey Dad.” Ben said just wanting Han to let go of him. “Where’s Mum?”

“Haven’t told her you were coming.” Han said with a smile.

“Why didn’t you tell her I was coming?” Ben asked crossly.

“Why didn’t you?”

“Fair point.” Ben conceded. “But won’t this mess up her plans?”

“That’s what I’m counting on. A bit of festive entertainment.”

Ben shook his head at Han’s antics. He didn’t particularly want to see his mother have some sort of melt down because her Christmas plans had to change. He was planning on hiding up in his childhood bedroom as much as he could.

He hadn’t been back to his mother’s house in a while but nothing had really changed. Every room was decorated for the holidays but they were the same sort of decorations and ornaments he remembered from when he was a child.

Leia was sitting in the living room reading. The Christmas tree was all lit up and there were a few presents sat underneath it. Ben could tell which were from Han by the state of the wrapping.

“Hey Leia. Guess who’s here.” Han said gleefully. Leia looked up and pretty much did a double take before jumping up and running over to give him a big hug.

“Oh Benny, why didn’t you tell me you were going to be joining us?” She pulled him down to her height so she could give him a kiss.

“I wanted to surprise you.”

“Well it’s a wonderful surprise. I always have your old room made up just in case.” Leia went to pull him to sit back down with her.

“Is that it?” Han grumbled.

“Is what it dear?” asked Leia.

“Dad was under the impression that you’d have some sort of freak out with me turning up unannounced.” Ben said to get a bit of his own back.

“Why would I do that? We always have too much food, our dining table seats fifteen and I have more dinner plates than I know what to do with. I’d still be prepared even if he turned up with a wife and three children in tow.” She turned back to him. “Is that going to happen any time soon?”

“No.” Ben crossed his arms grumpily. Of course that would come up. But it also made him think of Rey.

“Well I’m a bit tired from my flight so I’m just going to go to my room -” He was halfway to the door, phone already out of his pocket, he needed to figure out what to say to Rey, when Leia stopped him.

“No you don’t. We’re going to have a nice family Christmas so you’re not going to sit in your room all the time or just stare at your phone. Hand it over.” She held out her hand and gave him a hard stare.

“But I need it for work.” Ben lied but it wasn’t that convincing, her hard stare was very effective. “Snoke said -”

“You know my opinion of Snoke and you’re not doing any work, you’re on holiday. So hand it over.”

“Fine.” He handed it over and shoved his hands in his pockets. He just hoped Rey wouldn’t be too mad about the radio silence.

“Good. Now would anyone like a drink?” Leia asked going back to being pleasant.

***

Ben tried his best but there was no getting one over on Leia Organa. He tried to sleep in to minimise the amount of time he had to socialise, but she came in and opened the curtains and stole the duvet. He tried to find a nice quiet place where he could just sit and read, but she would come in, with a game to play and dragging Han behind her. He tried to find some solitude in the kitchen, he liked cooking, but Leia found him and insisted they make and decorate sugar cookies.

Christmas morning saw Ben sat in the front row at the Church of the Force listening to his Uncle Luke’s sermon with Leia, Han had somehow gotten out of it. He didn’t want to be there. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe, it was just that he wanted to practise in his own way. He didn’t like how Uncle Luke implied that there was only one way of thinking and that all other ways were bad. It hadn’t helped his angry teenage self.

When they got back the turkey was already in the oven as Leia had hired a chef. Ben wouldn’t have minded doing it as long as he was left alone and it wouldn’t have meant they were keeping some poor man from his family at Christmas.

It was the four of them for dinner; Ben, Leia, Han and Luke who was joining them for a bit before he had to go and fulfil his charitable obligations.

Ben had always felt uncomfortable at family dinners. Growing up he had been the only child and even though he was now an adult, it was hard to shake the feeling of not quite belonging.

Ben had found that the best way to avoid awkward conversations was to always keep his mouth full, so he helped himself to seconds of everything, but had to stop after thirds. Even then there was still plenty left.

Then it was time for presents. They went through to the living room to see that the number of presents had multiplied by quite a lot. Ben was puzzled, he hadn’t bought any more. He looked over at Han who just shrugged, he wasn’t behind it either.

“Oh thank you Han, this is lovely.” Leia held up the cream coloured cardigan she just unwrapped.

“What? I never got you that.” Han said.

“Yes you did. See?” She held up the label to show him.

“No I didn’t. When have I ever bought you something so -”

“Look. When Ben arrived I went online and ordered a whole load of stuff for us and stuck a random label on it. So will the pair of you just play along?”

“I didn’t say anything.” said Ben who was trying to figure out how his new puzzle cube worked.

“Leia. The force teaches us not to rely so much on material possessions.” Luke said.

“Oh yeah,” said Leia. “How do you like your donation for the Church Youth Group?”

“The Lord thanks and blesses you for your generosity.” Luke said bashfully.

“That’s what I thought. Now let’s see what else is under the tree shall we.”

“You already know what’s under there Mother.” Ben said which got him a ball of scrunched up paper to the head.

***

“You could have made an effort.” Han said. It was a couple of days later and they were back in Coruscant. Han was true to his word and had set up a meeting with Maisie Ripley at a fancy hotel. There was nothing wrong with the dark jeans and jumper Ben was wearing.

“Me? What about you?” Ben nodded to Han’s beat up leather jacket. “How old is that thing anyway?”

When they got into the hotel, Ben made for the bar. It was his dad’s usual haunt and would be ideal for a quick meeting. But Han called him in the opposite direction towards the restaurant. Confused, Ben followed him and a waiter over to a table where Maisie was waiting for them.

“Hello Han.” she said as they greeted each other warmly. “It’s so good to see you again.”

“You too kid.” he turned to Ben. “This is my son Ben, the one I’ve been telling you all about.”

“Nice to meet you.” Maisie said, offering her hand for him to shake.

“You too.” he said to be polite but he could sense that something was off.

“Well have fun you two and don’t stay out too late.” Han winked and walked off.

“What? Dad, where are you going?” Ben called after him, earning him looks from the other diners. He turned to Maisie to see if she knew what was going on and it was only then that he noticed that she was sat at a table for two.

“I think you better sit down Ben.” Maisie said suddenly looking serious. He did so still in his coat.

“Just to let you know that your meal has been prepaid for so you are free to order whatever you want.” said a snooty waiter. “I’ll be back shortly to take your order.”

Ben looked at the menu in confusion. What was going on?

“Now Ben, I am flattered but I’ve got to be honest and tell you that I’m only here because Han asked me to. I’m sure you are as great as he says you are but I already have a boyfriend, Han doesn’t know we’re keeping things as private as possible. So I’m sorry and I hope you understand.” Maisie crossed her hands on the table in front of her and looked at him sympathetically.

“What are you on about?” Ben asked.

“Han said you wanted to meet me and he’s set us up on a date?” she said. It was her turn to be confused.

“I’m going to kill him.” Ben said getting up. He wondered if he would be able to catch up with his father.

“Ben sit down.” Maisie said leaning over and grabbing his sleeve. “That can wait. If you didn’t want a date then why are you here?”

“It’s probably going to sound just as sleazy but I just wanted your autograph.”

Maisie laughed. “Is that it? You could have just asked Han to get it for you and avoid all this.”

“I know but I’m just awkward and go about things in a weird way sometimes. Plus the fact that I didn’t want to explain that much to my dad.”

“Maybe you should have explained a little bit more. Why do you want my autograph anyway?”

“I have a friend who thinks you’re cool and I want her to think I’m cool. You probably think I’m pathetic.” Ben slumped in his chair and stared at his hands. “I’ve probably drawn you away from your family haven’t I?”

“Yes but it was getting a bit claustrophobic in there.” said Maisie. “I wanted a couple of hours to myself even if I thought I’d be hurting someone’s feelings.”

“Well the only thing I’m feeling is embarrassed.”

“So this friend of yours, you like her?” She took a sip of water and Ben nodded. “Well there’s no harm done. I’ll sign whatever then we’ll eat the best lunch Han’s money can buy.”

Ben was about to say something but Maisie interrupted. “And please don’t actually hurt Han. I owe him a lot. He really helped me out with everything as Lady Kira being my first big role and the fact that she killed his character.”

Ben knew where to find his dad as soon as he got back to his mum’s house in Coruscant. Most of Han’s classic car collection was in Alderaan where there was much more space, but there was room in Coruscant for a couple of cars that he could work on when he needed to get away from Leia.

“Hey son. How did it go?” Han said when he heard Ben approach.

“What the Hell did you think you were achieving by setting us up like that?” Ben tried to keep his anger in check but he didn’t think he was succeeding.

“I was trying to get you a girlfriend. Maisie is a great girl, maybe if you weren’t -”

Ben interrupted so he didn’t have to hear what Han had to say. “She has a boyfriend and I’m not interested in her at all.” He stormed out of the garage. He wished he could just go back to his house, but Leia had taken his keys so he had to spend the waste of a week between Christmas and New Year’s with his parents.

***

“You really didn’t have to come.” Ben said to his parents as they carried the children’s presents from the car to the house.

“Nonsense.” said Leia who wasn’t carrying anything except her handbag. “I want to see the baby.”

The door was answered by Alice who had a pair of fairy wings on over her green dress. “Uncle Ben!” she shouted. She was always happy to see him, but she looked suspiciously at Han and Leia.

“Alice, we’ve told you not to open the front door. You don’t know who's on the other side.” Hux said coming through from the kitchen a fraction too late to stop Alice getting to the door first.

“But I can reach now Daddy.” she said sweetly.

Hux sighed. “Whatever. Why don’t you guys come on in?”

Ben had barely got his shoes off when Bertie came barrelling into him dressed as a dinosaur.

“Hi Uncle Ben. Did you bring us presents?”

“Yes. Did you have a nice Christmas with your Grandma and Grandpa?”

“Yes but there were too many girls. I played dominoes with Grandpa.”

“Oh well. Alfie will be big enough for you to play with soon.” Bertie’s Christmas was the type Ben wished he could have had, with lots of children to play with and Grandparents that would always indulge you.

“Who are the old people?” Bertie whispered not too quietly looking behind Ben.

“Bertie.” his father scolded.

Ben tried not to laugh. “These are my parents Han and Leia. You’ve met them a few times but you were very small at the time.”

“The last time I saw you,” Leia said. “Alice was still a baby.”

The girl herself was more interested in the presents Ben had put down while he took off his coat.

“Alright let’s get out of the hallway shall we?” Hux said ushering everyone into the living room where Gwen was trying to tidy up a bit so everyone could sit down. Leia went straight for Alfie who was crawling around getting under her feet.

The children opened their presents while the adults watched. Alice was over eager as always but Bertie kept staring at Han like he was trying to figure something out.

“We got you a present too Uncle Ben.” Alice said gleefully handing him a gift bag.

“Is it more ties?” he said in good humour.

“No.” she giggled. It wasn’t all ties, he got two. One with red and white stripes and the other was purple. He also got a tie rack and some Christmas decorations the kids had made at school and nursery. If only he put up a tree himself.

“Aww, how sweet.” said Leia who was now cuddling Alfie. “I’ve still got all of the ones you made when you were little Ben.”

That surprised him.

Bertie had run out of the room at some point but was now back with a book and standing at the arm of the chair Han was in.

“Hey kid.” Han said when he was unnerved enough by the kid staring at him.

“Is that you?” Bertie asked pointing to a picture in the book. Ben recognised it as a Space Wars picture book. He wasn’t sure that the franchise was entirely appropriate for kids Bertie’s age but Hux had taken him to see the new film all the same.

“Yeah that’s my kid.” Han said.

“Wow, you’ve been to space.” Bertie said in a way that only five year old could.

“Would anyone like a drink?” Hux said changing the subject. He knew Ben’s feelings about his father’s involvement in Space Wars all too well.

“Well we did just bring you a whole crate of Toniray wine.” Han suggested.

“Dad, that was a present.” Ben said crossly.

“No it’s ok.” Gwen said. “We can open a bottle. I fancy a glass.”

“Me too.” said Leia.

“Can I have some?” Alice asked not looking up from her new toys.

“No you’re having juice.” Hux said. “Right, I’ll go do that then. Ben, can you come help?”

“Can you make a start on the party food while you’re in there?” Gwen called after them.

Hux turned on him as soon as they got in the kitchen. “What the Hell is this?” he hissed, shoving his phone in Ben’s face.

Ben had to move away to see that it was a picture of him and Maisie leaving the hotel restaurant. He had thought he’d seen someone with a camera hiding behind a car.

“You were supposed to be going on a date with this Rey girl and next thing I know you’re spotted leaving a cosy lunch for two with an actress. What happened?”

“Dad happened. He took it upon himself to set me and Maisie up on a date rather than just meeting in a bar and staying long enough for him to drink a triple whiskey. I just wanted an autograph.”

“And what does Rey think of this?” Hux stood leaning up against the counter with his arms folded.

“I don’t know. Mother took away my phone so I haven’t been able to speak with her. But I’m sure she’ll be fine once I explain everything.”

***

It was eight o’clock New Years Eve, four short hours until Ben was free. He and Han had just arrived at the party on the waterfront. It had only just started but it was as awful as Ben remembered. Maybe it would be a long four hours.

The rooms were too dark and too crowded. There wasn’t enough food and too much alcohol. The old crowd including Han was still there but there was a new younger crowd that had started attending in the years when Ben wasn’t. They were apparently well known people but Ben didn’t know who any of them were.

He just felt super awkward. He wasn’t a sociable person to begin with and drinking didn’t help him like it did other people. He just wanted to go home but he had promised and he needed Han to sign the Texas Jack books for Rey. He wanted her to have a nice present.

Ben wondered what she had been up to. He hoped she was having a nice time off work and hadn’t just been sat on her own this whole time. This time of year could be rather lonely and he didn’t want Rey to feel like that. Maybe she had met up with some other friends. She seemed like the kind of person who would have lots of friends, unlike him.

Ben spent his time moving from one corner of the room to another trying to avoid as much interaction as possible. His black suit jacket and dark hair let him blend in with the wall.

The tactic was working ever so well until he went to replenish his drink when he got flanked by an intoxicated Thomas Thanisson and an equally drunk girl with long black hair and a skimpy dress that was somehow staying on.

“Alright Benny. Long time no see.” Thanisson was a few years younger than Ben. They had only really met at these parties so weren’t really friends. Ben had always found him to be loud and annoying and after several years, that still seemed to be the case.

“Please get off me.” Ben tried to remove his arm from around his shoulders.

“Aww still as grumpy as always hey Solo? Hey Jess, get a picture.” The drunk girl took the picture before Ben could protest, then staggered off slightly.

“Gorgeous isn’t she?” Thanisson said in Ben’s ear.

“Couldn’t possibly say.” said Ben. This Jess seemed to be trying way too hard to be alluring. It didn’t work on him but it was working on Thanisson. He couldn’t see Rey going out in something so revealing.

Ben managed to shake Thanisson and hide more successfully for the rest of the night until it was time for the fireworks at midnight.

The Coruscant New Years fireworks were always the best way to see off the old year and see in the new one.

As he watched the multicoloured patterns fill the night sky, Ben found himself thinking about the year to come. He never made a New Year’s resolution as he never kept them, but he did have some hopes involving a certain young woman.


	4. January

“Dad please. I’ve done as you asked, now can you please just sign the books so I can go home.” Ben demanded not so quietly on New Year's Day, not caring that Han was still hungover.

“Yes Ben, just not so loud OK?” Han took the trilogy of Texas Jack books from Ben. “I thought you learned to forge my signature back when you were in school?”

It wasn’t Ben’s proudest moment but he did really want to go on the school trip. “I did but the real thing would be better.”

“Very well. Who am I making these out too?” Han asked with a pen in his hand.

“Rey.” Ben said.

“Oh,” Han said sounding surprised.

“What?”

“Nothing.” Han said signing away. “It’s just -” he coughed a couple of times while he deliberated what to say. “I mean it explains some things, like why you weren’t interested in Maisie.”

“No you made an assumption and she has a boyfriend.”   
  


“I know that we don’t have the best relationship son,” Han continued awkwardly. “But me and your mother still love you and we want you to be happy so if there’s anything you need to tell us -”

“Oh God Dad stop!” Ben cried when he realised what Han was trying to say. “I’m not gay.”

“Then who’s -”

“Rey is a girl. It’s short for Rachel.” He watched the realisation and a hint of relief wash over Han’s face. “She’s a fan of yours, God knows why, and I wanted to give her those books as a Christmas present.”

“Why didn’t you say so? Could have given her them sooner.”

“I tried but you made me spend the holidays with you before you would sign anything.” Ben snatched the books back. “And you’ve spelled her name wrong.”

“How was I supposed to know?”

Ben took a pen and changed all the a’s to e’s.

***

It was very late by the time Ben got back to his own apartment. His mother had dragged out his departure by first insisting that he stay for lunch, then join them for a walk around the park. Ben supposed he could have made a run for it but Leia still had his phone and keys locked up in her office. Besides, he was trying to be a better son for once to show Rey he could appreciate what she didn’t have.

It had been nice for Leia to have all of his clothes washed before he left so that he didn’t have to think about doing it when he got home, but she didn’t have to wait until he wanted to leave to do so.

It was good to be back in his own space after more than a week away, even if the place felt emptier than it did before.

Before Ben went to bed, he wrapped the stack of books in some leftover Porg Island wrapping paper and slipped the present and the poster Maisie Ripley had signed inside a black gift bag he had lying around. Ben drifted off thinking about Rey. He knew he shouldn’t as she was still just a friend but there was potential for something more he knew it.

He wondered what she had been up to. He just hoped she wasn’t too mad that he hadn’t called her or anything, not that it was his fault, and that she would enjoy her present

***

Ben had forgotten just how early he set his alarm for in the morning. He had been allowing himself to lie in to shorten the amount of time he spent socialising, but now it was time to get back into a routine.

He did his workout in the home gym, showered, shaved and got dressed. Ben decided to wear the red tie Rey had bought him. It felt right to wear it. While going through his wardrobe, he found psycho teddy and buried it deep in the back of the wardrobe, hopefully to be forgotten about.

Ben thought about texting Rey, asking her to meet him somewhere at lunchtime, but he rather enjoyed their seemingly coincidental run-ins. It was almost like an other worldly force was bringing them together, so he left it up to fate.

He didn’t see her on the morning commute which wasn’t unusual, he didn’t see her most mornings.

The gift bag sat neatly under his desk for most of the day after Hux had wandered in and being his usual nosy self, tried to find out what it was and who it was for.

That evening, Ben scanned the station and platform as discreetly as possible for any sign of Rey, he didn’t want her to see how desperate he was to find her tonight, he didn’t want to have to take her present back home with him, but he couldn’t see her in their usual spot. Maybe he should have texted.

Rather despondently he got on his train and took hold of the handrail. He spent most of the journey staring at the ground, but looked up every so often when other people got on and off in case he had somehow missed her. Commuters were creatures of habit after all.

Finally his luck won out when a rather large man got off the train revealing that Rey had been standing there the whole time.

Ben was very happy to see her and started shuffling his way through the carriage towards her. Though she pretended to be engrossed with whatever was on her phone he could see her eyes darting in his direction and the look she was giving him was cold and angry.

“What’s wrong?” he asked knowing it was best to talk about it if she had had a bad day instead of bottling it all up.

“Nothing.” she said sullenly. “I just don’t want to talk to you right now.”

Oh no, he thought, she must be really angry about him not texting or calling her. He should have done so this morning or last night, or tried harder to steal his phone back from his mother.

“Is it because I didn’t call or text you after the cinema? If so that was because -”

“You don’t have to say it Ben.” He could hear the venom when she said his name. “I know you were too busy enjoying yourself to call a nobody like me.”

“What are you talking about?” He was confused. He couldn’t have called the time he spent with his parents exactly fun.

“I suppose it is rather fitting that the son of Han Solo should go out with the daughter of Lone Star.”

Ben stood up straighter, shocked. “How do you know about that?”

That damn photo! Of course she had seen that and found out the truth that was his family before he had the chance to tell her.

He knew how much she admired them, much more than he ever did. He had been worried that she wouldn’t like him as much if she knew the truth, that’s why he hadn’t told her yet.

Now she had found out and she was angry at him. Or was it because he was with another woman? Was Rey jealous? Either way he needed to sort this out.

“No it wasn’t like that. Let me explain.”

“Don’t bother. It’s your stop next.” Rey said harshly, barely looking at him.

“No I need to clear this up.” He would stay on the train as long as she would let him.

“Just get off before we start causing a scene.” Ben was sure that the people around them had already noticed but he respected Rey’s wishes and got off the train.

He looked back at her through the dirty window of the carriage but she didn’t spare him a second glance.

Ben made it home on autopilot, not remembering anything about the journey apart from the empty feeling in his chest left by Rey’s rejection.

He dropped his work bag and coat on the floor and put the black sparkly gift bag on the table before heading into the kitchen. At some point on his way home it had gotten crushed.

***

Ben slept through his alarm the next morning thanks to him drinking half a dozen of the whiskey miniatures from Uncle Lando. He barely made it to work on time, hair still wet from the shower and unshaven.

Because of this he had to stay late and missed his chance to speak with Rey. He had tried calling her but couldn’t get through and all his texts went undelivered. She must have really been mad at him but he could sort this out relatively simply, he just needed to get Rey to talk to him.

The next morning he got up with his alarm and left for work extra early still wearing Rey’s red tie, it was the one thing he had that connected him with her.

Ben got off the train and sat on one of the little metal benches waiting for Rey to appear. He knew he looked a mess, it reflected how he felt and what he’d done.

He was terrible with people, had trouble making friends. Rey was the first one he’d made in years and all because she had persisted, unperturbed by his moody nature. Now he was going to do the same thing. He didn’t want to give up on their friendship.

Ben waited on the bench scanning the crowd every time a train pulled in for any sign of Rey.

Eventually he spotted her. He saw that she had seen him but she kept walking, following the flow of the crowd. She still looked angry and unapproachable, he briefly thought he should just leave her alone but he was already on his feet and making his way towards her before he could stop himself.

“Rey please let me explain.” Ben said when he reached her side.

“No, leave me alone. I need to get to work.” Rey said looking straight ahead.

“I tried calling you but it wouldn’t connect.”

“That’s because I blocked you. You’re not who I thought you were.”

Ben sighed. “I don’t want to just be known as my father’s son. I want to make my own way.”

“And you’re doing just fine at that. I looked you up on the First Order Financial website, you’re not just some accountant, you’re pretty much the second in command of the whole company.”

She had him there.

“I admit that I withheld some of the truth but I have my reasons, but if you just let me explain -” he started as they got through the ticket barrier.

“No Ben. I’ve lost my good opinion of you. You’ve joined the long list of people who lied to me and let me down.” She glared at him with hard hazel eyes. “Goodbye Ben.” she said leaving him standing alone in the middle of the ticket hall.

Ben felt his lip quiver, his chest and throat tightening and the sting of tears behind his eyes as he watched her walk away.

That was it, that was all he could do. He’d made a mess of things and she didn’t want to see him again. All he could do was feel sorry for himself and he only had himself to blame.

Staving off his breakdown as long as possible, Ben pulled the collar of his coat up and made his way to his office as fast as he could.

It wasn’t the best place to go but at least he could get some privacy. He would have much preferred to have gone back home but that would have meant sitting on the train for nearly half an hour and he didn’t think he could hold it together for that long.

When he got to the office building, Ben kept his head down, not wanting to make eye contact with anyone and as usual most people got out of his way without saying a word.

Ben barked at his assistant that he wasn’t to be disturbed for any reason and locked himself in his office without taking the cup of coffee Mitaka had diligently bought him.

He didn’t even make it to his desk chair, he just slumped on the floor and let his body be overcome by ugly sobs.

He didn’t really know why he was acting like this. Rey had just been a friend and even though he had intended for their trip to the cinema to be a date, she didn’t. Perhaps she didn’t like him at all. Perhaps his feelings had deepened without him realising.

Ben didn’t know how long he was sat there, he couldn’t focus on anything but his swirling feelings. He was aware of the knocks at the door, of the phone ringing on his desk, of his mobile ringing in his pocket but he didn’t answer any of them, he couldn’t trust himself to do anything about them.

At some point someone found the spare key to let themselves into the office without breaking the door down. Ben didn’t look up to see who had come in but they came and stood in front of him and he could tell by the shoes that it was Hux.

“You look awful. Are you drunk?”

Ben shook his head but he wished he was. He knew he shouldn’t drink when he felt like this but he wanted something to take the pain away.

“Did someone die?” Hux asked.

Again Ben shook his head and looked up at the man who was pretty much his only friend.

Hux sighed. “You really shouldn’t be here Ben if you’re feeling like this. I’m calling you a car to take you home and I’ll send for Gregor to bring you downstairs.”

Then Hux left and Ben went back to staring at a spot on the skirting board.

Ben didn’t remember a lot of what happened next but he felt himself be part carried, part dragged out of the building by their man mountain of a security guard and being put in the back of a car. He was going to be the subject of office gossip for quite some time.

***

Ben wasn’t sure how long he spent in bed, he kept his blackout curtains closed and just lay there, dozing off periodically. He let his phone run out of battery and ordered take away food only when he felt the need to eat.

It was stupid really for him to be acting like this. After all the reason he was boiled down to some girl not wanting to be his friend anymore. It shouldn’t be affecting him like this but it was.

He had just dozed off when he was startled awake by a loud banging at the door. Ben looked around in confusion trying to remember if he’d ordered any food.

“Ben Solo! Come and open this door!” a woman’s voice shouted from the other side and he knew her well enough to know not to keep her waiting.

“Do you usually answer the door in just your boxers?” Gwen asked him as soon as he opened the door.

Ben looked down at himself and saw that he was just wearing a pair of black boxers. It was lucky that he was wearing them, he hadn’t seen much point in getting dressed. The delivery drivers must have had an eye full. Thinking about it, when was the last time he had changed these?

“What are you doing here Gwen?” Ben asked to change the subject.

“Armie sent me to check on you.” she said inviting herself and Alfie, who was all snuggled up in his pushchair, in. “You’ve been off work for nearly a week and we’re a bit concerned.”

Ben was about to say something but Gwen jumped back in. “Before you say you’re fine, you’re not. You look awful and it smells in here. So you are going to have a shower and put on some clean clothes while I do some tidying up then we’re going to have a little chat. Ok?”

“Yes ma’am.” he said with a mock salute.

Ben had to admit it was nice to have a shower after lounging around for a long time. If he was meant to be having a mental health day, or week in his case, he supposed he should have been taking better care of himself.

When he came back out into the sitting area all the dirty plates and take away containers were put away and the curtains were open. Gwen was sitting on the sofa holding a fidgety Alfie on her lap.

“I think he wants to get down.” Ben sat in the chair across from her.

“Well he’s not. Your house isn’t very baby proof.”

Ben looked around and realised that this was the first time that one of the children had been to his place. He had always gone to theirs because it was easier.

“What happened Ben? We haven’t seen you like this in ages.” Gwen asked kindly.

“You’re going to think it’s stupid.” Ben said leaning forward, resting his forearms on his knees and stared at his hands.

“If something makes you feel this way then it’s not stupid.”

“Well I met this girl on the tube,” Ben started and proceeded to tell Gwen all that had happened with Rey over the past three months.

“So you like this girl but she thinks you lied to her and that you’re seeing another woman but won’t let you explain.” Gwen summarised to make sure she had her head round it.

“Yes, and I don’t know what to do. I can’t stand the thought of her being out there and thinking ill of me. Everything I think of just sounds stalker-y.”

“We can’t have that now.” Gwen put Alfie down on the sofa but had to keep stopping him from climbing down. “Do you know where she works?”

“Resistance Business Solutions.”

“I bet you loved hearing that.” she said with a sly smile. “Why don’t you send her a letter there? It’s not that intrusive and it’s up to her then whether she reads it or not but at least you’ve got the truth down somewhere.”

“Yeah I can do that, ask Auntie Ami to make sure she gets it. But what about the Maisie thing? What if Rey doesn’t believe me?”

“You need to get her to say something.” Gwen was flicking through her phone. “From the quick search I’ve just done, she’s being very coy about it, but kind of implying that you are her boyfriend.”

“It helps her because it hides her real relationship but isn’t helping me.” Ben sank back in his seat and stared at the ceiling.

“Who was the man that got you into this mess?”

“Dad.”

“Well then, maybe he can help you get out of it.”

***

Ben sat there waiting for Han to pick up the phone. He always let it nearly ring out before answering making you think he was never going to pick up. Ben hated it.

“Ben!” Han said cheerfully when he finally answered. “How’s it going son?”

“Yeah fine. Can you call Maisie Ripley and tell her to release a statement saying I’m not her boyfriend or something.”

“I mean you could have told her yourself if -”

“I’ve told you, neither of us were there for the reason you thought. So could you just ask her please?”

“As you said please, but what makes you think she’ll listen to me?”

“She said it was hard to say no to you. And I don’t really want to think about that too closely.”

“Probably for the best.” Han said. “Say, how did that Rey like her books?”

“I haven’t given her them yet.” Ben said, really wanting to hang up.

“Why not? It’s mid January, it was already a late Christmas present.”

“It’s a long story.” He didn’t say that it was mostly Han’s fault but he wanted to. “Anyway please call Maisie. Ok bye.” and he hung up.

Han was true to his word at least, but Ben didn’t expect Maisie to make such a public statement as taking her actual boyfriend, fellow actor John Crawley, to the Coruscant Film Awards. He couldn’t thank her enough but that meant another phone call with Han.

***

“Auntie Ami,” Ben called to the tall, thin woman with purple hair. He had been waiting on a bench near the Resistance offices for her to arrive.

“Ben!” She was happy to see him at first then grow more concerned when she saw his appearance. “You look rough, are you alright?”

He tried to smile. “I’ve been better.”

“Do you want to go get coffee before work? It’s still quite early.” Amilyn asked.

“No it’s Ok, I’ll be quick.” He held out the slightly crumpled gift bag and envelope containing his confessional letter. It had run longer than expected and he struggled to fit it in the envelope. “Could you give these to Rey Bennet? She’s one of your data analysts.”

“Yes I know Rey. She has her hair in three little buns most of the time. I do admire people who take bold fashion choices.” She flicked her own hair for emphasis. “But how do you know her?”

“Well,” Ben tried not to blush. “Long story short, we kept bumping into each other on the tube, then we got to talking and we became friends. I really like her but she found out that Han and Leia were my parents before I could tell her and she’s really angry about that but she wouldn’t talk to me to let me explain. So as a last attempt, I wrote her a letter and it’s up to her whether she reads it or not.” 

“I'll make sure she gets them.” Amilyn said kindly, taking the bag and the letter from him. “Do you want me to let you know if she takes them or not?”

“You can do. Thank you Auntie Ami.”

She messaged him at lunchtime saying that Rey had taken the letter and present. It was now up to her and he had no idea what would come next.

Ben was about to ask Mitaka to go buy him something for lunch, he didn’t want to go out himself for fear of bumping into Rey, when Hux came into his office with a Tupperware box.

“Gwen said you had been eating nothing but junk food so she made a bit extra last night.”

Ben didn’t know what to say. It was so nice to have someone looking out for him. “It has dinosaurs on it.” he said trying to get back into the usual banter he had with his friend.

“Of course it does. Perhaps you would prefer the fairy one. We have three children, everything we own has a cutesy face on it.”

***

Ben was sat at his desk the next day eating the leftover lasagna Hux had bought him in, true to his word, a fairy box, when the man himself walked in looking pleased with himself.

“Guess who I just saved from getting thrown out by security?”

“Who?” Ben couldn’t be bothered to guess. He didn’t like most people and would prefer them to be thrown out by security.

“Your tube girl.” Hux said with a smug smile.

“Rey.” Ben whispered. She was here, she had come to see him and he still looked a mess, he needed to do something quickly.

With all thoughts suddenly turned to Rey, Ben forgot that he still had lasagna on his fork and his sudden movement caused it to fall right down his red tie, Rey’s red tie, leaving a big greasy stain. At least it wasn’t on his white shirt.

“Damn it.” he exclaimed loudly, now he looked even more of a slob. He grabbed a bunch of tissues to try and tidy himself up.

“Anyway, she asked me to give you this.” Hux said, putting a white envelope on the edge of his desk and left.

Ben fell back into his chair defeated. She wasn’t here, she hadn’t come to see him, she’d written him a letter so she wouldn’t have to.

He closed his eyes and focused on his breathing, he couldn’t break down again. He knew this was a possibility, probably the one with the greatest odds, and now he just had to live with that.

All appetite gone, Ben pushed what remained of the lasagna away and turned to his computer and the mountain of emails he had to catch up on.

The letter from Rey sat burning a hole in his desk for the rest of the afternoon. Ben couldn’t bear to read her rejection and feel that pain again. But as it got closer and closer to the end of the day his curiosity won out and he ripped open the envelope to find several pages torn out of a spiral bound notebook covered in what must have been Rey’s rather scruffy handwriting.

He took a deep breath to help prepare himself for the worst and started reading.

_ Dear Ben, _

_ I really appreciate you sharing your story with me and I feel it’s only fair that I do the same. _

_ I’ve already told you that I used to live in Jakku and that my parents are dead, but that’s not the worst part. My parents died in a drink driving accident they caused when I was just over a year old. I like to think that they were good people who made one terrible decision but I could be wrong. _

_ I didn’t have any other family so I was put into care. I’ll spare you the details but inspection reports on the social services in Jakku are available online and they are not pretty. And that is where I lived until I aged out and was left to fend for myself because no one wanted to adopt me. There is nothing more demeaning than sitting there watching other children go off to have new lives, better lives, wondering why that isn’t you, why people didn’t like you, what was wrong with you. _

_ I didn’t learn what had happened to my parents until I was twelve and had believed up until that point that they would be coming back for me. I told myself and the other children that and they made fun of me when the truth came out. _

_ I was bullied by the other kids at school because I was poor and barely looked after and by the kids at the care home because I didn’t want to go out and cause trouble with them, I was too busy studying. _

_ I knew that was the only way I could get out of Jakku. I wanted to get out of that crappy nowhere place and come to Coruscant where there was so much to do and so many opportunities. So I worked my arse off at school and university and I made it. _

_ But I started feeling overwhelmed, I had achieved my goal but everything was so new and big and there were so many people and I was alone. _

_ I hated being lonely surrounded by people so instead of drowning in that feeling, I broke the golden rule of tube travel and reached out to a very tall man dressed in black that I felt inexplicably drawn to. He was sullen and grumpy to start off with, then he decided he would be annoying and tease me but I won him over with the gift of a simple red tie. _

_ Then I got the wrong idea about things and stubbornly refused to listen and now I fear I’ve ruined the connection we had. _

_ Ben, I am so sorry. I am terrible with emotions, I am terrible with people. I was neglected for so long I don’t know how to act rationally. I feel that this whole episode was my fault, I should have listened to you. _

_ I very much want to be friends again. If you feel the same or you have something else to say, please meet me at the coffee shop outside the tube station after work. _

_ I hope to see you there, _

_ Rey. _

Ben sat back in his chair once he had finished reading. It was safe to say that he hadn’t expected that but he was glad of it. They had told each other their life stories, acknowledged that they had both made mistakes, they were equal now.

And best of all she wanted to see him, wanted to be friends again.

Ben looked at his watch and realised it was later than he thought, that she would have already left work and that he was making her wait in that coffee shop probably making her unnecessarily anxious. He wanted to be there, he needed to be there.

He grabbed his coat and bag and ran out the door feeling lighter than he had in ages. He probably looked like a loon, coat and hair billowing in the wind as he pushed past tired commuters just trying to get home, but he didn’t care.

When he got to the coffee shop, Rey looked relieved and they nervously smiled at each other. He made his way over to her.

“Hi,” he said quietly almost shyly. Even though he wanted this to happen, he didn’t know how this was supposed to go.

“Hi,” she replied in the same way. Then she sat up straight and said more confidently. “Hi. My name is Rachel Bennet, but everyone calls me Rey. I’m a poor orphan from Jakku who has a tendency to jump to conclusions.”

She offered him her hand. His smile grew as he took it.

“Ben Solo. Yes there is a relation but I prefer to get by on my own merits.” He sat down on the spare stool at the table.

“Can we be friends again? I’ve missed you.” she said.

“Of course we can.” he said laying his hand on top of her’s on the table. He was finally holding her hand and it felt nice and natural.

“Sorry I overreacted and wouldn’t let you talk so we could have sorted this out sooner.” Rey said regretfully.

“And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. It’s just that I wanted you to get to know me for me because I know you love my dad so much.”

“Well now we know we have to communicate better.” Rey said hopefully and he gave her hand a little squeeze but didn’t remove it, he wasn’t ready to let go.

“So I have been nowhere, know no one and haven’t done anything that I didn’t put in my letter. You got anything else to tell me?”

Ben tried his best not to smile, as it would give the game away, for what he was about to tell her would blow her mind, and he very much enjoyed teasing her.

***

Ben saw an advert for an exhibition about sensory art at the Nation Art Museum and suggested to Rey that they should go. After all, if they were going to be friends, they really should start meeting up outside of the daily commute.

“This is nice.” Rey said as they were wandering through the part of the exhibition dedicated to sight, seeing if they could make sense of the optical illusions. “No noisy children running around unlike the last time you suggested a museum to me.”

“I did think later on that I should have warned you that it was half term but I didn’t actually think you’d take up my suggestion.”

Rey shrugged. “Why wouldn’t I? It’s not like I’m overflowing with ideas of what to do with myself.”

They came to the last exhibit in that room. “Do you think they’ll let us eat stuff in the taste section?” Rey asked.

They did not. Instead they had to look at statues made out of different foods. Admittedly they were very good, but Ben could tell that Rey would have preferred to eat something.

The section dedicated to sound took them outside onto a roof terrace where there were different types of chimes and sculptures that played notes when the wind blew through them.

It was still rather chilly but not unpleasantly so, so Ben and Rey took a seat on one of the benches to take in more of the sounds.

They had been sitting quietly when Rey sighed.

“What’s the matter?” Ben asked.

“It’s nothing really. I mean it is, but -” she cut herself off with another sigh.

“You can tell me Rey.” he said quietly.

“I know why you did it, but would you have told me who your parents are?”

Ben looked at one of the sculptures. “Probably. If things hadn’t happened the way they did and I gave you your present when I was planning to, you’d probably be wondering how I got some out of print book signed. At which point there would be no point in lying.”

“And I may not have been so angry and let you explain sooner because I heard it from you first.”

It was Ben’s turn to sigh. He really had made a mess of things.

“But oh well.” Rey said jumping up off the bench. “What’s done is done. Come on.”

She held out her hand to him, he thought to help him up, but when he stood up she didn’t let go and neither did he. So they looked around the rest of the exhibition hand in hand.


	5. February

“Uncle Ben!” Alice cried as she did a flying leap into his arms. “We haven’t seen you in ages!”

“I know, I know.” he said, giving her a hug back. “But I wasn’t very well.”

“What was wrong? Did you die?”

“What? No.” Ben found the innocence of children so endearing.

“Uncle Ben.” Bertie had joined them in the hallway, he was driving his toy car across the wall. “If you die, do I get superpowers?”

“No.”

“Aww.” Bertie said sadly.

“Ok you two, can we actually let Ben into the house so I can close the door?” Gwen said. She was feeling quite triumphant about getting to their front door before Alice did.

Alice clung to his neck tighter when he tried to put her down so he could take his coat off.

“Come on Alice. I promise I’ll pick you straight back up again.”

The four of them went through to the kitchen where Alfie was sitting in his playpen, which they all referred to as the baby prison.

“Alright Hux. What’s for dinner?” Ben asked.

“Roast pork and all the trimmings.”

“Smells good.”

“I don’t want any broccoli.” Alice said back in Ben’s arms.

“Well tough.” said her dad.

“But I don’t like it.” she whined. Hux gave her a look that bore no hint of sympathy.

“Why don’t we go play a game so we’re out of the way, hmm?” Ben said to defuse the situation and hoping to avoid a tantrum.

Bertie was already in the playroom crashing his toy cars into each other.

“Come on Bertie, we’re going to play a game.” Ben said putting Alice down so she could sit on the tiny plastic chair at the tiny plastic table. He would sit on the floor. “Pick something your sister can play.”

Bertie picked snakes and ladders, which was good as you only had to be able to count to six and Alice could do that. Unfortunately she didn’t like to lose and kept skipping the squares containing snake heads.

“Come on Alice, play properly.” Ben told her.

“Mummy said you were really sad.” Bertie said. “That’s why you couldn’t see us.”

“Yeah.” Ben said slowly. He was thinking about how he could put it so that they would understand. “And it’s perfectly normal to feel sad but it’s not good when it stops you from doing everyday stuff and that’s what happens to me sometimes.”

He looked at their worried little faces. “It’s alright, I’m better now. Your mum helped me get out of my slump.”

“Cuddling Mummy always makes me feel better even when she’s shouted at me.” Alice said.

“Well she didn’t cuddle me.” Ben muttered, not that he wanted Gwen to. It was more the fact that his mother wasn’t around much to cuddle him when he was little, it was always Nanny, and now he felt like he couldn’t go to Leia now when he was upset.

They went through to the kitchen to have their dinner. Ben was thankful to trade the floor for an actual chair even if one of Alfie’s dummies had somehow made it under the seat cushion.

Dinner was delicious the way that home cooked roast dinners always are, and even Alice ate her two pieces of broccoli after much coaxing.

After dinner, Gwen took Alfie upstairs to give him a bath and put him to bed, Bertie and Alice were allowed to stay up a bit later and watch a film as long as they behaved, leaving Ben and Hux to do the washing up.

“So.” Hux said, stretching out the vowel.

“So?” Ben replied.

“How are things going with Rey?” They hadn’t actually talked about it yet. Ben presumed he had been waiting until he didn’t look like he’d been sleeping outside any more.

Ben smiled to himself as he dried off a plate. “Good. Since when do we talk of such things?”

“As your best friend, I feel it is my duty after your recent episode to enquire after your well being.” Ben raised an eyebrow at Hux. “That and I don’t get out much.” He grabbed Ben’s shoulders in mock despair. “Tell me what it’s like to be an adult and not a parent.”

“I don’t know. You’ve got it pretty great if you ask me.” Ben said. What with a wife, children, a big house they’d inherited and a holiday to Dreamworld booked, Ben couldn’t think of anything better.

“You’re right.” Hux smiled at Alice’s artistic representation of the family done in poster print that was stuck on the fridge with a magnet. “I’m glad they don’t have to experience the quiet I had to … or the fear.”

***

“So Gwen sent me to the pharmacy to buy more dummies for Alfie because he’s going through them like there’s no tomorrow.” Hux said as he sat himself down in one of the chairs in Ben’s office. It was coming to the end of lunchtime but Ben had been busy and hadn’t finished the food that he’d sent Mitaka out to get.

“He somehow hides them, that’s how he’s getting through them.” Ben said.

“I know.”

“How do you think he does it?”

“I suspect the others help, that all three of them are in on some kind of conspiracy.” Hux shrugged. “But back to what I was saying. Guess who was also in the pharmacy.”

“Who?”

“Rey.”

“Are you really going to play this game every time you see her? She only works down the road and that is the closest pharmacy.” Ben went to sip his drink.

“She was buying a pregnancy test.” Hux sat in his chair coolly watching Ben spit out and choke on his drink.

Ben’s mind was suddenly racing. Could Rey be? It wasn’t like they were a thing, no matter what he wished, she could have been with anyone.

“Don’t worry, she said it wasn’t for her.” Hux said.

“We haven’t -” Ben spluttered but ended up coughing.

“She said that too. Not judging you on that of course, but she also said that she wasn’t your girlfriend. How can she not be your girlfriend after what you’ve been through the past couple of months?”

Ben shrugged and started fiddling with the end of his purple tie. “I don’t know. It’s just when we went out in December she made it sound like she only wanted me as a friend and I’m going to respect that.”

“Well it’s obviously not what you want.” Hux said. “Has she said anything like that recently?”

“No and she held my hand.”

“Well then, you should ask her out again and be explicit this time. Valentine’s Day is coming up, that will definitely tell her that you want to be more than friends.”

“No offence Armitage -”

“Don’t call me that, I’m just trying to help.”

“But why should I take dating advice from you?”

“Because I am a happily married man.”

“You and Gwen were fuck buddies for years before you had a near death experience and decided you loved her.”

“I will happily push you out of the window if it will help you make up your mind.” Hux said with a grim smile.

“Fine,” Ben sighed. “Just don’t nag me.”

Ben met up with Rey at the tube station like he usually did so they could go home. He had believed Hux about what Rey had told him about the pregnancy test but he kept thinking about it anyway.

“So Hux told me he saw you at lunchtime.”

“Yes that was kind of embarrassing, but it wasn’t for me I swear.” Rey said.

“It’s ok, I believe you but why were you buying one?”

“A friend from work, Jess, got a bit carried away at a New Year’s party. The one you were at in fact.”

Ben thought back to that night. “Jess? Does she have long black hair and was she wearing a dress that looked like it would fall off at any moment?”

“That’s her. She managed to get a picture with you and Thomas, that’s how I knew you were there.”

“Does that mean he’s the father?” Rey nodded. “Didn’t think he had it in him.”

“Well she’s not exactly pleased about it. Had to send her home because she wouldn’t stop crying.”

“Not the best situation to find yourself in.”

“No. I just hope Jess doesn’t do anything she’ll come to regret.” Rey sighed and leaned her head against his shoulder. Ben didn’t dare move, didn’t dare breathe. She was so close and he didn’t want them to break apart.

***

Ben and Rey started meeting up for lunch on days when he wasn’t busy. They were making their way through all the local food outlets that had seating rather than just a service counter so they could sit and talk and eat together. Come the spring and the warmer weather they could sit outside and enjoy the sunshine.

“Do you remember ages ago when I asked you what your favourite film was and you said you’d share your opinions about Space Wars way, way, way down the road?”

“Yeees,” Ben said slowly. He was surprised that she had remembered. Of course he had remembered saying that, he remembered every conversation he’d had with Rey.

“Do you think we’re at that point now? I’m not as hyped up by the whole thing anymore. I can be calm and we can have a grown up discussion.” she said sweetly. She was right, they could have a grown up discussion and they had agreed to communicate better.

“I mean you can pretty much guess what I’m going to say because it’s pretty much what I wrote in my letter.” As much as he liked and trusted Rey, Ben found that he couldn’t look at her. He found it easier to talk when he was looking at something else, today it was a plastic fork.

“When I got sent away to school and all the other boys found out my dad was Han Solo, they thought it was so cool. From their point of view it was because he got to be a space pirate, adventurer, the President, secret agent, all things that little boys want to be, but because he was all those things and more, he wasn’t there to be my dad. I just wanted him to be my dad.

“My opinion of him has affected my opinion of his films. My feelings towards Space Wars are the most negative because it was his big break. If he hadn’t have been in it, then he might have been around more.”

Ben sighed and looked at his hand. At some point Rey linked fingers with him. It instantly made him feel better.

“That was very eloquent.” she said kindly.

“Well I’ve been to so many therapy sessions that I can at least vocalise the issue without getting angry or breaking down now.” Ben was of two minds about therapy, sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn’t and it had taken him ages to find someone he was comfortable talking to.

“When I asked you that question you were being super annoying and said your favourite film was ‘The’.”

“Yeah,” Ben leaned back in his chair glad Rey had changed the subject. “It was fun winding you up.”

He had found it funny to annoy her back then, but now he didn’t want to annoy her, he wanted to make her smile.

“Anyway, now that I know you can speak in complete sentences, what is your favourite film?”

“It’s The Byronic Hero.”

“I’ve never seen it, but isn’t it meant to be a girly film?”

“Not really. It’s about love, yes, but it’s more about human nature and exploring what makes a monster and what makes a man that makes it interesting. I’ll show it to you some time.”

“I’d like that.” Ben saw Rey blush slightly at the implication of what he just said. One of the independent cinemas in Coruscant showed The Byronic Hero from time to time, but why wait for that when he had a copy at home?

***

“Have you done it yet?” Hux snuke up on him in the bathroom and made him jump.

“What the? Done what?”

“Asked Rey out. Valentine’s Day is Thursday”

“You said you wouldn’t nag me.” Ben said.

“I’m not nagging, I’m asking.”

“No.” Ben sighed.

“Why not?” Hux sounded exacerbated.

“I just don’t think I could take her rejection again.” Ben turned around and leaned against the sink.

“I don’t think she will Ben.”

“How do you know? You’ve only bumped into her a few times.”

Hux shrugged. “Just a feeling. Come on,” He slapped him on the back. “Time to pull up your big boy pants and ask this girl out.”

Ben didn’t know whether it was Hux’s pep talk or whether he was being bombarded with Valentine’s adverts wherever he went, but he decided that tonight was the night he was going to ask Rey out, to dinner this time, somewhere nice where they could actually talk to each other.

It was Monday night and Ben met up with Rey at their usual spot on the platform. They were both staring straight ahead at an advert for flowers and wine. He wondered what Rey thought of it all. Whether she’d appreciate a grand gesture such as the one being advertised in front of them or the one he was working up the nerve to ask her.

Their train pulled in and they shuffled on as normal. As usual it was crowded and Ben and Rey were pushed up against one another but today it made him feel a bit uncomfortable and hotter than usual. He had to do it, he had to ask her out, the tension was becoming unbearable.

Ben took a deep breath and went for it. “They’re really pushing this holiday, aren’t they?” he said hoping he didn’t sound too nervous.

“Yes I thought that too.” Rey said having another look at the adverts surrounding them.

“I mean, if two people like each other they shouldn’t have to wait for one specific day.”

“I’ve always thought that too.”

“But then again, it might give them the courage to finally say something.” Ben ran his hand through his hair, a nervous tick of his.

“It might, as long as they weren’t putting too much pressure on themselves.”

“Yes, so,” Ben hoped he wasn’t putting too much pressure on himself, but he was glad that he and Rey agreed with one another on his other points.

“Willyouhavedinnerwithmeonthursday?” The words came out all together like he wanted them off his tongue as quickly as possible.

Rey just stood there blinking at him for what felt like a long time, too long really if she actually wanted to go with him.

“No, forget it. It was a stupid idea.” he said quietly. Ben tried to smile, to brush it off as some kind of joke, but he could feel the lump in his throat and the string of tears behind his eyes. He was right, he couldn’t handle another rejection from her.

“No I want to go out with you, I’m just not very good at processing emotions sometimes.” Rey said quickly, holding onto his arm. That helped.

“So you do want to have dinner with me?” he said to check she was genuine.

“Really.” Rey smiled at him and that somehow made everything better.

“So, where are we going?” she said.

Ah, Ben thought. He should have thought about that.

“I’ll let you know.” Ben tried to play it off as coolly as possible, but inside he was panicking about finding a nice place to eat three days before Valentine’s Day.

When he got above ground again, Ben phoned and left a message with the man that was most able to help him. He got a call back much later in the evening.

“Benny! To what do I owe this pleasure?”

“Hey Lando. I need a table for Thursday night.” Ben said ignoring the nickname he didn’t really like.

“You know what Thursday night is right?”

“Of course I do and I need your help so I can treat someone.”

“Do you now?” Lando purred. “I’m sure we can squeeze one more table in for you and your date.”

“Thank you Uncle Lando.”

It was late but Ben felt he couldn’t really wait to tell Rey where they were going.

Ben: I’ve got us a table at Cloud City Lounge at the Bespin Hotel.  
Rey: Oh wow! I need to go shopping, I have nothing to wear.

***

Ben finished getting ready in the executive bathroom in the First Order Financial offices. He had changed into a grey suit and had chosen to wear the pink tie he had gotten for his birthday. He had wanted to wear the red one from Rey but the greasy lasagna stain hadn’t come out which was a shame.

They had decided that Ben would pick her up at half six for her office. It meant that they had to get ready at their respective offices but it was easier than going all the way back home just to come back out into the city.

Ben took his bag and extra clothes down to the car he had hired for the night which was waiting for him outside.

They drove the short distance down the road to the Resistance offices and Ben got out to fetch Rey.

Most people had gone home for the day but the offices were still open while the few stragglers finished up. Ben could see that Rey was waiting for him through the big glass windows of the lobby, he was glad to see she wasn’t on her own.

They locked eyes as soon as he walked in. Rey looked absolutely lovely. The shimmery black jumpsuit she was wearing was so different from anything he had seen her in before and her make up highlighted her features, especially her eyes.

She leaned across to listen to something her shorter, dark haired friend was saying but didn’t break eye contact. Rey was also with the young man who always ran away whenever he saw him and true to form, when he turned around and saw that Ben was making his way over, he jumped and tried to use the short woman as an ineffectual hiding place.

“Hey.” Rey said brightly ignoring whatever her friend was doing as he approached. Once again they didn’t know how to greet each other, so they just did an awkward little shuffle. It felt worse because there was an audience.

Ben didn’t really like meeting new people which is why he didn’t say anything when Rose introduced herself and made some weird comment about Finn and a lint roller, even though he knew he should. Still he had appreciated the fact that she was good enough friends with Rey to help her get ready.

“Ok, don’t let us keep you.” Rose started shooing them towards the door. “Have fun and stay safe, and Rey I want all the details in the morning.”

Rey rolled her eyes at her friend and Ben nearly did too. It reminded him that Hux would probably want all the details in the morning as well.

He felt pleased that Rey liked the car. He wanted to treat her and he wanted the date to go well and he thought that was a good start.

“I’m sorry about Finn.” Rey said.

“It’s ok. He’s not the only one who runs away when they see me.”

“I don’t think you should be proud of that.”

Ben shrugged. He wasn’t really but neither did he think about it. “I’ve been putting people off lately because I’ve been so happy.”

He saw Rey blush even though it was dark and she tried to hide it. But it was true, she did make him happy. When he got into work on Tuesday morning, he had actually said hello to the people who usually stood to the side and stared at their feet when he walked past, and he actually thanked Mitaka properly for his morning coffee. They were all confused. Hux just stood in the doorway of his office with a smug look on his face.

The Bespin Hotel and other places like it were the norm for Ben, having spent his childhood in a former palace and embassies then being sent away to a centuries old boarding school. But he knew that Rey had barely dreamed of going into such places, and he knew by the look on her face that she thought she didn’t belong here, that she was beyond nervous at being turned away by the doormen.

As they climbed the stairs to the front door, Ben took Rey’s hand. He wasn’t the best with words but he had to let her know that she wasn’t the abandoned little girl anymore, she was a smart and successful woman, that she belonged there as much as anyone else and that he wanted her at his side.

Rey looked at him with a dreamy look on her face and they walked through the front door to the hotel. The doormen noticing nothing amiss held the doors open for them.

It was nice being in the hotel with Rey. As it was her first time there, she spent time looking around, marvelling at the decor. Ben enjoyed watching her, it was like he was seeing it for the first time after taking the place for granted for so long.

Cloud City Lounge was busy when they got up there just like Lando had implied. A couple of the women waiting did not look happy, maybe their partners had brought them here on the off chance they could get a table without a reservation.

Ben gave his name to the hostess, just like Lando told him to, then she disappeared behind a staff only door.

“Where is she going?” He could hear the slight panic in Rey’s voice. “You did make a reservation right?”

“Sort of.” She frowned at him. He knew why she would be concerned. “Don’t worry, we’ll get our dinner. I may have to suffer a bit of embarrassment though.”

“Why would you -” Rey started to ask but was interrupted by Lando walking out of the staff only area with his arms open wide.

“There’s my little star fighter.” Lando announced loud enough for the whole room to hear and gave him a big hug.

“Please don’t call me that Lando.” It was another nickname he didn’t like.

“Nonsense. No matter how big you get, you’ll always be my little star fighter.” Ben rolled his eyes.

“Speaking of which.” Lando turned to Rey and turned his charm factor all the way up. “Who do we have here?”

“I’m Rey.” Ben could hear a slight giggle in her voice.

Ben couldn’t help but be a bit jealous of Lando. He had such an easy way with everyone, and could make them fall in love with him, and now he was trying it out with Rey.

“And what, may I ask, are you having dinner with my nephew?”

“Lando, stop it.” Ben said sternly, trying to keep his anger in check after seeing him kiss Rey’s hand.

“What?” Lando said playing innocent. “It’s been such a long time since you’ve brought a girl around, I’m curious.”

“Then stop trying to scare her off.”

“I’m not scared.” Rey said as she linked arms with him. He didn’t know how, but he instantly felt better when she did.

“Very well.” Lando said smoothly, unperturbed by anything. “Ellie, show my nephew and his date to my favourite table, and have them bring out a bottle of Champagne.”

As they followed Ellie into the restaurant, Ben could hear the angry mumblings of the people still waiting who had witnessed the whole thing. 

Ben had thought he had made the perfect choice by coming to Cloud City Lounge. It was popular, it had award winning food and there was a good atmosphere and spectacular views, especially at night. Lando had given them a table next to the window set slightly apart from the others with the best views in the place.

But there were a couple of problems he had forgotten to take into account.

The first was Rey’s reaction to the prices. He should have realised she may have been taken aback by them. The cost of things was something he had never had to worry about but she had. Ben assured her it was fine, that she could have whatever she wanted, it was his treat.

The second was Uncle Lando being embarrassing. Ben didn’t know why he hadn’t anticipated him showing Rey pictures of him when he was younger, but that’s what he did. Lando said he was just there to help, being a good wingman, but Ben couldn’t believe it. At least Rey thought he was cute and Lando only appeared at their table once.

Ben paid more attention to Rey during their meal than he did the food. He liked watching her enjoy her food and he always ordered the steak anyway. Though they did exchange a small bite of each other's meals and he thought her pork belly was pretty good too.

“So, what’s the best thing about having your parents’ friends being your aunts and uncles?” Rey asked when they were waiting for their desserts. They were on the last of the Champagne Lando had gifted them and had to keep telling the over eager servers that they really didn’t want any more. They still had to go to work in the morning.

“They get you presents and let you get away with things your parents don’t.” Ben was careful not to sound too boastful about something Rey never had.

“And now you do the same to your Godchildren.”

“Of course. Though the one thing that they did to me, that I didn’t realise at the time, is my favourite thing about being an uncle. Looking after someone else’s kids means you get to have all the fun parts of parenting without any of the hard work.”

“What do you mean?”

“When they’re having a tantrum, I can just walk away. Or my personal favourite, leaving after I’ve just hyped them up on sugar.”

He grinned and Rey laughed. “You’re so mean.”

Their desserts arrived. Ben got his favourite, a chocolate lava cake and Rey got a lemon cheesecake. Again they tried each others.

“Umm. Yours is so much better than mine.” Rey moaned.

“Of course. You can never go wrong with ordering a chocolate dessert. It’s pudding, what’s the point of trying to be healthy?”

“You’re right.” she said leaning over. “Let me get another bite.”

“No.” Ben playfully batted away her spoon.

Ben hid his smile with his cup when Rey pulled a face after taking a sip of her after dinner coffee. Admittedly, the beverage was very bitter, but he had taught himself to appreciate it. He couldn’t imagine someone as sweet as Rey liking it.

Ben asked for the bill then looked around the restaurant. It must have been quite late as there were now empty tables.

The waiter brought over the leather wallet with the cheque inside and left them to look it over. Ben wasn’t very impressed by what he found inside.

“What’s wrong?” Rey asked. He handed her the wallet so she could see for herself.

He couldn’t believe that Lando had done that. Admittedly. Paying for the meal for them was very nice. He didn’t have to but it was still nice. But slipping them a room key was too much.

Rey looked a bit horrified when she saw it. “I’m not … we’re not -”

“I know we’re not.” Ben said. That wasn’t what he was after right now. He just wanted to make Rey his girlfriend. “Besides the obvious, this is the key to Lando’s private suite and I don’t know what he’s been up to in there and I’m pretty sure that’s where Hux and Gwen conceived Alfie last year.”

“Gross.” At least Rey agreed with him.

They returned the cheque book, got their coats and went and stood out on the balcony to take one last look out over the city.

“I had a really great time tonight.” Rey said, huddling a bit closer to him for warmth and hinting for him to wrap his arm around her. He was happy to oblige.

“Yeah me too.”

“Does this mean I get to call you my boyfriend?” Ben smiled. He had been about to ask the same thing.

“Well as you’ve already planned our next date, I think you’d ought to.” he replied happily. Dex’s Diner here they come!

“We need to think of other places we can go and things to do. Just try and make them a bit cheaper than this place.”

Ben laughed. “Technically this place was very cheap.”

“Yes but we really shouldn’t rely on nepotism.”

She was right but he didn’t use his connections very often. He stayed in most of the time, but now he had someone to go out with.

He leaned down and kissed her gently on the forehead. He had wanted to kiss her properly but didn’t know if that would scare her off or not.

To his surprise, Rey gave him the briefest of kisses on the lips as he was pulling away. It may have been brief but it left him speechless. Then she kissed him again.

This time he kissed her back, their lips moving smoothly against each other. Rey tasted of coffee with a hint of lemon. He didn’t know how long they had been standing there, but he didn’t care. It was so nice to hold someone again.

“Are you sure you two kids don’t want my room key?”

The interruption made them jump apart.

“Go away Lando.”

They left soon after. The car Ben hired would drop Rey off first even though she lived further out of the city.

“I’ve never seen how to get back to my house above ground. I’ve always gone into the city on the tube.” Rey was saying as she looked out the window, not that they were passing anything that interesting. They were holding hands over the armrest in the middle seat.

“So the tube’s never not been running? That’s lucky, to have a nearly six month span with no breakdowns at rush hour.”

“Yes but I do have a back up plan just in case.”

Ben had never been to this part of Coruscant, there wasn’t anything there that would make him want to visit if it wasn’t for Rey.

She lived on a street that was only a couple of minutes away from the underground station, full of nearly identical semi-detached houses. They hadn’t really talked about where they both lived, but he presumed she rented a room in one of them. He didn’t want to think about how small that space must be. But maybe Rey was pleased with it, it being a place that was all hers. She had been proud of the bookshelf and bedside table she’d bought after all.

The driver pulled up a short way down the road, pulling into the curb as much as possible as there were cars parked up all down the other side of the road.

“So.” Rey looked over at him shyly unsure of what they should do now.

“May I walk you to your front door?” Ben asked thinking back on the etiquette lessons he was forced to have when he was younger.

Rey nodded and they got out of the car. It wasn’t a very long walk as the driver had literally parked outside the house where Rey lived but Ben still had to navigate tree roots, cracked paving slabs and wheelie bins.

“Is that all you had with you?” He asked when he noticed she was only carrying a black clutch.

“If I’d realised you were getting a car, I might have gone and got my stuff but that would have meant leaving you alone with Finn and Rose. But it doesn’t matter, I was planning on bringing it all home tomorrow anyway.”

Ben was actually glad about that. Rose would probably be alright but Finn had already made up his mind about him.

“So, how do people finish their dates?” Rey asked fiddling with the strap of her bag. “The only way I can think of from movies and stuff is inviting you in, but that implies something that I don’t really want, yet.” she trailed off and looked at her shoes.

“It’s alright.” Ben said. “We can work up to that, I’m just glad that you’re my girlfriend.”

Rey gave ham a bashful smile. She was standing on the front step of the house and with the extra height from her shoes, she was as tall as he was.

“We can just kiss and say goodnight and that is fine by me.”

And so they did.

***

Ben didn’t set his alarm for his usual five am start since he was out so late the previous night. So he woke up at seven feeling lighter than he had in ages all thanks to Rey. His sweet, beautiful Rey.

She must have just gotten up as well as she sent him a good morning text with lots of heart emojis.

Ben had never used an emoji before in his life but he scrolled through them and found a kissy face to send back to Rey.

He was in such a good mood that he actually whistled as he walked into work. People really didn’t know what to make of him now.

Ben had only just got into his office, hadn’t even taken his coat off, when Hux appeared.

“Somebody seems happy.” Ben gave him a dopey grin in response.

“So what happened? Give me details.” Hux said eagerly sitting himself down.

Ben shook his head. “We had dinner, we talked, she tried to steal my chocolate cake, we kissed on the balcony, then I dropped her off and went home.”

“That's it?” Hux said looking a bit unimpressed. “I have three kids and no babysitter, we did nothing last night. I need to live vicariously through you, and all you did was kiss! Didn’t Lando give you a room key?”

“Yes.” Ben said thinking his best friend was weird for being overly interested in his sex life. “But unlike you, I’m never going to take him up on the offer.”

Ben had got Hux and Gwen a table at Cloud City Lounge for their wedding anniversary, and for whatever reason Lando had given them a room for the night. None of that was planned so not only did they have to do the walk of shame in the morning, but Alfie was born nine months later.

Hux slumped in his chair. “God that was the last time we had decent sex and I don’t remember half of it.”

“If you’re that repressed, go watch porn in the bathroom.” Ben said as a joke. Hux was genuinely thinking about it.

***

“Hey.” Rey said shyly when he met up with her at lunchtime.

“Hey.” Ben said back. He suddenly didn’t know how to act. What he really wanted to do was sweep her up into a hug and gave her a kiss, but that wasn’t the easiest thing to do with all the people around them.

Neither of them really knew how to act. They kept staring at the other, turning away with a stupid grin on their face when they got caught. When they sat eating their lunch, they kept sliding up to each other. Usually Ben hated any invasion of his personal space, but with Rey he didn’t mind.

They had literally just started going out and they were already acting all cutesy. He always pulled a face at the couples he saw doing that but now he was. Maybe he had just been jealous that they had something he didn’t, because it felt pretty nice.

They held hands all the way back to the offices. They got to the First Order Financial building first and Ben pulled Rey into a kiss. He had intended it to be a quick one as they both had to get back to work but they stayed intertwined as the world moved around them.

Ben reluctantly pulled away when he felt his phone go off in his pocket. He snorted when he read the message.

“Hux says get a room.” he told Rey.

“What, he can see us?” Rey said slightly embarrassed and looked up at the tall, glass panelled building in front of them.

“Apparently so.” Ben looked up as well. He wondered how easy it was to make him out from ten stories up.

His phone buzzed again. “Now he says he’s not the only one watching.”

“I should go then.” Rey said laughing.

“Yes, I’ll see you tonight.” He said and leaned down to give her a kiss. This time it was a quick one.

His phone went off again. “Now he says that Snoke has seen and you know how he gets when anyone is happy.”

“Bye Ben,” Rey said and started to walk away, but she kept looking over her shoulder to look at him watching her leave. She nearly walked into a lamp post.

Ben sighed and steeled himself to go back into the office and face the people who had just been watching him out the window. His reputation was ruined.


	6. March

Ben had just gotten in from work when his phone rang. He sighed when he saw the caller ID. He wasn’t looking forward to this.

“Hello Mother.” Ben answered trying to keep his tone neutral.

“What’s this I hear about you having a girlfriend?” Leia said skipping the pleasantries.

“I’m fine Mother, how are you?” he said sarcastically.

“Don’t take that tone with me and tell me why I had to find out about this Rey girl from Lando.”

Ben suspected that Lando wouldn’t have been able to keep his mouth shut. Still it had been two weeks since Valentine’s Day, he’d held out longer than Ben thought he would.

“Because Lando can’t keep a secret.” he said, collapsing onto the sofa.

“That’s not the point Ben. Why didn’t you tell me?”

He nearly laughed. Did his mother not realise that their relationship wasn’t the best, that he didn’t feel like he could tell her things like this? But he didn’t say that.

“It’s literally only been a couple of weeks. We’re still trying to figure things out.” That was a bit more of a mature response.

“Very well.” Leia conceded. “You can at least tell me about her. Lando couldn’t provide me with many details apart from she was young and slim.”

There was probably more to Lando’s description but Ben was thankful Leia had chosen to omit it.

“Her name is Rey. She’s twenty two and that’s all you’re getting. Bye Mother.” Ben quickly hung up and switched off his phone so he wouldn’t have to hear from her again tonight.

He knew he would have to talk to her eventually, but not tonight. Right now he wanted it to be just him and Rey. She would meet his parents at some point, he just didn’t want it to be too soon.

***

That wish was broken just two days later when Leia invited herself to the Resistance offices. The fact that she was there meant that Holdo had also come clean to Leia. Ben told Rey to run away when she informed him that his mother was there, but it was apparently too late for that.

There was nothing Ben could do but sit in his office and wonder what was going on down the road.

After what he thought was a long enough period of time, Ben was about to text Rey to see what was going on, when Mitaka rang him on the intercom.

“Sir your mother is here to see you.” Ben could hear the quiver in his assistant’s voice.

“What? Tell reception I’m busy and to send her away.”

“I can’t sir. She’s already on her way up.”

Ben cursed. He couldn’t even follow his own advice and run away. He was trapped in his office.

“She’s coming out of the lift now sir.” his assistant was still on the line.

“Yes thank you Mitaka.” Ben gritted his teeth and got up so he could hopefully get his mother to leave quickly.

“What are you doing here Mother?” he said quietly trying to shoo Leia back the way she came.

“Ah, so you are acknowledging that I exist now?” she said loud enough for the rest of the open plan office to hear and many people turned to watch.

“Can we not do this now? I’m at work.” Ben didn’t want to be the subject of office gossip, again.

“Well if you answered my phone calls I wouldn’t be here. I don’t like this place.” She looked around, scrutinising the whole floor. “Come on.”

She walked off with purpose towards his private office leaving him to trail after her.

“Really Mother you didn’t have to do this.” Ben said after he closed the door to stop any eavesdropping, primarily from Hux who had popped out of his office at the first sound of a commotion.

“Yes, I did.” Leia said crossing her arms, at least she was a bit quieter now. “All I wanted was to know about your girlfriend, but you hung up on me.”

Ben knew he should apologise for that but he really didn’t want to.

“And what makes it worse is everyone else already knew about her.”

“Not everyone Mother.”

“Well Lando knew.”

“Obviously Mother, we were at his restaurant.” Ben said but Leia carried on like he hadn’t said anything.

“And so I was venting my frustrations to your father. I know he never actually listens to me, but then he pipes up saying he knows who Rey is.”

“He knows nothing except that her name is spelt with an e and she likes Texas Jack.”

“Then I had to go and bitch about this whole thing to Amilyn and what do you know? She knows about you and Rey as well. So excuse me for feeling a bit left out and hurt.” Leia sighed and leaned back in her chair.

“Well you’ve met her now.” Ben said unmoved by his mother’s words. “What do you think?”

“So far I approve.” Leia said with a small smile. “She seems like a very sweet and genuine person, unlike your last one.”

“I thought we promised never to mention her ever again.” Ben had no desire to recall his last girlfriend. Things had ended badly and it didn’t reflect well on any of them.

“Quite right.” Leia said getting up. “This is only going to be a quick visit. I’m going to have to go see Mr Jinn.”

“Why? He’s a criminal lawyer.” If she was finally going to divorce his father she wouldn't be going to Mr Jinn.

“I don’t need his services. It’s a social call and not a pleasant one. It seems his son Thomas got one of the girls Rey works with pregnant and now she can’t get hold of him.”

“Yes, Rey told me about that.”

“Then why didn’t you offer to help? You know Thomas.”

“That suggests I care. Besides, I would rather stick pins in my eyes than willingly seek out Thomas Thanisson.”

Leia rolled her eyes. “Whatever. I’ll go sort out this mess. But before I go, the main reason I came here was to tell you that you are taking me out for afternoon tea on Mother’s Day.”

“Right, I’ll get on that.” Ben said half heartedly at the prospect. At least she had told him what she wanted.

“No need dear. It’s already booked. I’ll have Kaydel send you the details. You just need to bring Rey to Canto Bight so I can meet her properly.”

Ben was mentally cursing his mother for taking things into her own hands.

“Fine.” he said, pinching the bridge of his nose. “But isn’t Canto Bight a casino?”

“Yes but they do afternoon tea in one of the function rooms.” Leia finally started making her way towards the door. “Anyway, I’ll be off now. Let you get back to whatever it is you’re meant to be doing.”

She waved a hand vaguely at his desk. Ben knew she didn’t like him working at First Order Financial, she would have much preferred it if he had taken the job Amilyn had offered him years ago, but that was exactly the reason why he didn’t want to work at Resistance Business Solutions in the first place.

Instead of leaving straight away, Leia stopped at Mitaka’s desk to ask after his puppy.

“How does she know you have a dog?” Ben asked his assistant when the lift doors finally closed on Leia. He didn’t know about any dog.

“Well sir. You said not to put through any calls from your mother, so I sit and talk to her.” His eyes darted everywhere, looking anywhere but at Ben.

He hummed disapprovingly and went back into his office.

Less than ten minutes was more than long enough with his mother and he felt drained. He couldn’t wait to finish work and see Rey again. Hugging her made everything better.

***

Ben headed to the Alderaan Embassy after lunch on Saturday after spending a lovely morning playing mini golf with Rey and having a nice walk around the city. They had decided that it would be best if Ben told Leia about Rey’s past in advance so that nothing awful would come up and make things awkward when they had afternoon tea together.

He found her eating her own lunch in the dining room going over some notes with Kaydel.

“Ben?” Leia was genuinely and pleasantly surprised to see him. “What are you going here? You usually ignore me when I’m in town.”

“Yeah well.” Ben didn’t really have an explanation apart from he thought it best to say what he had to say face to face and he wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible. “I wanted to talk to you about Rey.”

“Oh good.” She gestured for Kaydel to leave. “You actually want to talk now.”

“That’s what happens when you don’t try and catch people off guard.” Ben said. “And I’ve talked to Rey and we decided there are a few things I should tell you about now that she doesn’t really want brought up.”

“Oh.” Leia put down her knife and fork to listen.

“Rey grew up in Jakku.” Ben started.

“Poor lamb. Still she’s done well for herself getting a job here in Coruscant and, not to be biased, but at Resistance no less.”

“Yes I’m proud of her too, but there were other obstacles as well. You see her parents died in a drink driving accident when she was a baby and she was put into care.”

“People can be so selfish.” Leia said, frowning.

“They were the ones drinking.”

“Oh,”

“So she grew up in care and no one wanted to adopt her and yeah,” Ben trailed off, not sure how he should end it. “So Rey would really appreciate it if you didn’t bring any of that up.”

“But we have something in common. My parents died when I was a baby too.”

“Yes but you got adopted straight away. By a queen no less.”

“Point taken.” Leia conceded. “How is she by the way?”

“She’s a little nervous to meet you actually. She doesn’t really know how she should act around someone’s mother.”

“I have no experience either really. I never met Han’s parents, he never met mine, but I’m sure it will be fine. As I said she seems very nice.” She patted his hand where it lay on the table.

“I was kind of afraid that you’d try and find something wrong with her. Say that she was too young for me.”

“I don’t try and find the bad in people Ben, and I don’t think she’s too young for you. There’s ten years between your father and I. It’s not like she’s still in school. Rey is a fully grown woman with a job and living independently.”

Ben allowed himself to smile a little. It felt nice to have his mother on his side for once.

“I have been wondering though, is her real name Rey?” Leia asked.

“It’s short for Rachel.”

“Ah, that makes sense. She probably gets asked that all the time.”

When Ben left he couldn’t believe it. He had had a whole conversation with his mother about a girl and not once had she said anything about marriage or babies. He knew that bubble would burst soon enough though, so he’d just have to enjoy this respite while it lasted.

***

“So is there any particular reason you’re spending your Sunday with us instead of your girlfriend?” Gwen asked when he was at their house.

Ben didn’t really have an answer. It was just a habit at this point that he would spend some of his weekend with his friends and their children.

“Don’t you want me here?” he said jokingly.

“No, it’s not that.” she said defensively. “It’s just I would have thought that Rey would be much more fun and interesting to hang out with than us.”

The three of them were currently sat in the kitchen with mugs of tea while the children were in the playroom and for once, at least for the time being, were actually playing nicely together.

“You’re not that boring.” Ben said.

“Yes we are.” Hux said. “We literally do nothing for ourselves, it’s all for the children.”

“I know,” Gwen said, snapping her fingers. “We should go on a double date.”

“Yes,” said Hux.

“What?” said Ben at the same time.

“It’s perfect. The four of us get to do something grown-up together without the children, and I haven't actually met Rey yet.” Gwen said.

“Neither have I really.” Hux said. “Only exchanged a few words here and there.”

They both looked at Ben expectantly. “I don’t know. She’s already having to meet my mother, and she’s a bit nervous about that.”

“It’ll be fine,” Gwen said. “We’re friends. There’s not the same expectations as there is with parents. I take it she’s not a stuck up, self absorbed bitch like last time.”

“What’s a bitch?” They all froze in horror and slowly turned to find Alice standing there, staring at them with big innocent eyes.

As it was Gwen’s fault, she had to smooth it over. “It’s, er, it’s not a very nice way to describe someone. I don’t want to hear you saying it.”

“But you said it Mummy.”

“I know, but you shouldn’t. It’s a grown up word.”

“Like the words Daddy says when his back hurts?” asked Alice.

“Yes, just like those.” Gwen said.

“Ok. Can I have a biscuit?”

Gwen gave Alice a biscuit from the packet sat on the table and the little girl skipped back into the playroom.

“What are the chances you get called into nursery next week because she’s said it?” Hux asked, hiding his grin behind his mug. Ben was trying not to smile too.

“Shut up.” Gwen mumbled into her own mug.

Before they could get back to what they were talking about, Bertie stormed into the room.

“It’s not fair that Alice gets a biscuit.”

Gwen sighed and gave him a biscuit. As Bertie went back into the playroom, Alfie, who had also seen that his sister had a biscuit, was crawling into the kitchen to get one as well.

“Fine, you can all have a biscuit.” Gwen said scooping up her baby and giving him a big kiss.

“Anyway back to Rey not being a witch.”

“Why does everyone keep bringing Her up?” Ben said rather mift.

“I’m sorry Ben. I know it was years ago, but that was the last time you had a proper girlfriend.”

“And I mean it didn’t matter too much back then,” Hux cut in. “But now that we have the children it would be good for us all to get along.”

“You’re right.” Ben said. He wanted them to get along as that meant he wouldn’t have to stop hanging out with his friends. “I’ll ask her.”

“Great.” Gwen said. “Where shall we go?”

“If we go anywhere, you’ll have to get a babysitter.” Ben said and the others groaned. They hated getting babysitters. More precisely, Alice hated any babysitter who wasn’t Ben or her grandparents and made life difficult for them. They still had no idea what she had done to poor Magda but the woman wouldn’t even talk to them now.

“We could have dinner here.” Hux suggested. “Cook something and send the kids to bed early.”

“Somehow make them stay upstairs.” Gwen said.

“Short of recalling your parents back from their holiday, it’s the best that I’ve got.”

“Fine,” Gwen said. “Ben, you ask Rey, we’ll sort everything else out.”

***

Ben woke up on Mother’s Day with a high level of anxiety. He didn’t know why though. He had been telling himself all week that it would be fine, but his inner voice was never that comforting. Maybe he was just nervous for Rey. He really wanted Leia to like her, though she probably would, but Ben couldn’t shake the feeling they were meeting too soon.

Showering and shaving relaxed him a bit and before he got dressed, he looked at his phone to see if the flowers he’d ordered had been delivered to Leia yet.

There was also a picture message from Hux on their group chat showing their kitchen in a right state.

Ben: What happened?  
Hux: Alice and Bertie decided to try and make breakfast by themselves and somehow set the smoke alarm off.  
Ben: Are they OK?  
Hux: They’re fine and the kitchen will be fine once we clean it but all the windows are open and I’ve already been out to buy a whole load of air fresheners and a new toaster.  
Ben: As long as everyone’s fine that’s the main thing.  
Hux: Yeah I may laugh about it tomorrow but right now I’m a bit pissed.

Ben knew Hux was only angry because he thought his children were in danger but it was a little funny that they had managed to set fire to the toaster.

Ben had hired a car for the day so that he could go and pick Rey up from the tube station and take the most direct route to Canto Bight.

He decided to wear a grey suit as it made him look less severe, and a purple tie because it was Leia’s favourite colour. When Rey appeared from the station, he saw that she had also chosen to wear grey.

“Hey we match.” she said as she bounded up to him. He loved how excited she got over the small things.

“Mother’s going to have a field day about that for sure.” Ben said.

“I think we look cute.”

“Exactly.” Leia would probably think they had planned it and were coordinating on purpose. “Come on, let’s get this over with.”

Ben thought Rey was keeping it together more than he was, trying to keep him in a conversation to stop him from retreating into himself. It worked quite well as he was about to make her laugh with an impression of his mother when he told her about the stuff about Rey’s past had gone down with Leia and they reaffirmed that they would try and steer the conversation away from themselves.

Ben was feeling better but the sense of dread returned as they pulled up at the gates of the casino and he saw that there were paparazzi lined up along the fence.

“Are they here for your mother?” Rey asked.

“No. Mother never has this many following her. Someone else must be here.” he said but he was thinking of other things. He didn’t like being watched, having to look over his shoulder when he was just trying to go about his daily life. That’s why he had chosen to move to Coruscant in the first place. In Alderaan he was the son of Princess Leia, in Coruscant he was just another face in the crowd and people only looked at him if they were looking at someone he was with, which is what happened when he got pictured with Maisie Ripley.

That’s why he sent a dirty look at the photographers as he ushered Rey inside.

Canto Bight Casino was just as posh as the Bespin Hotel, but somehow felt more relaxed, despite the high stakes gambling that was going on in another room. At least Rey felt more relaxed as Ben held her hand as they walked through the lobby, which in turn helped calm him down.

But then Leia’s assistant Kaydel showed up.

“Just so you’re not totally blind sided, your father’s here.” He tightened his grip on Rey’s hand. Kaydel continued talking but Ben zoned out, the blood draining from his face. It was just supposed to be Leia. :He was prepared to have tea with his mother, not with both his parents.

“Ben?” Rey said gently, bringing him back. Kay had gone and it was just the two of them again.

“I didn’t think we’d have to face both of them.” he said. It wasn’t fair, not on him nor Rey, for Han to just show up.

“It’ll be OK.” she said, giving him a side hug. “We can hold hands under the table for support.”

Ben looked at her and he realised that even though she was younger than he was, she was more mature in many ways. He would do this for her, be a better man for her, because he wanted her to be part of his family.

“OK, let’s get this over with.” he said for the second time that day.

His parents weren’t hard to spot due to the fact that Han was wearing a beat up leather jacket that was definitely against the dress code. Ben could have wondered how he was getting away with it but he already knew the answer; Han Solo could talk his way out of and around most things.

Ben decided to try and ignore his father. After all, today wasn’t about him.

“Hello Mother.” he said, leaning down to give Leia a kiss. He wished she wasn’t quite so short, they must look ridiculous.

“Hello darling.” She then turned her attention to Rey. “It’s wonderful to see you again Rey.”

Leia then surprised Rey by giving her a hug. Her eyes darted over to Ben as she didn’t really know what to do.

“Rey this is my husband Han.”

Ben had kind of been dreading Rey meeting his father since she was a fan. Any time he thought he’d made a friend when he was younger, it turned out they were more interested in trying to meet his father than him. But he had more faith in Rey.

“So you’re the Rey I signed those books for. I was informed that I spelt your name wrong.” Han sent Ben a look.

“It’s fine. I’m used to people spelling it with an a.” Rey said sweetly.

“Why are you here?” Ben asked, going against his own advice to ignore Han.

“I wasn’t going to, but then your mother said you were bringing a girl along so I had to meet her, especially because, rumour has it, we might actually like this one.”

Rey smiled at Ben but he was too busy glaring at his father to let that make him feel better. Didn’t anyone have anything better to talk about than him having a girlfriend? And why did they have to keep alluding to Her?

Before anyone could say anything else, their tea arrived along with a tower of fancy little sandwiches and cakes.

“Can we also have some Champagne for the table?” Leia asked the waiter.

“Of course ma’am.” and he scurried off to fulfil the order.

“I’d much prefer whiskey.” Han grumbled and Leia shushed him.

“Don’t I get a say in this?” Ben asked. He was the one paying after all.

“Don’t you want to treat your dear old mum?” Leia said sweetly. “Thank you for the flowers by the way.”

“You're welcome,” he said, then ate a salmon sandwich in one bite.

Rey sat and talked about Texas Jack and Space Wars with Han for a bit. Ben didn’t really care about that topic of conversation but at least it wasn’t anything personal.

Then Leia asked after Rey’s friend Jess who was having Thomas Thanisson’s baby, something he really didn’t care about.

At least she then asked after Alice, Bertie and Alfie and he told them about the toaster fire.

The way Leia wistfully talked about them suggested to Ben that she wished she could spend more time with them or more likely, wished they were her grandchildren.

“Have you met the children yet Rey?” Leia asked.

“No I haven’t but I’ve bumped into Hux himself a couple of times.” Rey said and Ben could see her eyeing up the cakes.

“When you do, keep an eye on the girl.” Han said making it sound like a warning.

“Why?” Rey asked, sending a worried look in Ben’s direction.

“There’s nothing wrong with Alice.” Ben said.

“You only say that because she has you wrapped around her little finger.”

“She does not.”

“Rey, when you meet her, tell me which one of us is right.” Han said.

Ben shook his head. Alice was a perfectly normal, sweet little girl. She had tantrums, but what three year old didn’t. 

“Rey dear, you haven’t touched your Champagne. Is there a reason behind it? Are you well?” Leia said almost gleefully.

“Mother don’t” Ben hissed at her. Of course to Leia there was only one reason why a woman wouldn't be drinking and she wouldn’t have put it together that the reason Rey didn’t really drink was because of what happened to her parents.

“It’s OK, I’m not much of a drinker, especially during the day.” Rey said. “Do you want it? It being Mother’s Day and all.”

All things considered it didn’t go too badly apart from Rey vaguely implying his parents were alcoholics. She wasn’t wrong but still.

They hadn’t succeeded in keeping the conversation away from the topic of children and babies but at least they were talking about other people’s children and not their own. Ben just chalked it up to the nature of the day; you couldn’t be a mother without a child of some sort. But then as they were on their way home, Rey asked him whether he wanted children.

“We don’t have to have this conversation now. This relationship is still so new.” he said. They hadn’t even had any alone time yet. He was waiting for Rey to be ready to take the next step.

“I know, and we obviously don’t know whether this is going to last.” Ben was going to say that he wanted it to last but she stopped him. “But this is important to some people so I thought I should let you know now that I don’t see myself having babies for a very long time.”

“Why not?” he said trying to keep the emotion out of his face. Rey thought this was important and ultimately it was her decision, so he needed to hear her out.

“I guess I don’t feel very maternal. Maybe that’s because I grew up without a mother, maybe not, but it takes me a while to let people into my life for fear they’ll leave me if I get too attached and knowing that this little creature is reliant on me is a lot.

Ben squeezed her hand. What she’d said made some sense to him. He did admit that he did want children, a family, so he could correct the mistakes his parents made, but he could wait. He’d rather have the right woman by his side than put her in a position she wasn’t comfortable with, despite what his mother wanted.

Plus, he had a feeling his parents would be better as grandparents and he couldn’t stand the thought of being jealous of his own child.

They sat in the back of the car and hugged each other as best they could with their seatbelts on.

“There.” Rey said. “Serious discussion about our future; check. We’re getting good at this communication thing.”

***

“Have you actually asked Rey if she wants to have dinner with us?” Hux said as they were leaving the meeting before lunch. Ben hadn’t really been paying attention to the last part, already checked out and looking forward to having lunch with Rey.

“Not yet, I was waiting to see how meeting my parents went first.”

“Why does it take you weeks to ask this girl anything?” Hux said, shaking his head. “I thought you said you were just having tea with your mother.”

“We were but then my dad decided to come too.”

“Did you behave?” he said with a raised eyebrow.

Ben shrugged. “Reasonably.”

“Good. So when you get back from lunch, I want to know if you’re coming round for dinner this weekend, unless you have other plans then we can change the date.”

Ben wondered whether Rey would actually want to meet Bertie, Alice and Alfie considering her views on motherhood, but that was a worry for another time. Just having dinner with Hux and Gwen would be an easier first step as long as she agreed.

Luckily, Rey agreed to the dinner but it seemed that he had also agreed to have dinner with her friends at some point.

***

Ben waited at his tube station for the train Rey was on to come through. They still hadn’t worked out how to time it perfectly so he wasn’t hanging around for ages but it seemed like there were too many variables at play, so Ben watched a few trains go past before he saw Rey waving at him through the carriage window.

The train wasn’t too busy so he sat down next to her while she put her book away.

“What are you reading?” Ben asked.

“The last of the Texas Jack books you gave me.” Rey replied.

“Is it any good?”

“Pretty good. One thing I like about these over all the Space Wars books I’ve been reading is that Jack is always the main character whereas all the Space Wars books have different characters, many of which should actually be in the films if you think about it but aren’t. But you don’t care about that do you?”

“Maybe not, but I like listening to you talk about things you like.” She smiled softly at him and he gently stroked her cheek. “How are you feeling anyway?”

“Alright I guess.” Rey shrugged. “There’s probably nothing to worry about. I mean they like you and you like me so why shouldn’t they like me? There shouldn’t be as much pressure meeting friends as there is meeting parents, right?”

“Rey,” She looked at him. “You’re rambling.”

“Sorry. I guess I am a bit nervous.” she said, picking at her nails. “And hungry.”

He gave her a reassuring smile. “It’s OK, they won’t bite. Come on, we have to change train lines here.”

He took her hand and led her through the maze passages so they could change tube lines and get a train that would take them out to the east of the city. It being a central Coruscant station, the train was much busier, but it began to empty once they started heading further out of the city.

It wasn’t a long walk from the station to Hux’s house. The evening was mild and dry making it a pleasant walk.

“Wow. They live here?” Rey asked staring up at the house Ben had brought her to. He nodded. “It's like being in Sherry Bobbins.”

That made him laugh, but he could see why the area would remind her of the classic children’s movie with the magic nanny.

He rang the doorbell and before the front door could be opened, they could hear the sound of muffled shouting from the other side.

“No I told you, Mummy and Daddy are having friends over and if you don’t stay upstairs, you’re not going to get your glitter magic unicorn.” Hux was saying, then there was the sound of what must have been Alice storming up the stairs. Ben found it quite funny and it seemed they had found a way to keep the children upstairs after all.

“Ben, Rey good evening. Come on in.” Hux said when he opened the door doing his best to mask his frustration.

They went inside and took off their shoes and coats. Ben went straight through to the kitchen just like he usually did when he was there but realised Rey wasn’t following him. He looked back down the hallway to see that she was looking at all the photos on the wall.

“Rey?” he called after her.

“Sorry. I got distracted by all the pictures.” she said and Ben could understand why, they intrigued him too. It was nice to see what a normal family looked like.

Rey joined them in the kitchen and Ben suddenly realised that she was much shorter than the three of them. She had no doubt noticed so he wouldn’t point it out, not even to tease her. At least not now while she was on edge.

“Anyway, Rey. You’ve met Hux a couple of times before, and this is his wife Gwen.” He introduced them and they shook hands.

“So good to finally meet you.” Gwen said. “You know we were beginning to wonder whether Benny Boy would ever get another girlfriend.” She gave him a playfully punch.

“Thanks Gwen.” Ben said through gritted teeth, partially because it kind of hurt and partially because she had alluded to Her again.

“Drinks!” Hux piped up to change the subject to alcohol as usual. “Let’s have a drink. Been waiting all evening for you to arrive so we can have a drink.”

The reason being that they’d tried to clean the house and put all the toys away, the children had had other ideas and on top of that, Alfie wasn’t very well. So even though it was meant to be a children free evening, he would probably be joining them at some point.

Rey had juice while the rest of them had red wine that went well with the delicious smelling roast beef.

“What happened to all that Toniray wine I got you for Christmas?” Ben asked when they were all sat down with a plate of food in front of them.

“Ben. Come on,” Hux said. “You only bought us twelve bottles and it’s been more than twelve weeks since Christmas.”

“It went ages ago.” Gwen finished up that thought.

“What’s Toniray wine?” Rey asked.

“It’s a wine you can only get in Alderaan.” Ben said.

“And it’s the best.” Gwen said. “Shame they don’t export it. That would be a nice little trip for you to take.”

“What, to go get you more wine?” Ben said jokingly.

“No,” Gwen said leaning across the table to hit him. “I mean that it might be nice to take Rey away and show her where you grow up.”

“That would be nice.” Rey said, looking at Ben. “As long as you don’t expect me to return the favour.”

Ben had briefly explained Rey’s past to his friends so they wouldn’t question her on it. That meant they understood why she didn’t want to go back to Jakku.

“So anyway Rey, do you like Porg Island?” Gwen said as a way to change the subject. Rey grinned.

“Why are you bringing that up?” Hux grumbled.

“Because it’s really good and something Ben should be proud of.”

“But it’s not fair that he gets to be a bloody sea serpent and I’m a stupid little bird. I’m not sure that’s how I want to be represented.”

“Well my friend Finn thinks you’re evil, so I think being known as a grumpy dad bird is a bit better than that.” Rey said.

“And why would he think that?” asked Hux.

“Because we interviewed him last summer.” Ben said.

“Ah,” Hux said. “In my defence, we had just had Alfie and I wasn’t sleeping very well. Ben had no excuse, he’s just an asshole.”

“Ha ha.” Ben said without the slightest hint of humor. He still had no idea what they had done to Finn and he didn’t care enough to look back in their interview records to find out.

“Is everyone done?” Gwen asked when they had all stopped eating.

“Yes thank you, that was really nice. I haven’t had a roast dinner in ages.” Rey said passing her plate over so they could be stacked and ready to wash up later.

“Good. Armie, you’re in charge of pudding and drinks. I’m going to check on Alfie.” Gwen said leaving the room.

“Armie huh. I don’t think Ben’s mentioned your first name before.” Rey said. “I thought it was just a man thing to call each other by your surname.”

“That and I hate my name. Don’t use it.” he warned, jokingly pointing the knife he was using to cut the cheesecake at her.

She laughed. “Noted.”

Gwen brought Alfie back downstairs with her. The poor boy was pale and clammy and kept coughing. It wasn’t a very nice sound and he made a bit of a pitiful sight but he should be alright in a couple of days.

“Poor baby. You must be really sick if you’re not trying to steal my pudding.” Gwen gently rocked him while she ate. He was very clingy.

Ben looked over at Rey but couldn’t read her expression as she looked at Alfie. Maybe she feared that this was what motherhood was like. Maybe she was a bit jealous she didn’t have a mother to cuddle when she got sick. Whatever it was, he gave her hand a reassuring squeeze under the table. That got her to turn and smile at him.

“I’ll go get the baby medicine.” Gwen said when she’d finished her cheesecake and handed Alfie over to Hux. The baby momentarily protested but he was too tired to continue and quickly snuggled into his father’s jumper.

“Uncle Ben!” said an excited Alice from the doorway.

“Hey kid. Shouldn’t you be in bed?” he said kindly as he knew she was in trouble for sneaking downstairs.

“Yes you should be.” Gwen said sternly, crossing her arms for emphasis.

“But Alfie got to come down.” Alice said innocently, playing with the frilly edge of her pyjama top.

“We didn’t have a deal with Alfie and anyway, he’s sick. You’ve just lost your unicorn toy.”

“No that’s not fair. You have cake and Ben.” Alice said turning on the water works.

“Yes we do.” Gwen said unmoved by her daughter’s tears. “Now back to bed.”

Alice didn’t move, so Gwen picked her up which is where the really tantrum began.

“I think that’s our cue to leave.” Ben said over Alfie’s crying that had been set off by his sister’s screams. He offered Rey his hand. She was sat there looking a bit shell shocked at how quickly the situation had deteriorated.

“You can’t just leave us with this mess.” Hux said, trying to calm Alfie down.

“Yes we can. I’ve been doing it for nearly six years.” He meant it as a joke but really there wasn’t much he could do and most of the time it was easier to leave than just awkwardly stand there.

As they were getting their coats and shoes and over the noise of Alice and Alfie, they could hear Gwen asking Bertie why he wasn’t in bed. Ben would have given him a transforming dinosaur himself for the flawless reasoning of his answer. They had only offered him a toy for staying upstairs not for going to bed, that would teach them to be more specific when offering bribes.

Ben said goodbye to a very frazzled looking Hux and left. He was surprised when Rey asked whether or not they should help, but he assured her that it was alright for them to leave and that they wouldn’t be much help anyway.

“Did you have a nice time though?” he asked.

“Yes dinner was so good.” she said. “Can you cook?”

“Yes, but it’s not the same when you’re only cooking for yourself.”

“As it’s my turn to choose what we do together, I know what I want to do.”

Rey had a mischievous smile on her face that was infectious. “And what is that?”

“Next Friday, I want to come home from work with you so you can cook me dinner.”

“Oh really.” Ben said and he didn’t know why he hadn’t suggested it before now. It was probably about time that they spent some alone time together.

***

Ben couldn’t believe he was so excited as he was for Rey to come over on Friday night. Every night that week he spent a good amount of time cleaning and tidying up every inch of his apartment, he wanted to make a good impression.

His food delivery came on Thursday night just after Ben got in himself. He double checked the order to make sure that he had everything he needed and started prepping.

Ben spent ages going through his recipe books trying to find the perfect meal. Rey said she didn’t want anything too fancy and he wanted something that he could mainly prepare the night before so he didn’t have to spend most of the evening toiling away when they could be doing more enjoyable things.

On Friday morning before he left for work, Ben changed his sheets and made the bed, and shoved them in the wash basket with all his other dirty clothes, hoping there wasn’t a random sock laying around. Then he went and checked on everything else for that evening.

The lamb meatballs, spicy tomato sauce and herby couscous were all in the fridge. The meatballs needed cooking, everything else just needed heating through. The white wine was chilling and there were some condoms in the top drawer of his bedside table, just in case.

They hadn’t talked about it but then again they hadn’t been alone to do so, but tonight would be an opportunity to do so. It was probably more wishful thinking on Ben’s part but he really liked Rey, more than any woman he’d ever been with and he was more than ready to take their relationship to the next level as long as she was.

***

It felt so nice to be getting off the tube with Rey rather than bidding her goodbye and walking home alone. Though Ben suspected that she didn’t like the fact that they all had to pile into a lift to get out of the station, or that it was quite a walk uphill to his apartment or that he lived on the top floor.

It bothered him sometimes too, especially after a long day or if it was cold and raining, but it didn’t today because Rey was by his side.

“Oh wow,” Rey said when they stepped through the door.

Ben tried not to show it but he was doing a little dance inside at the fact that she liked his place. “You can go have a look around if you like.”

“Are you sure?” she asked.

“Yeah, you go ahead, I’ll sort our dinner out.” He trusted her and it wasn’t like he was trying to hide anything from her, not anymore at least.

Ben took off his suit jacket and tie and rolled up his sleeves and got to work. It didn’t take that long and Ben was glad he had prepped everything as it was nearly done by the time Rey came back from her little tour.

“If it isn’t a stupid question, why do you need such a large apartment if you’re living on your own?” she asked.

“I don’t know really. I guess that I’m used to living in big houses.” It was all he had ever known considering who his parents were, and it was sort of what was expected of him. When you had more money than you knew what to do with, why not spend it on property. Of course, when he had bought this place six years ago, he hadn’t realised he would be living alone all that time. He hadn’t envisioned it taking this long to find someone to share it with.

“Sorry that was a rather entitled answer.”

“It’s alright.” Rey said, but Ben couldn’t help but feel a bit awkward. To take his mind off it, he turned his attention back to their dinner and started plating everything up.

“Hope you like it.” he said and set about pouring them some wine.

Rey took a bite before he’d even say down. “Umm, this is really good.”

Ben smiled. “Glad you like it.” He took a sip of his wine. “If you were cooking me dinner, what would you make?”

She laughed. “I could probably do you some chicken nuggets and chips. I’m really not very good at cooking.”

A thought occurred to Ben. “I could teach you if you want.”

“Really?”

“Yes, it’s something we can do together.” And it was an excuse for her to keep coming over.

“I’d like that.”

Ben noticed that Rey was flagging a bit as she was getting close to clearing her plate, but to her credit she did finish. He probably shouldn’t have given her so much, she didn’t need to eat as much as him.

“I’ve got pudding as well. Do you want it now or do you want to wait?” He already knew her answer but he also thought he should check first.

They took their drinks and went and sat on the sofa. They chatted for a bit, letting their food digest, the wine helping them relax after a long week at work. Ben thought this was the perfect way to start off the weekend.

After a while they gave up all attempts at conversation and just started making out. Ben couldn’t say who initiated it but it was what he had been dying to do all evening and by the way Rey was responding to his kisses and the way she was running her hands through his hair, she wanted this too.

The way his hand covered most of her stomach, from her hips to ribs was doing things for him. She was so tiny compared to him. It would be so easy to pick her up or move her into any position.

He started to lean into her, gently pushing her down to lay on the sofa, they would be much more comfortable lying down. But then Rey suddenly got up, so quickly in fact that he couldn’t do anything but fall face first into the space where she was just sitting.

What just happened? He thought. His mind was a bit foggy and he could barely register what Rey was saying, something about wanting to go away for her birthday.

It took a few moments for his brain to catch up and for him to straighten himself out. Rey had made a bit of a mess of his hair and the sudden loss of contact meant that the slight bulge in his pants would go down in a minute or two.

No sooner had they agreed that Ben would try and get his family’s lake house in Naboo for Rey’s birthday weekend, she wanted to leave.

“Why? Did I do something wrong?” he asked slightly panicked. He didn’t want her to leave yet.

“No. It’s just I have a feeling that you want to do more than kissing.” She picked at her nails instead of looking at him. He knew that was one of her nervous habits.

“God Rey no. Not if you don’t want to.” He got up and took her in his arms, luckily she didn’t resist him. He felt a bit ashamed. He hadn’t realised he was pushing too far. He should have asked her. His mother had raised him better than that.

“It’s not that I don’t want to.” Rey sighed and held him tighter. “Well, firstly, it’s not the right time of the month to do it.”

“Oh,” Ben said. That was definitely a good excuse not to go any further tonight. “And the second reason?”

“You’re probably going to think I’m putting too much into this, but I want our first time to be special.”

There was only one reason he could think of as to why anyone would want sex to be special. “Rey are you a -”

She didn’t let him finish. “No, but I’ve only had sex once.”

“Why? What happened?”

“Do I have to?”

“Yes.” he said sternly. His mind had jumped to the worst possible conclusion and when he found out who had hurt Rey, he would find them and make them pay.

Luckily it turned out there hadn’t been an issue of consent, just a boy who was inexperienced and couldn’t last and Rey didn’t care enough about him to give him another chance. That made him feel much better.

“Your turn.” Rey said.

“For what?”

“I told you my embarrassing sex story, now tell me one of yours.”

“No.” There was no way he was telling her about his first time or anything about Carise. He should have known better, but he was young and touch starved.

“It’s only fair.” Rey was determined to get something out of him.

“Fine.” So he told her about the time he ended up in the same room as Hux and Gwen while they were having sex just after they first met.

They sat and cuddled on the sofa for a bit longer feeling a bit better now that they’d both shared a secret. And now they had something to look forward to next month.


	7. April

“Of course you can stay at the lake house Ben.” his Great Aunt Sola said when he phoned her up. “We’re all away that weekend, and you’ve just saved me the trouble of getting a house sitter.”

“Would it be too much to ask that you leave some food in the kitchen?” Ben asked.

“Aren’t you planning on taking your girl out into Naboo? I can leave you a list of recommendations.”

“Well of course we’ll go out. It’s just in case we want to stay in or you know, have a picnic.” He didn’t really want to explain why they may not make it out into town every night to an eighty year old woman, but she saw right through him.

“Right, a picnic of course.” The grin that was quite probably on her face, came through in Sola’s voice. Ben’s face went red with embarrassment. Luckily he was home alone so there was nobody to see him. “Anything else?”

“A birthday cake too if it’s not too much trouble.”

“That’s probably the least amount of trouble. Ryoo owns a bakery, don't you know.”

“Yes I had heard.”

The relationship between Leia and her biological family was friendly even though they weren’t that close. Sola had been angry for a long time that she hadn’t been allowed to adopt her newborn niece and nephew when her dear sister died, but things got better after Leia reached out after the assassination of the family who had raised her.

“If that’s everything, I’ll see to it that everything is ready for you.” Sola said. “I’ll give the keys to JJ and tell him to pick you up from the train station.”

“Thank you Auntie.” It was easier to call her that than anything else.

“Please remember to sign the guest book and,” her voice turned serious and sad. “Go and see your Grandma.”

“We will.” Ben said. It had been a long time since he had been to Naboo and it was past time that he visited his Grandmother’s grave.

***

“Ahh, four day weeks are the best.” Rey sighed as she relaxed into his sofa. “It’s Wednesday but we only have one more day of work left.”

“Then a four day weekend and only four days at work next week as well.” Ben said joining her.

“I wish the whole year was like this. I think everyone would be much happier if we only had four day weeks.”

Ben smiled at her. He understood where she was coming from but he couldn’t help but think of all the negative implications of a four day week. Maybe he was just old and practical and boring that he couldn’t enjoy the prospect at face value.

“Speaking of four day weekends, are you ready for ours?” Ben asked.

“Yes,” Rey beamed at him. “I went shopping with Rose last weekend and got some new clothes, and then we went to the comic book store and I got a new Space Wars book to read. Hey, I should take you to the comic book store.”

“It’s Ok, you don’t have to.” Ben had a preconceived notion of a typical comic book store and had decided he wouldn’t like it.

“Come on,” she gently goaded him. “Rose didn’t want to go at first, but in the end she loved it and she found a graphic novel of something she used to watch when she was young. Surely we’ll be able to find something you used to love as well.”

“But I’m not into that stuff anymore. I like art and history.”

Rey squinted at him. “When does it happen?”

“When does what happen?”

“Getting old.” she said. “Is it a gradual thing or does it happen all at once?”

Ben made a face at her. “I don’t have to take you to Naboo you know. I could just give you the train ticket and send you on your merry way.”

“But it’s my birthday and I want to have sex with you.” Rey said hugging his arm.

“Bedroom’s over there.” Ben said nodding in that direction.

“But I want it to be special.”

“I know.” He kissed her on the forehead. “Speaking of, do I need to bring condoms?”

“Yes.” Rey looked away bashfully. “I never got around to sorting anything out, not even when my acne was really bad.”

“That’s Ok.” It was worth checking and he didn’t mind wearing them.

“What shall we do now?” Rey said glancing at the time. “I don’t want to go home yet.”

They ended up watching a musical, not Ben’s choice, but Rey knew all the words and she was much more entertaining to watch and listen to.

***

Ben found Rey’s reaction to travelling first class cute. It was made even more so by the bright pink dress she was wearing and by drinking the pink milkshake he had bought her. He could have said it was a treat for her birthday but he always travelled first class. It was roomier, more comfortable and usually quieter, which was just as well as they sat reading for most of the journey.

Ben was making his way through The Rise and Fall of the Old Republic that he had gotten for his birthday. He was only on volume three. It was slow going even though he enjoyed the subject. Each volume was very dense and a thousand pages long and the font was tiny, he had to wear reading glasses. He hated wearing glasses.

Then Rey started giggling.

“What’s so funny?” he said putting his book down.

“It’s nothing. It’s just there’s a sex scene in this book.” Her voice dropped to a whisper for that last part.

Ben contained his laughter but still smiled. “Surely you can’t be scandalised. You read fanfiction after all.” And that was half the reason why they had been sitting on a train for nearly three hours.

They discussed books for a little while and that passed the remainder of their journey time.

As his great aunt had promised they were met at the station by JJ. Short for Jar Jar Binks the third, JJ had followed in the footsteps of his father and grandfather and worked for the Naberri family. Ben had played with this JJ when he visited as a child. He remembered all the silly voices JJ used to do to make them laugh. But he was an adult now and much more serious.

They got dropped off at the marina and JJ handed over the keys for the lake house and the boat they’d need to get there.

“Do you even know how to drive a boat?” Rey asked as he helped her into the sleek and stylish vessel.

“Of course I do. Do you really think I’d let JJ leave if I didn’t?”

“Fair enough Captain Solo. Anchors away or whatever this boat does.” she said, giving him a mock salute and a wink.

Ben suspected that Rey didn’t particularly like the boat ride but at least she didn’t get sea sick. It was more to do with the constant buffering by the wind and the mess it made of her hair. He didn’t like it either, he liked to have more control over his hair.

“Well here we are.” he said unlocking the front door. As they entered Ben was transported back to the two summers he had spent there when he was seven and eight. They were fun and happy summer. He got to spend them with his distant cousins, children his own age. He could never understand why his mother didn’t keep sending him to Naboo, he didn’t like spending his school holidays on his own or with Uncle Luke.

Ben went straight up the grand staircase to the guest bedroom that JJ said was ready for their use. Rey followed him, taking in the wonder of everything around her.

He had just put their suitcases down when he heard a contented sigh behind him. Ben turned around to find that Rey had already made herself comfortable on the bed.

He went and joined her, pulling her into his arms. It felt so good to be away with her. All he wanted to do was…

“Can we wait til a bit later?” Rey asked pulling away ever so slightly. “I have a feeling if we start now we’ll never get anything done.”

“Is that a bad thing?” Ben asked leaning in for a kiss but she only gave him the briefest peck.

“Yes. I want to tell people I did stuff this weekend, you know other than you.” she said laughing and sat up. That was a truly terrible way to put it, but if her friends were anything like Hux then they would already have a pretty good idea of what they would be up to.

“Very well. What do you want to do?” Ben said leaning up on his elbows.

They decided to go for a picnic. He hadn’t checked before coming upstairs but there should be plenty of food in the fridge.

“Before we go, there’s someone I want you to meet.” Rey said and went and got something out of her suitcase.

“This is Porgi.” She made its little wing wave at Ben. “I know it may seem weird for me to still carry around a cuddly toy, but he’s been with me through everything and I couldn’t leave him behind.”

Ben took in the old and obviously well loved porg toy and smiled. “No wonder you like Porg Island so much. You have the original porg.”

Porgi reminded him of the old monkey toy he’d had when he was little. He used to take it everywhere, but when he got sent away to school, he had put it in his memory box because he thought he was too old for toys, and he hadn’t thought about it since. Ben presumed his mother had his memory box stashed away somewhere.

They took some food and went out to have their picnic by a secluded lake he knew where they used to come swimming. The weather was perfect. It was slightly warmer that it was in Coruscant but not too hot to sit outside without any shade.

They had a paddle in the shallows, a kiss and a cuddle in the soft grass and on their way back to the house, Rey made him give her a piggyback. Ben didn’t begrudge her this as it was her birthday. Besides, he liked having her hold onto him so tightly, liked her leaning her head on his shoulder and having her breath tickle his neck, liked her thighs gripping his waist. He could have let his mind wander into dirtier thoughts, but he didn’t. He just had to wait until Rey thought it was the right time for them to go to bed.

Once they got back to the house they decided to have some birthday cake Ryoo had made. There were some candles as well, but it took Ben a while to rummage through all the drawers in the kitchen to find a lighter. Rey said she didn’t mind not having candles but he wanted her to have a good birthday and what was a birthday cake without candles.

“Did you get me a present or is the whole weekend my present?” Rey asked when she had finished her slice of cake. It was very nice, he would have to send compliments to Ryoo.

“I thought I was your present. You get to unwrap me whenever you want.” Ben instantly regretted saying that as Rey burst out laughing. If she had any cake in her mouth she would have choked.

“Sorry that was awful. I’ll never say something as tacky again.” God he was embarrassed. Why had he even said that? Now Rey was laughing at him.

“I was going to get you something when we go into town.” he said quietly looking at the floor.

“It’s Ok.” Rey said when she finally regained her composure. “I wouldn’t mind my present now.”

“Really?” Ben perked up. It may have been his imagination, but she sounded flirty.

“I mean, we’ve done something we can tell other people about and it’s too early for dinner. Unless you want to go into town now?”

It was a valid suggestion. If they left for town now they could wander round a few shops before they closed then go to one of the restaurants Sola suggested for dinner. But the other option was much more appealing.

“No quiet evening in is fine by me.” Ben said quickly and he gathered her up to carry her upstairs before she could say anything else. She giggled all the way.

As soon as he set her down in the bedroom, he started to kiss her. The hot and deep kisses causing them to moan and hold each other tightly.

Ben moved from her lips, across her jaw and down her neck to suck on her pulse spot.

“Can we do one thing before we get started?” Rey asked a little short of breath. He stopped to look at her, noticing the colour that had spread across her cheeks.

“And what is that?”

“Can we have a quick shower?” she asked. It was a good idea and it would be nice to get the dirt of travelling off them.

Rey nabbed their en suite leaving Ben to go use one of the other many bathrooms in the house.

Ben pretty much had the fastest shower of his life as he was too eager to get back to Rey. On closer inspection in the bathroom mirror, he decided it was probably best if he had a shave as well. He hadn’t shaved that morning as he wasn’t that strict about it when he wasn’t at work, but Rey would appreciate it if he did.

He headed back to the bedroom with just a white towel around his waist and sat on the edge of the bed to wait for Rey to finish up.

It felt like he was waiting a long time during which it felt like he had forgotten how to sit normally. Was it because he was only wearing a towel or because he was waiting for his girlfriend to come out of the bathroom so they could have sex and he thought that he should be doing something special?

Ben jumped very slightly when Rey emerged from the bathroom. She was wearing a short silk robe that showed off her long, slender legs.

“Hey.” he said, finding his voice.

“Hey.” she said back.

“You alright?” Ben asked as she had a strange look on her face.

“Yes, you just look really good.” she said and he had to laugh. If that was the reason, then he had the same look on his face as well.

The look became even more pronounced when Rey undid her robe and let it slowly slip off her shoulders revealing her slim, smooth body to him. Her slight curves were barely covered by the sheer black lace of her underwear. She looked beautiful and perfect, an angel who had blessed him with her company. Well maybe not an angel in those panties, but whatever divine being she was, he would worship her.

Rey turned her back to him and looked over her shoulder at him. “Like what you see?” she said seductively.

All Ben could do was nod, he didn’t trust himself to speak at that moment. Rey liked that and gave him a wicked smile before climbing onto his lap and kissing him passionately.

He momentarily lost himself before regaining focus. He needed to show Rey a good time, needed to give her a good experience. She had specifically told him that she wanted to feel something and for it to last more than thirty seconds.

Ben had been quite confident that he could do that but now that they were here and she had started grinding herself against him, he wasn’t so sure. It had been a long time for him.

Taking back control, Ben gently rolled them over so that Rey was lying on her back. That would allow him to calm down but also wind her up.

He moved his kisses down her neck to her chest, pawing at the thin fabric with his mouth. A gentle brush of the nipple elicited a grasp out of Rey that made him grin against her skin.

As if reading his mind, Rey reached behind her and unhooked her bra, throwing the flimsy bit of material off to the side somewhere. That allowed him to tease her some more by sucking on each nipple in turn, running his tongue over the most sensitive spot, starting to make her squirm against him.

Ben then moved down her perfectly flat stomach, tracing her freckles as he went, down to her hips. He rested his head on her thigh and traced around the edge of her panties with his finger, getting close to where Rey wanted him to be then moving away causing her to whine. Ben laughed and kissed the top of her thigh before moving off so he could shimmy her out of her panties.

Rey’s gasps and moans got louder the longer he ate her out for. It felt so good to feel her fall apart, knowing that his mouth was doing that. That she enjoyed it too judging by the noises she was making and the way she was carding her fingers through his hair. She moaned at the loss of contact he got up.

“Hush sweetheart. I’ll be back in a moment.” He got the packet of condoms out of his bag and proceeded to put one on.

“Ready sweetheart?” Ben asked kneeling between Rey’s legs. She smiled, biting her lip and nodded.

She let out a deep moan as he slowly entered her. One of her hands was on his shoulder and he could feel her grip tighten as he seated himself inside her.

Ben took a moment to compose himself and looked down at Rey’s face. Her eyes were closed in a mixture of pleasure, pain and concentration. In a word she was beautiful and Ben was sure he had never seen a more beautiful woman.

“Why aren’t you moving?” Rey moaned. “You’re supposed to be moving.”

“I just thought, since you can obviously feel something, that I would just stay here for thirty seconds.” Ben didn’t even try to hide his smile, but Rey didn’t find it particularly funny.

“Shut up and move.” and she kicked her heel into his bottom like you would a horse.

“Yes ma’am.” he said and rolled his hips making Rey gasp and arch her back.

With every thrust and roll of his hips Ben could feel Rey open up to him more, not just physically but emotionally.

They lost track of time. They may have been entwined for ten minutes or half an hour or two but Ben made sure Rey got what she needed before he took what he wanted.

When he reached his release and spilled himself into the condom, he let himself bathe in the warm feeling before opening his eyes.

The sight that met him was beautiful, Rey’s smiling and blushing face.

“Hi,” she said.

“Hi.” he said back and they both started giggling.

“So how was that?”

“Very, very nice.” Rey said sleepily. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down for a slow kiss. When he pulled away, he brushed their noses together and smiled.

“I’ll be right back sweetheart, I just need to go clean myself up.” he said getting up and going into the bathroom.

When he returned he found Rey lying on her side cuddling a pillow.

“You having fun there?” he asked getting back into bed.

“It’s so soft and squishy.” she said, still sounding sleepy and hugged the pillow tighter.

“You can hug me now.”

“No you’re all solid muscle.”

Ben smirked. “Can I hold you with the pillow between us then?”

“Ok.” Rey said shuffling across the bed and lifting her head slightly so he could get his arm under her.

Ben lay back feeling utterly content and truly happy. He wanted to stay right there forever.

It was so peaceful being on the edge of a lake surrounded by nature, Ben thought he might have dozed off as he suddenly became aware of a soft sensation slowly moving up and down his torso.

He opened his eyes to see that Rey was running her finger across him. Looking over at her, he could see that she was now fully awake.

“Can I help you?” he said. He wanted her to stop as she was coming dangerously close to tickling him and he would not show her that weakness so she could exploit it later.

“I was just wondering if you’d fallen asleep on me.”

“No, no just a long blink.”

“Good because I was also wondering when we can do it again.”

He moved back slightly in surprise. “You want to do it again now?”

“Unless you can’t keep up with me now.” Rey said suggestively.

“I can, just give me ten minutes.” Ben said moving the pillow so he could hold Rey properly. He made sure to hold her hand so she couldn’t stroke him any more.

Absentmindedly, he started tracing small circles on Rey’s side. As he got further up her ribs, she squeaked and flinched.

“What’s wrong?” Ben asked.

“Nothing.” Rey replied quickly, too quickly.

“Did, did I just find your ticklish spot?”

“Nope, no, no you didn’t.” she said obviously lying.

Ben gave her a wicked smile. Maybe he wouldn’t need ten minutes now.

***

When Ben awoke, he could actually hear birdsong instead of the traffic noises he usually heard. It was so peaceful and he was warm and happy.

Sighing contentedly, he turned onto his side and reached across to find Rey. His hand splayed across her stomach, her warm smooth skin was exposed as her silky top had ridden up.

Ben, with his eyes still closed, leaned over with the intent of nuzzling her shoulder, but his face met something furry. Opening his eyes, he was met by the dead plastic eyes of Porgi.

He leaned back to take all of the old and faded cuddle toy in. When Rey had told him about Porgi the day before, Ben hadn’t realised that she would actually be sleeping with it, especially after the evening they’d had. But who was he to tell Rey she couldn’t sleep with Porgi, if it brought her comfort and helped her sleep. There was nothing worse than not being able to sleep.

Ben moved Porgi off the bed and put it on the bedside table, he had a feeling Rey wouldn’t have liked it if he just dropped it on the floor, so he could snuggle her.

Rey’s hair was a mess. It wasn’t helped by the eye mask she was wearing that bunched it all up around the elastic and there was evidence that she had been drooling in her sleep. But Ben had never seen anyone more adorable in the bright morning sunlight that was streaming in through the blinds.

She stretched and sighed and snuggled into him, starting to wake up.

“Morning.” Ben said giving her a kiss on the forehead.

“Morning.” Rey mumbled and slid off her eye mask, but she instantly regretted it and buried her head in his shoulder.

They continued to hold each other while they slowly woke up.

“What do you want to do today?” Ben asked.

“Well,” Rey said in a very flirty tone and sly smile. She traced a circle with her finger on his shoulder.

“Really?” he said with a raised eyebrow. He wasn’t complaining, he hadn’t been intimate with anyone in ages.

“Something inside me has always been there but now it’s awake.” she said and began to nibble on his ear.

“What have I done?” Ben muttered in mock despair before rolling over and caging in a now giggling Rey.

***

It was safe to say that neither Ben nor Rey really wanted to go back to Coruscant on Monday but they had to. In his opinion it had been the most perfect weekend and it made him wonder if they could just quit their jobs and live off his trust fund and just always be together. But he knew that wasn’t really going to work. He knew that Rey valued her independence and he would get bored, so back to the rat race they would go.

Ben found it funny that when they were on the train, they both kept sneaking glances at each other over their respective books. He was sure he’d read the same page three times and couldn’t recall what it was about, his head was just so full of Rey.

Outside the window, the landscape changed from the peaceful waterways of Naboo to the countryside and finally to the urban landscape of Coruscant and soon Ben and Rey were off the train and on the underground so they could go back home.

They sat in comfortable silence, their fingers interlocked and Rey had her head resting on Ben’s shoulder. He could feel their hands getting clammy but it was a nice position and he didn’t want to move.

As they got closer to his stop, Ben was dreading more and more getting off without Rey. They had only been intimate with each other for a few days but now that they had, he didn’t really want them to be apart.

“Do you want to come home with me?” Ben said hoping that she felt the same way. The big smile that she gave him suggested that she did.

“Now I don’t actually have anything we can have for dinner.” Ben said when they got back to his place. Even though there were things he’d rather eat, they hadn’t had any food since lunchtime and that seemed like an awfully long time ago because they had been in a completely different place. “Do you want to get a take away?”

“Can we get pizza?” Rey asked as she was getting herself comfortable on the sofa.

“Yes, you pick.” He handed her his tablet with the online order menu on it.

“Can we get garlic bread too?”

“If you like.”

“And chicken strips and cookies?” she asked in a way that reminded him of Bertie and Alice. He couldn’t say no to them either.

A couple of hours later with their bellies full and the leftover pizza safely in the fridge, Ben and Rey were ready for bed.

“What?” Rey asked as she was snuggled under the covers with her silky floral pyjamas on and Porgi tucked under one arm. She had caught him smiling at her.

“Nothing.” he said as he got in next to her. “It’s just that you’re in my bed.”

“And that’s doing things for you is it?” she said teasingly.

“You have no idea.” Ben said going in for a slow and gentle kiss. He gently extracted Porgi and set him on the bedside table so both of Rey’s arms were free to wrap around him.

“Do you want to do it or are you too full of pizza?” he whispered in her ear.

“Both.”

Ben laughed and kissed her shoulder. “That’s your fault you know. You wanted to order so much.”

“I know but I was hungry and those cookies were so good.” Rey said.

“So good.” Ben agreed. “Wouldn’t have thought to order cookies from a pizza place.”

“Come on, let’s just go to sleep, it’s been a surprisingly long day and we have to go to work tomorrow.”

“I don’t want to.” Rey moaned still cuddled up to his side.

“I know, me neither.”

***

Ben had forgotten to turn off his 5am alarm and it made him jump when it went off.

“What’s that?” Rey groaned groggy with sleep.

“Just my alarm.” Ben said turning it off and getting back under the covers. He had no intention of getting up this early today.

“What time is it?” Rey yawned as she started to stretch, thinking it was time to get up.

“It’s five in the morning. You can go back to sleep.”

“Why do you have an alarm for five in the morning?” He could feel her relax back into the mattress.

“I would usually get up and go to the gym, or go for a run.”

“I know some exercise you can do without leaving this bed.” He could hear the sleepy smile in her voice.

“Oh yeah. What’s it going to be Rey, sex or sleep?”

“Sorry Ben. you’re not that good, sleep will always win.”

He laughed. He would let her sleep, but she needed a quick tickle as punishment for that comment.

They got up properly a couple of hours later.

“Do you think this will be Ok to wear for work?” Rey asked, looking down at the navy capris and blue flowery top she was wearing. The downside of her staying over last night was that she only had the clothes she’d packed for the weekend with her. Luckily the outfit she was wearing had only been worn for half an hour before they decided to just stay in bed, so it didn’t need washing.

“It’s fine.” Ben said buttoning up his shirt. “At least you can dress casual. I have to wear a suit.”

“But you look so good in a suit.” Rey said, smoothing the front of his shirt down with her hands. The look she gave him made him wish they could just call in sick today.

“What shall I do about my stuff?” she said breaking his reverie. “I don’t particularly want to take the suitcase into work.”

“You could just leave it here?” Ben tried to make himself sound casual, to hide the fact that he wanted her to stay over very often. “That way you’ve always got something here.”

“Ok,” she smiled. “You don’t mind washing them?”

“Of course not. I’ve got my own to do tonight anyway.”

Rey had a slice of cold pizza for her breakfast while Ben had cereal. She was a bit disappointed that he had bran raisin with semi skimmed milk.

“You’re so boring.” she said. He couldn’t help but smile as he remembered the rant she had when she asked him his favourite food and he wouldn’t give her any details.

It was so nice to go into work with someone. Usually Ben and Rey did their morning commute separately, but Ben liked the change; liked having someone to talk to, liked holding someone’s hand while they navigated the foot traffic, liked getting a kiss before they went into their respective office building. Even though they were both reluctant to let go.

“I’ll see you at lunchtime.” Ben said more of a reassurance to himself than to her.

“So how was your weekend?” Hux said casually as he stepped into Ben’s office.

“Very good. How was yours?” Ben said knowing he wasn’t giving his friend what he wanted.

“Come on. Give me something.”

“No.”

“Just one little thing.” he begged.

“No as I value my privacy and I really don’t think Rey would appreciate me talking about her to you.” Ben said but he wasn’t particularly mad at Hux.

“Fine. How was Naboo? Did you actually see much of it?” Ben threw his stress ball at Hux but he managed to dodge it. “Well I’m glad you had a nice time.”

“Thank you. Now do you actually want anything?”

“Yes. Do you think Rey would want to come to Alfie’s birthday?”

“Don’t know, I’ll ask her.”

“As you’re serious now, she should probably meet the children. Just don’t take forever to ask her this time.”

“Alfie’s birthday isn’t for over a week.” Ben shouted after Hux as they latter left his office. One of these days, he’ll come in here and actually talk about work, thought Ben.

***

“Are you sure I can’t persuade you to come home with me again?” Ben whispered seductively in Rey’s ear as they were nearing his tube station that evening.

“As nice as that would be, I don’t have anything to wear.”

“That doesn’t bother me.”

“I mean, I don’t have anything to wear to work tomorrow silly.” Ben could tell Rey wanted to push him over, but she couldn’t as there was someone standing behind him.

“You could always go home, grab some stuff then come back to mine?” he suggested.

She smiled at him sadly. “It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just this is new for me and -”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pressure you or anything.” Ben apologised.

“It’s Ok. I think I’m not very good at being spontaneous, last night being the exception, and I weirdly want to go back to my box room.”

“Sorry I was just being a bit needy and didn’t really want to say goodbye.”

“Aww, you’re sweet but I’ll see you tomorrow and I promise to stay over all weekend.”

They shared a quick goodbye kiss and Ben got off the train and walked home alone. As he walked he reminded himself that he should be taking things at Rey’s pace as this was her first relationship, no matter what he wanted. He didn’t want to scare her off or make her uncomfortable.

Since he was on his own for the evening, Ben decided he may as well get his laundry done. He emptied out both his and Rey’s suitcases and sorted their clothes so he had a dark and a light load. He put in the light wash first as it contained some of the shirts he had worn to work the previous week that he would need to wear this week.

Ben went back into his bedroom to get something when he noticed that Porgi was still sat on the bedside table.

“Hey Porgi. Maybe Rey would have wanted to come over if she knew you were still here.” he said out loud. It wasn’t like it mattered, no one else was there to hear him talking to a stuffed animal.

A quick rummage round the kitchen revealed that the only thing Ben could have for tea was the rest of the leftover pizza. He shrugged and put it in the microwave to warm it up. He’d have to remember to place his food order later.

He was just about to tuck into his pizza when there was a frantic knocking at the door. Because it was getting late and he wasn’t really expecting anyone, Ben used the spyglass and was presently surprised by who was on the other side.

“Well hel -” Rey pushed past him and ran straight into his bedroom.

“Rey?” he called after her as she did not look happy. He followed her and found her on the floor crying, clutching Porgi and whispering things to him.

“Rey, what’s the matter?” Ben said cautiously approaching her like she was a frightened animal. 

It took Rey a moment to compose herself enough to look at him. Her cheeks were wet and her eyes were red from crying and even though she had stopped for now, her lip still trembled and her breathing was irregular.

“What happened?” Ben asked again. He was rather concerned as it had only been an hour since they’d seen each other last. What could have happened in that short amount of time?

“I left Porgi behind.” Rey said weakly.

“It’s Ok. He was only here and you’ve got him now.”

“You don’t understand. I promised him that I’d never leave him behind.”

“When did you do that?” Ben asked. He didn’t really understand the bond between Rey and Porgi, but it was important to her so he would listen.

“When I was little. If I left something behind when I moved houses, I never saw it again. That’s how I lost my favourite jumper, my school shoes, my reading books. So I vowed to Porgi as no one else wanted me, we’d have to stick together. So when I got home tonight and didn’t see him sitting on my bed, I panicked.”

Ben sat next to her on the floor and wrapped an arm around her.

“I’m sorry. You probably think I’m really stupid for getting so worked up over this.” Rey said, pushing some loose hair out of her eyes and wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

“Not at all.” Ben said giving her shoulder a squeeze. “Do you still want to go back to your place tonight?”

“Now that I have Porgi, yes.” Rey said trying to give him a smile.

“Ok, well I can’t let you go back in the state you’re in. Let’s have the rest of the pizza and then I’ll walk you back to the station.”

“Thank you Ben. Do you mind if I take my suitcase home? I don’t actually have any spare toiletries at home.”

“You know we’ll be walking past a couple of shops right?”

“I know, but taking the suitcase seems like less effort because I already own them.”

“That reasoning makes sense to me.”

***

The following Friday Ben and Rey met in their usual spot outside the cafe by the station. Rey had promised that she would stay the weekend but he was surprised how heavy her little suitcase was when he offered to carry it.

“Well I thought that if I was going to leave some clothes at yours, I may as well have some things that I can wear to work just in case.”

“I thought you said you weren’t very good at being spontaneous.” Ben said with a wry smile.

“I know but I’ve been thinking about it and it’s the disruption to my normal routine afterwards that I don’t like. So if I had more of my stuff at yours it won’t be as bad and I can stay over whenever I want.” She grinned up at him.

“You are more than welcome to stay over whenever you want.” Ben said. “But what about Porgi?” He really didn’t want to see Rey so upset again.

Rey shrugged. “I guess I’ll have to start taking him to work so he’ll always be in the right place.”

After eating their dinner of sweet and sour pork noodles, Ben and Rey settled in to watch a movie. He didn’t find it very interesting, but it had been nominated for all the film awards and Rey wanted to watch it because it had Tom Alexander in it, her second favourite actor behind his father so she said.

“I was thinking,” he said when he felt that a political discussion had gone on for far too long. “That you really ought to meet Bertie and Alice.”

“Really?” Rey didn’t seem too convinced.

“It’s Alfie’s birthday next weekend and we thought it might be a good time for you to meet the children.”

“Who’s we?” she asked.

“Gwen and Hux. They get to decide who they let near their children.”

“Of course.” Rey frowned a little. “Do you talk to them about me? Do you give any details about what we do, to Hux in particular?”

Ben got what she meant. Maybe her friends were as intrusive as Hux was. “No but he can infer things, he’s not an idiot and I’ve been in a really good mood lately.”

She cuddled up close to him. “Ok, I’ll go to a child’s birthday party.”

He was glad that she’d agreed to go but now he was stuck on the sofa because Rey wanted to watch the end of the film and wouldn’t let him move because she was in a comfy position. He could still use his phone though.

Ben: Rey said she’ll come next week.  
Hux: Good, and what did I say about taking forever about asking her?  
Ben: I think four days is a record.

***

“I don’t have anything to wear.” Rey bemoaned the following Saturday morning, the day of Alfie’s birthday.

“Yes you do.” Ben had gladly made space in his wardrobe and drawers for the clothes she had brought over.

“No none of them are right.”

“They’re not going to care what you wear.” Ben gently gripped her shoulders in an effort to calm her down as he could clearly see that she was nervous and winding herself up. “There’s nothing wrong with what you’re wearing.”

Rey had thrown on what she had worn to work the day before so she could go out.

She gave him a small smile. “I know what you’re trying to do, but I’ll feel better if I go home and change. I’ll meet you at the station.”

“You will meet me? You’re not going to ditch me?” he asked.

“No, no, no. I said I’d go so I’ll go just after I find something to wear.” She gave him a quick kiss before she left.

True to her word, Rey met him at the station looking very nice in grey jeans, navy top and charcoal cardigan. He was happy to see that she had her hair up in the three buns she used to wear. It was nice to see them again as she hadn’t worn her hair like that in a while, as they had recently been getting up late so there was only really time to run a brush through it.

“You ready?” Ben asked when they arrived at his friends’ house.

“No.” He took her hand and gave it a squeeze. He appreciated her honesty and that she was here at least and promised they would leave if things went badly.

Gwen answered the door with Alfie in her arms and for once there was no sign of Alice.

“Hey Gwen. Here’s Alfie’s present.” Ben said. Not that he really understood the concept of presents and would be more interested in the wrapping paper if Christmas was anything to go by. At least the baby was happy to see them.

“Right, you better come in.” Gwen said moving into the house and they followed. “Alice, Bertie, Ben’s here.”

Ben had just enough time to slip his shoes off before the two children came barrelling down the hall and into him.

“Hey you two.” he said. It had been a while since he’d seen them and he was happy to again. He was sure they had grown a bit and that Bertie had lost another tooth. Their mother had managed to get them dressed smartly and they looked really cute, Alice in her blue dress and Bertie in his little shirt and shorts.

“Did you get me a present?” Alice asked sweetly.

Ben smiled. That was so typical of Alice. “No you’ve still got two weeks until your birthday.”

“But that’s ages away.” she moaned.

“My birthday’s even more ages away.” said Bertie.

“Well mine is even further away.” Ben said joining in.

The children giggled then he noticed Alice’s smile drop.

“Who’s that?” she asked pointing at Rey who was standing well back watching the exchange.

He stood up, came over, took her hand and gave it a quick squeeze before introducing her. “Alice, Bertie, this is my girlfriend Rey.”

“Hello.” She tried to hide it but Ben could hear a slight shake to Rey’s voice.

“Hi.” Bertie said cheerfully.

“Ray’s a boys name.” Alice said.

“It is, but I spell it differently and it’s short for Rachel.”

“Then why don’t we call you Rachel?” Ben wasn’t surprised that Alice took after her grandfather who insisted on calling everyone by their given name, nobody liked it.

“Because I don’t want to be called Rachel.” Rey said but now Ben could hear a slight edge to her voice and she was squeezing his hand quite hard.

“Yeah.” Bertie said. “My name’s Albert but I don’t want to be called Albert. I’m Bertie.” That was where all the trouble with Ms Tano had started.

“Exactly Bertie. Thank you.” Rey said. Ben felt a weird vibe coming off of Alice that he didn’t really understand.

“Why don’t you guys go find a game to play while we finish cooking?” Gwen said, who was still stood behind her older two children.

“Ok.” Bertie said coming to take Rey’s hand to take her through to the playroom.

“I want to play with Uncle Ben.” Alice said.

“All go play together please.” Gwen said sternly, recognising as well as Ben, her stroppy tone of voice.

“No.” Alice stomped her foot, leaving Ben no choice but to go into the living room with Alice so as to avoid a tantrum. He felt bad for leaving Rey on her own but Bertie was a good kid and she’d be fine for a little while.

Alice had some of her glitter magic magic unicorns and fairy dolls strune across the living room floor.

“You can brush Ruby’s hair.” Alice shoved a doll in a red dress and a tiny brush into his hands. The poor doll’s hair was so matted that a brush would never go through it again. It would be better if Ruby had a hair cut.

“Come on Alice. Why don’t we go play a game with the others?” Ben said.

“I don’t want to .” Alice was sat facing away from him making two unicorns dance around each other.

“But you like playing games.” Apart from when she lost, but he wasn’t going to tell her that.

“I don’t want to.” she said again.

“Did you fall out with Bertie?” They had seemed fine just now, but if there was one thing he had learnt about siblings from watching these two it was that they could be the best of friends one minute and the worst of enemies the next.

“No. I don’t want to play with her.” Alice said still facing away from him.

“But Rey’s really nice, trust me. She just wants to be your friend. You like making friends.”

Alice just shrugged and they fell into silence. Ben looked down at the doll unsure what he could say or do about Alice.

“Dinner’s ready.” Gwen said coming into the room. Alice got up quickly at left. “What’s wrong with her?”

“I have no idea.” Ben said.

He was glad to see Rey again even if it had only been twenty minutes. It looked like she had been having a much better time with Bertie.

“How’s it going?” Ben asked as she sat down next to him, but Bertie got there first.

“I’m winning.” he said.

“You’re only six spaces ahead, I could easily catch up.” Rey said teasingly. Ben was glad to see that.

“You’re in my seat.” Alice said.

“Oh,” Rey said. Ben didn’t know what Alice meant as she was sat in the place where her mini knife and fork were set.

“It doesn’t matter Alice.” Hux interjected when he started bringing over their food. “We always have to shuffle around when we have more people for dinner.”

“But I always sit next to Uncle Ben.” she whined and Ben realised that that was true.

“Well today you’re sitting next to me. Now stop scowling and eat your chicken.”

Ben looked over and saw that she was scowling. Did a chair at the dining table really mean that much to her?

“Did you two know that Rey likes Porg Island too?” Gwen said, trying to break the tension.

“Really?” Bertie said excitedly.

“Uncle Ben made that show for us.” Alice said, not looking up from where she was flattening her mash potatoes. “I’m Penny Porg. Has anyone made a TV show for you?”

“Well, no.” Rey looked around at them wondering what to say.

“That’s not totally true and you know it.” Ben said getting a bit annoyed with Alice’s attitude. “It’s on TV so everyone can watch it if they want to.”

They sat in silence for a moment, no one really sure what to say, apart from Alfie who was just a happy little baby who enjoyed wearing his dinner more than eating it.

“Uncle Ben did your hair.” Alice stated, moving on to stabbing her carrots.

“No he didn’t. I did my own hair.” Rey said instinctively going to touch it.

“No, he did my hair like that.” Ben didn’t think she would be able to remember back to November when he accidentally did her hair like Rey’s, but she did.

“You do her hair?” Rey asked, turning to him. He wasn’t surprised. He hadn’t told her anything about traditional Alderaanian hair braiding yet.

“Sometimes. Gwen will be the first to admit that she has no idea what she’s doing.”

“It’s true.” Gwen was still trying to fight the losing battle of feeding Alfie his dinner.

“How come you’ve not done my hair then?” Rey asked.

“I’ll tell you later.” he muttered and saw Hux smirk. Ben had explained it to him years ago. In Alderaan, they believed that braiding hair strengthened the bonds between people and that taking someone’s hair down was an intimate act to be done only by those you love and trust the most. Ben had taken Rey’s hair down a lot over the past few weeks.

They kind of just finished their dinner in silence after that. It was nice to have a roast dinner as a family, it really was a shame that Alice’s mood was souring everything.

“Rey, do you like broccoli?” Alice asked sounding much more like herself.

“Yes I do.” she said. That’s what he liked about Rey. She wasn’t a fussy eater and wasn’t afraid to eat in front of him like some women, although it stemmed from a darker time in her life.

“Good, you can have mine.” Alice pushed her little plastic plate across the table so violently that Rey had to catch her glass of juice before it spilt all over her.

“Right that’s it. We need to have a talk in the other room” Hux said as he got up and took Alice by the arm.

“Nooo.” Alice cried as she was dragged away, trying all the while to escape. The remaining adults just glared after her.

“Ben, can you watch Alfie?” Gwen said getting up. “I’m going to help Armie.”

“Yeah sure.” Ben said. He couldn’t believe that Alice was acting this way. He clenched his hand to get some of the tension out before asking Rey whether she was alright.

“I’m fine.” She gave him a weak smile and he gave her hand a gentle squeeze. They’d leave as soon as Gwen and Hux had finished telling Alice off.

“Do you want to finish our game now Rey?” Bertie asked.

“Might as well.” Rey sighed. At least she would have something to take her mind off things while he attempted to clean Alfie up. Why did he insist on putting mash potato in his hair?

The playroom was right off the kitchen and the door was left open so Ben could hear Rey and Bertie talking quietly.

“Is she always like this?” Rey asked.

“She thinks that Uncle Ben is all hers and she doesn’t like it when he talks to other girls. We once couldn’t get ice cream because there was a girl in the van.”

Suddenly some of Alice’s behaviours made sense, how she acted at the zoo, even with Ms Tano at Halloween and especially today. But that left him at a crossroads. It meant that he couldn’t hang out with his friends and girlfriend together, he’d have to choose and he already knew who he would pick.

Ben made his way down the hallway to the living room door with Alfie to see what was being said to Alice.

“What has gotten into you?” Hux was saying. “Rey has done nothing to deserve what you’ve put here through today.”

“We haven’t seen Uncle Ben in ages and it’s all her fault.” Alice said.

“Ben doesn’t have to come here you know.” Gwen said. “He has his own life and it doesn’t revolve around you.”

Alfie started to whimper at the sound of raised voices and Ben had to quietly shush him so they wouldn’t be alerted to his presents outside the door.

“There’s a good chance that after today they’re not going to want to come back.” said Hux. “Now go and apologise to Rey.”

“If she’s not coming back, why do I have to say sorry?” Alice asked.

“Not just her, Ben too.” Gwen said. “Do you think he’ll want to come over again after seeing how horrid you can be? Now go.”

“I don’t want to.” Alice said in defiance.

“I don’t care, now go.”

Ben stepped back from the door and into the shadows as Alice stormed out of the living room and stomped all the way to the playroom.

When Ben walked into the living room, Hux and Gwen were stood there with hands on hips, decompressing.

“Ben I -” Gwen started when she saw him, but he knew what she was going to say so handed Alfie over to her.

“I cleaned Alfie up, and I think we should be leaving. It’s probably best if I stay away for a while.” he said sadly.

“We understand.” Hux said.

“That’s it!” they heard Rey shout from the other room. It looked like she’d had enough as well.

“I know my children can be assholes but it’s not very easy to listen to someone else shout at them.” Gwen said as they went to see what was going on.

What they found was Rey telling her life story to Bertie and Alice, and Ben found himself proud of her for doing so.

And it worked.her little speech about finding a family and making friends got through to Alice and the rest of their time there was much more pleasant. It was good too because it meant they could all keep seeing each other without there being any bad blood between them.

When they got home, Rey insisted on Ben doing her hair in Alderaanian braids.

“You know I’m just going to take all these out again before we go to bed right?” Ben said as he twisted bits of hair round and made sure it all stayed flat.

“Seems a shame to destroy all your hard work.” Rey said. She sat patiently in front of him on one of the kitchen chairs, handing him pins and things when he wanted them. It made a nice change from doing Alice’s hair, she was always so fidgety.

“I can just do it again tomorrow you know.”

“I know but I want to keep it in as long as possible.” Ben detected a mischievous tone in her voice. “And my hair is obviously going to be ruined as soon as I lay down, so I thought I could be on top tonight.”

Ben almost dropped the pieces of hair and nearly lost where he was in the pattern. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I mean we haven’t done it that way yet and I thought it could be fun.” Rey shrugged and Ben couldn’t finish quick enough.

***

Ben had the day to himself as Rey had gone to her friend’s gender reveal party. She hadn’t been that enthusiastic about going, seeing the party as more of an obligation than something she might enjoy. He had just sat there and listened as she moaned while she was getting ready, glad that he didn’t have to go.

“Have you been to something like this?” she’d asked him.

“Gwen’s sister in law made her have one when she was having Bertie and she hated every second of it.” He thought back fondly on his friend's misery at being the centre of attention when she really didn’t want to be.

Instead he was camped out in his office reviewing the story ideas for the second session of Porg Island. He may have helped come up with the initial concept a couple of years ago but he was more than happy to let much more talented people create the show. It was Chewie who insisted that he look things over and have some part in the creative process if he was partially financing it.

Ben’s phone rang providing a welcome distraction, even more so when he saw the caller ID.

“All done with your party I see.” he said.

“Yes,” said Rey. “Kind of pointless to go all the way across the city to watch someone pop a balloon, but there you go.”

“So what are you going to do now?”

“I was wondering if you’d like to hang out with me and Rose.” she asked sweetly.

Ben kind of wanted to say no. He didn’t really want to go out, had planned to stay in all weekend, but that wasn’t very good for him. Besides, Rey had already met and had dinner with his friends and their children, it was the least he could do to go meet her and one friend.

“Ok, where shall I meet you?” He asked getting up to move through to the bedroom as he would need to change out of his sweatpants.

“Oh hang on.” Rey said. She had obviously not thought that far ahead. He could hear her having a hushed conversation with Rose away from the phone but couldn’t make out many of the words, they must have been trying to think of somewhere to go.

“Oh, Rose knows this board game cafe, can you meet us there?”

Ben got dressed and headed out. It was definitely an interesting place to meet and at least they could just play a game if things became awkwardly quiet.

He had just walked in the door when Rey’s friend Rose spotted him and waved him over to their table.

“Hi Ben.” she said. He took the seat opposite her. “Rey’s just in the bathroom, but we’ve ordered food and she let me pick a game as long as it wasn’t Snakes and Ladders, which I thought was a bit weird.”

“That’s because she lost to a five year old.” Ben said.

“I did not lose.” Rey had come back from the bathroom without him noticing and wrapped her arms around his neck to hug him from behind. “He cheated.”

“He did not.” Ben said as Rey sat down. “He was following the rules.”

“It is not a rule.”

“Yes it is. Rose, isn’t it a rule in Snakes and Ladders that you have to get the exact number to win, otherwise you have to bounce back?”

“Yeah Rey, that’s a rule.” Rose said leaving Ben feeling smug and Rey with a pout.

“Whatever. Let’s just play Scrabble.”

Their food came and Ben was pleased by what Rey had picked out for him. It was nice to know she knew what he liked. As for her own meal, she’d finished it in a matter of minutes, before Ben and Rose had barely started.

“Woah Rey, did you even chew that?” Rose said jokingly.

“Sorry but period pain just makes me hungry, like I can make it go away if I eat something.”

“Totally, it’s like I’m feeling empty because there’s no baby in there so I’ll just fill it with a food baby instead.”

“And I don’t want a baby in there. I’ve never been so relieved when I started yesterday, to know that the condoms worked and everything, then I remembered that I now have to put up with the rest of it.”

“I know. I still celebrate each time I come on even though I haven’t had sex in months. It’s like why is my body punishing me for not getting pregnant when it’s not what I want?”

Ben just sat there mildly horrified, eyes darting between the two women, unsure what he should say, what he could say. He and Rey had already had a similar conversation the previous night when she informed him that she just wanted a nice warm cuddle. He didn’t know that women talked like this in public.

“Sorry Ben.” Rey said noticing his discomfort.

“Do you um, do you talk about this often?” Ben asked unsure of what else to say.

“Only when it’s relevant.” Rose said. “And really only to complain about it.”

“Right, yes, um, could we talk of something else?” Ben said floundering.

“Poor Benny.” Rose said. “Anyway, when we were trying to figure out where to go, I wanted to go to Cloud City Lounge because we were dressed kind of nice but Rey said no.”

“Well I didn’t think you’d want to be ambushed by your uncle.” Rey said resting her hand on his.

“Yes and if you had suggested that I would have vetoed it.” Rose looked a bit mift so he added: “But if you wanted to go, I could probably get you a table. It’s just if you wanted to go with me, you’d just have to give me a little more time to prepare.”

“Is your uncle really that bad? Everyone has an embarrassing uncle.” Rose said.

“Maybe, but Lando has no self control, flirts with everything that moves and doesn’t care what anybody thinks.”

“Sounds fun.” Rose smirked and Rey chuckled.

“Fine.” Ben said holding up his hands in defeat. “Just don’t go there on a date because he will give you the key to a very seedy hotel room.”

“I’m sure it’s not that seedy.” said Rey.

“And you aren’t exactly putting me off.” said Rose.

“Whatever. I thought we were here to play Scrabble.”

Ben ended up winning the game, then watched in amazement as Rey devoured a giant slice of chocolate cake by herself. And he liked Rose which was the main objective of this outing.


	8. May

Ben sat on his laptop staring at the listings for glitter magic unicorns trying to decide which one to get Alice for her birthday. He passed the laptop to Rey who was sitting at the other end of the sofa.

“I don’t know, you choose.” he said.

“Wow, you’re giving me such a responsibility.” she said dryly. “Which ones does she already have?”

“That blue one and that green one, I think.” Or at least those were the ones he’d seen her playing with. Maybe he should check.

“Ok. That white and purple one and the yellow and pink one.” Rey said handing the laptop back to him.

“But that’s two.”

“It is.”

“But after the other week, I’ve decided that I shouldn’t spoil them any more.”

Rey let out a short laugh. “We both know that won’t last very long. Anyway, one’s from me.”

Ben looked at her. “Really? You want to get her a present after everything that happened?”

She shrugged. “It’s more of an olive branch. Besides, she’ll be expecting two presents since there are two of us.”

“Getting the hang of their logic I see.”

“It’s actually quite fun to take everything literally though annoying to everyone else.”

Ben put the two glitter magic unicorns into his cart and selected next day delivery.

“Are you sure you still want to come to Alice’s party? I’m sure they’ll understand if you don’t” he said.

“No I’m going.” Rey said. “I’m made of harder stuff and I’m curious to see if she’s changed her attitude.”

“So am I actually.” he said putting his laptop away. “So how are you going to be paying me back for this second glitter magic unicorn?”

Ben gently pulled the collar of Rey’s top so he could kiss her exposed shoulder.

“Are we really going to use sex as a payment?” she said, though she wasn’t pulling away. In fact she was leaning into his kisses.

He stopped. “Unless you actually want to give me the money?”

“I was going to buy you lunch tomorrow, but this is much better.” Rey said then grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him back in for a kiss.

***

Ben hid the pink gift bag containing Alice’s presents behind his back so she wouldn’t see it right away, before he rang the doorbell. He had a feeling she would answer it and that Gwen and Hux were fighting a losing battle trying to make sure their daughter didn’t answer the front door.

Sure enough, Alice answered the door straight away looking sweet in her yellow party dress and red hair in high bunches, followed by her mother shouting at her from the kitchen.

“But it’s only Uncle Ben and Rey with my presents.”

Gwen sighed loudly. “Whatever. Let them in then.” and she went back into the kitchen to finish what she was doing.

“You did get me a present didn’t you?” Alice asked sweetly. As Ben had hoped, she hadn’t noticed. He wondered what would happen if he ever turned up without one.

“Maybe.” he said with a smile, holding out the bag for her to see and making the little girl very happy.

“Did you get me two?” she asked peeking inside the bag then looking up at them both with her big blue eyes.

Rey gave Ben a knowing look. She’d figured out that Alice would want two presents.

“Yay!” Alice cheered and snatched the bag from him.

“You’re not opening them now. Put them with the others.” Gwen shouted from the kitchen. She knew her daughter so well that she didn’t even have to put her head round the door.

“Fine.” Alice grumbled and to their surprise took Rey’s hand and led her into the sitting room. Ben smiled as he followed them. It was good to see that Alice was making an effort to be nice.

Gwen’s brother and sister-in-law were sitting on one of the black leather sofas. Before he could introduce them to Rey, Alice did it herself.

“This is Auntie Siv and this is Uncle Keldo. He only has one leg.” she said. “This is Rey, she has no parents.”

“Alice.” Ben said sternly. He knew Rey didn’t like bringing up her parents and it wasn’t very polite to point out someone’s disabilities like that, but Alice didn’t seem to pay him any attention. At least Keldo took it in good humour.

“Maybe I should have given you a run down of everyone who was going to be here.” Ben said. He knew that Gwen had invited her family so that there would be enough adults to deal with Alice and her little friends. Maybe he should quickly warn her about Gwen’s father.

But before he could Alice came back into the sitting room with the man himself.

“Rey come meet my Grandpa.”

“Captain Kenneth Phasma. You can call me sir.” He was a very proud military man and even though he was now retired, he still spoke to everyone like he was their commanding officer. “Rey is a very unusual name for a woman.”

Alice answered before Rey could. “It’s short for Rachel.” That was the other thing he did, call everyone by their full given name. Everyone in the house hated it, especially Bertie.

“Well Solo, good to see you’re finally back in the saddle, just don’t break up with this one in public at a family function.”

Ben frowned at him and saw Rey was doing the same but then she turned to him and it looked like she was about to ask him something but before she could, Alice dragged her off so she could go meet her grandma.

“Did you really have to say that sir?” Ben grunted. Captain Phasma could be very intimidating, Hux was down right scared of him sometimes, but right now Ben was too annoyed to care.

“What? The whole incident nearly ruined my daughter’s wedding.” he said indignantly.

“Actually, I think Gwen was quite pleased with how things went down.” Keldo said. “I mean I knew the woman for less than a day and I hated her.”

“Yeah,” Sive said. “She called me fat and Torbi an ugly baby.”

“Yes I know. I made a mistake when I was younger for staying with Carise as long as I did and probably for being with her in the first place.” Ben said. “But I’ve got a much, much, much better thing going on with Rey but everyone keeps bringing Her up.”

He hadn’t meant to shout at Gwen’s family. He was just frustrated. Any awkward atmosphere was defused by the arrival of Alice, Alfie and their grandma.

“What are you guys talking about?” Barbra Phasma asked sitting down and passing Alfie to Siv for more cuddles.

“Nothing.” Ben said.

“Ben’s girlfriend.” Keldo said at the same time.

“Ah yes. Rey seems very nice. I know it hasn’t really got anything to do with us, but since you are close to our grandchildren, it’s nice to know that they like her.”

“You do?” Ben turned to Alice who gave him a look of complete innocence.

“Yes. They were telling us all about her this morning.” Ben was about to ask exactly what that entailed, but the doorbell rang.

“Armie, can you come out here and do something useful.” they heard Gwen shout from the kitchen.

But he wasn’t fast enough for his daughter, none of them were, as she ran to get the door expecting her friends and presents.

Alice was disappointed to find it was only Bertie’s friend Hugo, invited so he could have someone to play with, and slammed the door in the face of the poor boy and his father.

“Alice, you don’t just slam the door in people’s faces.” Hux said coming into the hallway from wherever he had been hiding.

“First you tell me not to open the door, now you’re saying I can’t close it on people I don’t want to see.” Alice said haughtily.

“That’s not the point Alice.” Hux said angrily then completely masked over this to answer the door. “Hugo, Mr Fairchild. I am so sorry. Alice come and apologise.”

“Why? It’s my birthday.”

“Alice.” Father and daughter stared each other down.

“Is there a problem here?” Captain Phasma asked, coming up to stand behind his granddaughter. Ben thought if there was anyone more guilty of spoiling Alice more than himself it was her grandfather.

“No, no problem sir. It’s fine.” stammered Hux. “Come on Hugo. You can pick him up in a couple of hours Mr Fairchild.”

Hugo came in and gave Alice a wary look and a wide berth.

“Bertie, Hugo’s here.” Hux called and the boy came barrelling on through from the playroom.

“Hi Rey,” he said as he ran through the kitchen. “Bye Rey.” he said as he ran back through with Hugo so they could go play in the garden.

Soon enough, Alice’s three little friends, Isabella, Kelsy and Faryal, did turn up and her mood improved significantly.

“Uncle Ben, are you going to do crafts with us?” Alice asked as everyone made their way into the kitchen.

“Not today kid. What you’re doing is way too fiddly for my big hands.” An obvious lie if Alice were to think about it. He had no trouble braiding her hair. But she didn’t and let him go.

Ben was about to see how Rey was doing, as she had stayed in the kitchen after Alice had dragged her in there, but Gwen was in full military mum mode and passed Alfie over to him.

“Take Alfie outside with you.” she said.

“Why?” he asked, readjusting his hold on her baby.

“Choking hazards Ben.” Gwen said sweeping her arm over the table covered in pots of brightly coloured beads for the girls to make friendship bracelets out of.

“Right, Dad, Armie, Keldo outside.” she continued.

“I think you are being quite discriminatory there by segregating us.” Keldo said for no other reason than to annoy his sister.

“Do you want to play with the beads?”

“No.”

“Then go outside.” Gwen turned her attention back to the girls in the room. “Ah, Frey, Torbi there you are. You remember our friend Ben, this is his girlfriend Rey. Rey would you mind helping Isabella.”

Gwen continued to give orders as Ben stepped outside with Alfie. He gave Rey a wink and she grinned back.

He handed Alfie off to Hux who had sat himself down on the patio chairs with his father and brother in law. They all had an excuse not to run around after the two five year olds, Ben did not.

Ben felt something pull on his arm. He looked down to find Frey looking at his watch.

“Hi Mr Solo. You have a nice watch.” she said.

“Thanks.” he said wondering what she was really up to.

“Daddy, why don’t you have a nice watch?”

Keldo barked out a laugh. “Because I can’t afford one, that’s why.”

“Ok, bye.” Frey said and skipped back inside with a piece of black cord in her hand.

Alfie had decided that he’ d had enough of being held and wanted to be free, so Hux put him down and he started to crawl away.

“Put the baby on the grass please.” Gwen called out from inside.

Ben sighed and picked Alfie up to put him on the grass. If Gwen wanted to get the grass stains out of the little pair of dungarees her son was wearing, that was her deal.

“Don’t kick the ball at your brother.” Hux called over to Bertie and Hugo.

So instead of kicking the ball around with the older boys, Ben spent his time stopping Alfie crawling into the flower beds and eating dirt. Not quite as fun.

Alfie decided that not being allowed to do what he wanted wasn’t fun either so crawled away from the edge of the lawn towards his brother. That kind of put a stop to their game.

“Alfie’s too little to play with us Uncle Ben.” Bertie moaned.

“I know but he wants to play with you.” Ben watched as Alfie climbed on top of the ball and immediately rolled off again making him giggle.

“Bertie, Hugo time for food.” Gwen called from the patio door. “Please wash your hands before you touch any of it.”

The two boys raced inside, Alfie’s gaze followed them from where he sat at Ben’s feet. He was about to bend down and pick him up when Alfie’s little hand reached up and grabbed the material of Ben’s trousers and began to pull himself up.

“Hey Gwen.” Ben called as he realised what was happening.

“Yeah, I see it.” Gwen said coming out of the house, leaving the other children in the kitchen. “What’s my big boy doing?”

Now fully on his unsteady feet, Alfie looked around him in amazement then up at Ben with a big, proud smile of his face.

“Good job kid.” Ben told him.

Having managed to stand up the next step would be to take an actual step, or failing that, to stand without the assistance of Ben’s leg. But Alfie wouldn’t let go and Gwen really had to pry him off to let Ben go free.

Ben went back inside. He wanted to see how Rey was doing and Alfie’s first steps were more of a private family thing anyway. The little boy beamed as he held his mother’s hands and the adult members of his family gave him attention.

Alice wasn’t happy.

“It’s my birthday and I can walk.” she said sulkily, watching them out the patio doors.

“I know but people get excited when baby’s do things for the first time.” Ben said. “I’m paying you attention so stop sulking.”

As it appeared that he and Rey were the only adults left inside to supervise the children, Ben figured he should take charge.

“Right. Has everyone got all the food they want?” He was met with a chorus of high pitched cheers. “Ok then, we’re going to go through to the sitting room so you can eat and watch Porg Island.” He passed Rey the picnic blanket that was still folded up on the side. “Frey, Torbi are you going to come through?”

“No thank you.” both girls answered at the same time. They were still busy making their bracelets and they were old enough to look after themselves.

“How’s it going?” he whispered to Rey after she’d laid out the blanket and the children were settling down, pulling the cushions off the sofa to get comfortable.

“Yeah,” she smiled and held up her wrist. “I made Rose a bracelet.”

“That’s nice.” he said though he didn’t know how much her friend would appreciate the gift.

Ben took control of the TV and asked Alice, Hugo, Feryal and Rey to each pick an episode for them to watch. He especially liked Rey’s choice. The one where Percy and Penny met Kylo the sea serpent for the first time was one of his favourites too.

It was surprising how well the children sat through the episodes even though they had been out for six months now. Ben was a modest person but he couldn’t help but feel proud that he had helped make something that the children loved. Not just them, but Rey too. She looked like she was having a great time.

“Uncle Ben,” Bertie asked when the credits were rolling on the last episode. “When are there going to be new episodes of Porg Island?”

All the children, and Rey, turned and looked at him eagerly.

“We’re working on it, so sometime next year.” Ben replied. That reminded him, Chewie had sent him some updates that he really should look over.

“Right, who wants cake?” Gwen made a reappearance with a very tired looking Alfie in her arms. He was fighting to stay awake as there were too many people and too much going on that he didn’t want to miss.

“We’re have caterpillar cake again?” Rey whispered to Ben as they watched Hux light the four candles stuck into the creature’s back.

“What’s wrong with caterpillar cake? Everyone likes caterpillar cake Rey.” Yes they’d had it for Alfie’s birthday and they would have it for Bertie’s and if Gwen and Hux bothered, they’d have it then too. But what did it matter? It was good cake.

Before Rey could say anything back, Frey and Torbi slipped something onto each of their wrists. “We made you something.” they said at the same time.

Ben looked down to see that they had made them matching green and red bracelets with R heart B on them.

“Aww. That’s so sweet. Thank you girls.” Rey said and she seemed genuinely happy with the gift. Ben smiled kindly at the girls but his bracelet would be going straight in his ‘stuff the children have made that isn’t very good but I can’t bring myself to throw away’ box when he got home.

They sang Happy Birthday to Alice and had a slice of cake. A second caterpillar appeared so they would have enough for everybody.

Then Alice and Bertie’s friends went home and Ben and Rey stayed long enough to watch Alice open her presents.

“Yay two glitter magic unicorns.” she exclaimed after ripping all the wrapping paper off. “Thank you Uncle Ben and Rey.”

“I think it’s time we got going.” Ben said after the last of the presents was opened and the living room was covered in torn wrapping paper.

“Right before we start the clean up huh?” Gwen said raising her eyebrow at him.

“Of course.” Ben said getting up.

“I don’t mind staying and helping.” Rey said.

“No it’s Ok, there are plenty of us here to get it done fast enough. Thanks for coming.” Gwen said and they said goodbye to everyone and left.

“Do you want to go out for dinner?” Ben asked. He was very hungry.

“That would be nice.” Rey said.

“I was thinking.” she said as they got on a half empty train going towards central Coruscant. “About what Gwen’s dad said.”

“Don’t listen to anything he says.” Ben had put the whole incident aside. “He doesn’t know how to talk to civilians.”

“Oh I’m not. When you break up indeed. But what did he mean by in public at a family function?”

Ben sighed. He may as well tell Rey a bit about Carise as everyone kept bringing her up.

“Has it really been seven years?” Rey asked when he was done.

“Well there were a few other people when I tried to put myself out there when I was getting tired of being alone, but they never lasted very long and I never introduced them to anyone. You’re the first person in a while to meet my friends and family. You are very special to me Rey.”

“Oh Benny.” He didn’t like the nickname but he did when she used it.

***

Ben and Rey were walking home from the station after a long day at work but the weather that evening was perfect and it was helping to relieve the stresses of the day and their commute.

“If you wanted to, when we get home, we could book our trip to Dreamworld.” Ben said.

“Oh you were serious.” Rey said. They had briefly discussed it on the way to Alice's birthday party at the weekend since the children were going at the beginning of the summer holidays.

“Of course I was. Are you still up for it?”

“Yeah, I should be able to afford it. I have saved up quite a bit of money.” She smiled up at him, looking proud with herself. “It’s so nice being paid more than minimum wage and not having to spend every penny just to survive.”

Ben squeezed her hand tighter. Rey had told him about how she’d had to balance multiple part time jobs and school work since she was sixteen in order to save just enough to get out of Jakku. He felt bad that she’d had to go through all that and he’d never had to worry about money, ever.

“Even with all the Space Wars books that you’ve bought?” he asked to lighten the mood a little.

“Yes, I haven’t gone that mad.” Rey playfully bumped him into a low hanging tree. “No matter how crazy you think I am, there is always someone crazier out there, so you shouldn’t make fun of me.”

“I know, but you have to admit that you do get obsessed with things.”

“Yes but I could be worse.”

They had settled into a routine whenever they got back to Ben’s. They would dump their bags, jackets and shoes, have a quick freshen up, then get on with cooking their dinner. Rey was always hungry and she was much happier when she had eaten.

On the menu tonight was pea and prawn risotto.

Ben started getting everything out of the cupboards and fridge; prawns, butter, onion, garlic, rice, peas, white wine. They only needed to use a small amount of that so it was an excuse to drink the rest.

He rooted round one cupboard looking for stock cubes and came up empty handed. Damn, he thought. He could have sworn he had some.

He started taking everything out of the cupboard in case they were hidden behind something and he’d missed them. But no, he didn’t have any.

“Damn!” he said loudly, slamming the cupboard door shut. At least it would have slammed if he didn’t have quiet close cabinets.

“What’s wrong?” Rey asked. She was stood behind him waiting to start cooking like she usually was.

“We don’t have any stock cubes.” Ben said not turning to face her. He was angry at the stock cubes for not being in the cupboard and himself for not checking, but mainly the stock cubes.

“Are they important?” Rey asked.

“Kind of.” Dinner was ruined. The evening was ruined. Everything was ruined. Stupid cubes.

“Shame you didn’t remember. Then we could have stopped at one of the shops on the way back.” Rey said, oblivious to his internal crisis.

Ben took a deep breath. It was fine. They just had to go back out to the shop.

“You’re right. I’m going back out, do you -” he turned around to ask Rey if she wanted to come with him, only to find that she had moved out of the kitchen and had curled up in the corner of his sofa with her book. At least that answered the question.

“Never mind. I’ll be back in a bit.” he sighed and put the stuff that needed to back in the fridge.

Ben stomped his way back to the shop near the station. He realised he hadn’t been this angry or annoyed in ages and he didn’t like it. At first it was just the lack of stock cubes and that he forgot to check, now he was wondering why he lived so far away from the shop.

When he got to the shop, he bought four big boxes of stock cubes so he wouldn’t run out in a hurry, if at all, and some chocolate that he angrily scoft down in an effort to calm down and to keep him going. He still had to walk all the way back home, again.

Rey jumped slightly when he walked through his front door, it was kind of cute. He saw that she was on the phone.

“Who are you talking to?” he asked quietly as he put his many boxes of stock cubes away in the kitchen cupboard.

“Your parents.” she said just as quietly.

Ben froze. He hadn’t talked to them in a while, Mother’s Day come to think of it. But why had they phoned Rey? How had they got her number?

“Ben?” Rey called across the room signalling that his parents wanted to speak to him as well. “Ok. Bye Leia, bye Han.”

She passed the phone to him and he frowned when he saw that it was his own. He hadn’t realised he had left it behind. He took it and went into his home office to answer it.

“What do you want?”

“Is that any way to speak to your mother Benjamin?” He must have annoyed her if the full name was coming out.

“Sorry.” He rubbed his eyes. “It’s been a long day.”

“Well don’t take it out on me. Or Rey.” said Leia.

“I would never. I’ll take it out of the stock cubes.”

“What?”

“Doesn’t matter. Why are you calling?”

“It’s just I heard you went to Naboo. Did you go to see Grandma?”

“Yeah we did.” Ben said solemnly.

“Good. Now we were wondering if you’d consider coming to Alderaan next month.” said Leia.

“Why?” he asked.

“Because we haven’t seen you in ages and we want to see Rey again. Don’t you think it would be nice to show your girlfriend where you grow up? You can take her to the Midsummer Festival.”

“I’ll think about it.” Ben said. He’d rather go to Dreamworld but the Midsummer Festival could be fun too. “Was there anything else?”

“Your girl agrees with me about the little devil.” Han piped up.

“Han, don’t call her that, she’s just a little girl.” Leia scolded.

Ben muttered something they couldn’t hear.

“What was that son?” Han said.

“You may have been right.” Ben said quietly and reluctantly.

“You hear that Leia. I was right. Wait, about what?”

“About Alice being a little madam and having me wrapped around her finger.”

“Wow. never thought you’d admit it.”

“Yeah well, she wasn’t very nice to Rey and it kind of opened my eyes a bit.” It was all quiet on the other end of the line. “But it’s ok now. No food has been thrown since.”

“Ben,” Leia started, sounding a little concerned.

“Well would you look at the time? I really should start on dinner. Rey isn’t very happy when she doesn’t have food. Bye.” He hung up before they could say anything. He always found it hard to talk to his parents and this time they were dangerously close to talking about feelings and that would never do.

When he came back out into the sitting room, Rey was still on the sofa but she looked a little uncomfortable.

“Are you mad at me for answering your phone?” she asked meekly. He paused for a moment. Did she think he was mad to her? Did he look like he was mad?

“Not really. I hate seeing the missed call and voicemail notifications and I never do anything about them.” So maybe he should thank her and his mother would too as her call wasn’t ignored for once.

Ben turned his attention back to their postponed meal and started getting everything back out again.

“Besides, I should talk to them more and you, you should get to know them.” Maybe he would take her to the Midsummer Festival. It was only once a year and Dreamworld wasn’t going anywhere.

“Good.” Rey smiled at him again. “Now what do you want me to do?”

Ben placed an onion on the chopping board in front of her. “I need you to cut up this onion as small as you possibly can.”

“You are so petty Solo.” She pouted at him and he smiled. He had to punish her somehow for making him go back to the shop alone.

***

Ben spent the whole journey home wondering what was different about Rey. she wasn’t really acting differently. She was still talking to him, well shouting at him over the sound of the train. Still smiling brightly, still leaning into him to show affection. Just the same amount of tiredness after a day at work.

It wasn’t her hair. She hadn’t gone off at lunchtime to get it cut and she was waiting for him to notice. He would have noticed right away, he was very particular about hair.

It wasn’t her clothes. The blouse, skirt and cardigan she was wearing had been in his wardrobe for the past few weeks. He’d washed them, he’d ironed them so it wasn’t that.

Rey’s handbag was the same big, sturdy, brown one he’d always seen her carry. It wasn’t very pretty but it did what she needed it to do.

Wait a minute, Ben thought. That’s it.

“What is?” Rey asked turning to face him and he realised he had said it out loud. They had almost made it back to his building.

“I thought there was something different about you today, and I’ve just figured it out.” he said both sheepishly and triumphantly.

“Okay.” Rey said slowly as he let them inside.

“You usually carry your bag on your right shoulder, but today it’s on your left.”

“And it feels so wrong.” she said overdramatically.

“Then why are you doing it?”

“My other arm hurts.”

“Why?” he asked as they made it up to his apartment.

“Umm,” she said, kicking off her shoes and dumping her bag. Rey nodded towards the bedroom. Ben followed her slightly confused. She sat on the end of the bed and gestured for him to join her.

“So I’ve been thinking.” she said. “That since we’ve been having a lot of sex. Maybe not a lot but when you go from nothing to almost every night, it’s a lot you know.”

“Yes.” Ben said but he had no idea where her ramblings were going.

“Anyway, I don’t think that condoms are a long term solution. They can’t be that good for the environment and the cost must be adding up.”

“So what are you saying?”

“I’m saying that at lunchtime I went to the clinic and I got an implant. See.” She slipped off her cardigan to show him the big, white, square dressing on her arm.

Ben had wondered why she said she couldn’t meet him for lunch. He was proud of her for taking her health into her own hands, and a bit impressed, it was a brave thing to do.

“Don’t they use a massive needle?”

“I didn’t look but it hurt even with the local anaesthetic.” Rey said. She flinched her arm away when he tried to touch it. “Sorry, it’s kind of sore and I’m going to have the biggest bruise.”

“I can see that.” The skin blooming out from under the bandage was already turning purple. “So how long until it starts to work?”

“The nurse said a week so she gave me some free condoms.”

“And I still have a drawer full.” Ben said wiggling his eyebrows.

Rey laughed. “Are you suggesting that we use them all up?”

He shrugged. “I’m game if you are.”

***

Ben thought that was the worst idea he’d ever had. On paper it sounded great, sex and lots of it. But he was just tired and he ached all over. He wondered if he was just old.

Rey always seemed to be up for it. She barely had any recovered time and she was insatiable. He’d had to ask her to go back to her own place before the week was even up just so he could have a night to himself. She’d responded by giving him the silent treatment for an entire day.

Ben sighed as he looked at all the text messages he’d sent her that went unanswered. He’d have to get her a toy to play with, that might placate her.

In the end, she came around when he promised to take her to a shop Saturday that, according to the reviews, had the best brownies in Coruscant.

“I’m sorry about the way I acted.” Rey said as they stood waiting in the queue, they weren’t the only ones who wanted the best brownies in the city. “I think I just wanted your attention and when you sent me home, it felt like you didn’t want me anymore.”

“I know the feeling and maybe I could have said it better.” They had already apologised but they still felt bad. “Sorry I’m too old to keep up with you.” Ben said but there was humour in his voice.

“It’s ok, at least you buy me food.” Rey said, wrapping her arms around his and he leaned down and kissed her forehead.

“Maybe it’s better if we calm things down a bit. I mean we don’t have to take our clothes off to have a good time.”

“Ben Solo, are you quoting song lyrics?” Rey asked laughing.

“I didn’t mean to.” he said smiling back.

They eventually got a box of brownies in a variety of flavours. There was nowhere that nearby to sit so they ended up leaning against a wall so they could try their sweet treats.

“Umm, so good.” Rey moaned with her mouth full of a brownie that had dried raspberries on top. Ben had a salted caramel piece and he totally agreed. The place definitely deserved it’s reputation.

The brownies were good but they were so rich that you could only have one small piece at a time.

“Right,” Ben said putting the box in a bag. “Where do you want to go now?”

“Let’s go,” Rey looked both ways down the street trying to decide. “This way.”

They set off. Ben didn’t know where they were going but they’d end up somewhere eventually.

Rey suddenly stopped and turned around with a big smile on her face. It was her manic, creepy smile that she used when she wanted something that she liked but he didn’t.

Ben looked in the store window they had stopped next to, then up at the sign, then back at Rey.

“No.” he said and went to keep walking but she blocked his path.

“Come on Ben, we’re already here.”

He looked back in the window, at all the superhero memorabilia, movie props, comics, statues and books. They had arrived at Rey’s favourite comic book store.

“You did this on purpose.” Ben said.

“No. You wanted brownies. It’s just a happy coincidence that this was nearby.”

“Fine. Knock yourself out. I’ll just stay here and eat your brownie.” He moved to the side and leaned up against a wall covered in old band posters.

“You know you look weirder standing out here than you would inside. There’s always loads of confused old people in there.” She pulled on his arm but not enough to make him budge.

“Thanks for that.”

Then she changed tactics. Standing on her tiptoes, she looked at him with hooded eyes and leaned against him so she could whisper seductively in his ear.

“If you come in with me now, you can come in me later.”

She kissed him on the corner of the month but he was too stunned to respond. No protests, not witty comebacks, he just followed her into the comic book store.

***

Ben woke up early the following Saturday morning. He didn’t mean to, he didn’t need to nor want to, but he couldn’t get back to sleep.

The early morning sun was creeping into the room around the edges of his black out curtains. It was going to be another beautiful late spring day.

Beside him was the naked sleeping form of Rey. She was laying on her front, hugging her pillow. The duvet was pushed down to her waist leaving her back exposed. Ben had to resist the urge to caress it as he might wake her up and he didn’t want to do that just yet. She looked so peaceful, a natural beauty, even if her hair was sticking out at odd angles.

For the past week, they had been slowing things down in the bedroom, taking their time and pouring their feelings into their actions. They made love, but neither of them had said the words yet. Ben knew how he felt, he just needed to find the courage to say it out loud.

Careful not to move too much as to not wake up Rey, Ben reached for her book and glasses that sat on top of his bedside table.

He was still on volume three of The Rise and Fall of the Old Republic. It had taken him a month to read each of the other two volumes. He didn’t know why it was taking so long to read volume three, he had started it at the end of March. Well, he knew, she was lying next to him.

Several pages later, Rey began to stir. She always did a really big stretch before she did anything else in the morning. She pulled up the duvet to cover herself and rolled over to face him.

“Morning.” Rey said sleepily.

“Morning.” Ben said in return, smiling at her. He always thought she looked lovely first thing in the morning. He took off his glasses and put them and his book back on the bedside table before laying down so he could take her in his arms.

“You’re still on volume three.” she observed.

Ben chuckled. “It’s a very big book and I used to read in the evenings but you’ve been distracting me lately.”

He felt Rey shiver slightly and she inched closer to him.

“You’ve been distracting me as well. Going into work with you means I don’t get my morning commute reading done.”

“Maybe we should come up with a schedule.” Ben said as he tried to smooth out some of the tangles in her hair. There was only so long he could stand seeing it in such a state. “As much as I love you, you don’t have to be here every night.”

He realised what he had said. He hadn’t meant to, it just slipped out. He had wanted it to be special when he told her for the first time, not just laying in bed having just woken up.

“I mean, as much as I love having you over here, you don’t have to be every night.” He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. He had just made it worse.

“Ben. I’m naked and in your bed, do you really think I mind you saying that you love me?” Rey said leaning up on her elbows.

“I don’t know. I just thought that you would find me disingenuous because you are.”

“You’re thinking too hard Ben.” Rey said closing the gap between them again. “I’ve been waiting my whole life for someone to say that to me. Of course I don’t mind, especially when I feel the same way.”

Ben gave her a big goofy grin. “Well then, I love you Rey.”

“I love you too Ben.” She smiled brightly back at him.

And so began their lazy day in bed.

***

“Right.” Rey said.

“Right.” Ben said right back at her.

“Maybe a sleepover schedule would be a good idea.” She was looking at something on her phone. “I mean, I’ve just paid out nearly half my paycheck for the rent of a place I’ve barely stayed at over the last month.”

Ben hummed in agreement. “In that case, how about four nights a week there, three nights here?”

“Yeah, that justifies my rent. Are we going to set nights or are we going to be flexible?”

“Up to you as you’re the one who’s going to be moving around since you don’t want to invite me round to yours.”

“No because it’s small and hot and probably smells really bad as I don’t think the fridge works and I left some chicken in there.”

“Rey, a fridge is not okay.” Ben said but she waved away his concern.

“I’ll deal with it.” she said but Ben didn’t think she was talking about getting it fixed. “So I obviously want to stay over Friday and Saturday. Oh but then that means I only have one day left and if I say Sunday it’s too long to wait for Friday to come again.”

“How about Tuesday? Then you’ve got two days with me, two on your own, one with me, two on your own, then it just repeats. That’s as evenly as we’re going to get it I think.”

“Yeah, let’s do that.” Rey smiled at him, pleased with their plan. But Ben didn’t really want to keep letting her go back to her place, didn’t want her to have her own place. He wanted her to live there with him. At least he had a working fridge and the other things she’d briefly mentioned about her place, didn’t make it sound great.

But Rey hadn’t even remotely hinted at the possibility of moving in together. So he’d wait for the day she was ready.


	9. June

Ben laughed at the picture Gwen just sent him. It was of a Porg Island themed Father’s Day card with Daddy Porg surrounded by Percy, Penny and Pip. He knew she would buy it for the children to sign for their father and what made it even better was the fact that she’d bought three. It may have been a waste of paper but it was worth it to pull a prank on Hux.

Rey had found a recipe for a caramel cake that she wanted to make. Just reading the ingredients made his teeth hurt but they hadn’t actually done any baking together so it would make a nice change.

They headed to the supermarket to pick up the ingredients he didn’t already have.

“While we’re here,” Rey said steering him down an aisle that had cards on both sides. “You may as well pick a Father’s Day card.”

Ben glanced around him. He hadn’t given Han a Father’s Day card in years and he didn’t plan on starting now. “No.” he said and tried to work off but Rey stopped him.

“Come on Ben. Do it for me?” She looked at him with big puppy dog eyes.

“I don’t like any of them.”

“You haven’t looked.” She dragged him round to face the shelf properly. “What about this one?”

_ To a wonderful father… _

“I don’t like the word wonderful. That’s not how I would describe my father.”

That was the problem with Father’s Day cards. They were made with an idealised father child relationship in mind making it difficult for those who didn’t have that.

It took them a while but they eventually found a card that Ben thought would do. It had no sentimental adjectives, just a plain and simple card that only had  _ Happy Father’s Day  _ written on the front.

He had a card but Rey wouldn’t leave it there.

“Are you going to get him a present too?” she asked.

“No why should I?”

“Because he’s your dad. Because you took your mother to afternoon tea.”

“She booked that herself and made me pay for it. If my dad was so bothered he would do the same, but he’s not and won’t, so I won’t either.”

In the end Rey won the argument, not that it was really an argument but it was the closest they’d come to one. He conceded and agreed to take Han to a distillery who’s owner they knew.

“Now will you get off my back about this?” Ben asked.

“Only when it’s all booked and you’ve told Han.”

Ben could only guess as to why Rey was so insistent on doing something for Father’s Day. After spending so many years just watching other people celebrate, she now had an excuse to participate.

As soon as they got back to his apartment, Rey made him call the old family friend who owned the distillery, Maz Kanata of Takodana Whiskey.

“Ben Solo!” she cried so loud that he had to move the phone away from his ear. Rey grinned at him from where she was putting stuff away in the kitchen.

“Hey Maz.” Ben said a bit unsure about what to say next in terms of small talk, so just got straight to the reason why he was calling. “Is it possible for me to bring Dad over for something on Father’s Day?”

“Hummm, a very popular request.” Maz said. “But since you’re special I can put a little something together. It will have to be on the Saturday mind.”

“That’s fine. Thank you Maz.”

“My pleasure. And Solo, don’t be a stranger.”

“There. I’ve done it.” Ben said to Rey once he’d hung up.

“Good boy. Now all that’s left to do is to call Han.”

Ben pulled a face, he really didn’t want to do that now.

“We could make your cake.” he said coming up to stand behind her. “Or we could,” His hands were on her slim hips, his mouth kissing her neck. He gently pushed himself against her back and…

“Nope. None of that until you tell him.” she said dancing away from him and plopping herself down on the sofa.

“Fine.” Ben flopped onto the sofa next to her, got out his phone and punched a few buttons so he could call his father.

Han finally picked up just as it was about to ring off as per usual. Rey made him put it on speaker.

“Hey Dad.” Ben said.

“Ben! Good of you to call. How are things?”

“Good. Fine. The reason I’m calling is, since Father’s Day is coming up, Rey and I would like to take you to the Takodana Distillery.” Ben said trying to get all his words out.

“Really? That would be great, son. Thank you.” Ben looked across at Rey, she was smiling at him, that made him feel good.

“Ok, it’ll be the Saturday before as that’s all Maz could do for me, so I’ll see you there?”

“Yes I’ll see you there. I love you son.”

“Bye Dad.” Ben said and hung up. He chucked his phone onto the coffee table, leaned his head against the back of the sofa and sighed. That was a weight off his chest and it turned out it wasn’t that bad.

Rey shuffled closer to him. “Well done darling. Do you want to be left alone?”

“No I’m fine.” he said and she crawled onto his lap.

“Good. Now that you’ve done that, you can do me.” He couldn’t help but burst out laughing. “I’m sorry was that too tacky?” she said but she was laughing hard too.

“You’ve just embarrassed yourself haven’t you?” Ben asked as she slid off his lap and went back into the kitchen.

“Not really.” she said opening a cupboard. “It’s just you here and you love the stupid things I say.”

“So true.” he said getting up to join her since sex had now been taken off the table. “Do you want to make your cake?”

“Yeah in a minute.” Rey said looking at the thing she had just taken out the cupboard. It was a little bottle of whiskey left over from Christmas that had escaped his notice.

“You know, I’ve never had whiskey and if I’m going with you to the distillery, maybe I should try some.”

“It’s half two in the afternoon and you don’t like drinking.” Ben reasoned.

“I don’t like excessively drinking.” she pointed her finger at him. “Besides this is only a small amount.”

“Ok then.” he said and poured the miniature bottle into a glass with some ice.

“Cheers.” Rey said and took a sip. She immediately started coughing. “Oh God, why does it burn?”

Ben tried not to laugh as he patted her on the back. “Does this mean that you won’t be coming with us?”

***

Ben woke up alone on Monday morning, it was what he and Rey had decided but he didn’t like it. He wanted to roll over and cuddle up to her warmth, staying in bed as long as possible before they really had to get up to go to work.

But it was for the best really. Their sleep schedule made Rey feel better about paying her rent and it allowed them to focus more on their individual hobbies that had lapsed over the past few weeks. For Ben that meant getting back into his early morning workout routine.

In the winter and on rainy mornings he would stay in and workout in his home gym, but in the summer he preferred to make the most of the good weather and early morning sunshine and head out and do a five mile circuit around the park near his house.

As he jogged past trees, ponds and early morning dog walkers, Ben wondered whether Rey would ever consider joining him. She definitely had stamina for some things, why not running? He would ask her on Wednesday morning.

When Ben got back, he threw his sweaty workout clothes straight in the wash basket and hopped in the shower. 

Once he’d shaved and dried his hair, he got dressed. It was the same as always black trousers and long sleeved white shirt. The monochrome was broken by all of the colourful ties he had acquired. Rey had hidden his old black ones somewhere and he was yet to find the, so he was stuck wearing the new ones on rotation.

He was about to head out into the kitchen when he heard his phone ring. It was his mother.

“Hell Mother. It’s a bit early isn’t it?” She sometimes forgot that Alderaan was a couple of hours ahead of Coruscant.

He wondered what she wanted this early in the morning. If it was about visiting for the Midsummer Festival, he hadn’t done anything about that. Maybe he should, considering it was only a couple of weeks away.

“Ben.” Leia said. She sounded all choked up and that sound made his stomach drop and heart pound like he was anticipating bad news.

“Mum, what is it?”

“Let me talk to him Leia.” someone next to his mother said. It sounded like his Uncle Luke.

“No, I can do this.” she said, her voice was weak.

“Mum?”

“It’s your father.” Leia said after a brief pause. “He hadn’t been looking well all afternoon and then last night he had a heart attack.” she broke herself off with a sob and all Ben could do was listen. “By the time the doctors got here it was too late.”

“What are you saying?” Ben said unable to process what he’d just heard.

“He died, Ben. Your father just passed away.”

Ben started breathing heavily. This couldn’t be happening. He’d just talked to him, they’d made plans.

He brought his phone away from his ear but didn’t hang up. Luke and Leia were still talking but he didn’t hear any of it. There was a ringing in his ears like that of white noise and his chest felt tight making it difficult to breathe.

“Ben?” Are you still there?” his uncle’s voice came from the phone that was now on his lap.

“Yep.” he said, his voice cracking even on that one syllable word.

“Well Kaydel can book you a flight and then send you the details. She’s very busy with everything else but she is handling it wonderfully.”

“Uh huh.” Ben muttered in agreement, almost automatically. How was his uncle making small talk now when he could barely form a word?

“Well anyway, I’ll leave you to get everything sorted at your end and we’ll see you soon.” Luke hung up leaving Ben sat limply on the edge of his bed staring at the wall in front of him.

He felt empty, hollow, numb, everything he was kind of looking forward to had now vanished. His father was gone and with him any opportunity to work on their relationship. He wanted to be better, if not for himself, then for Rey, but it was too late. He didn’t deserve it and he felt like he couldn’t go back to Alderaan now. He was a terrible person, a terrible son.

Ben didn’t know how long he stared at the wall for. He was vaguely aware that he had gotten several messages, but he couldn’t bring himself to look at them. The phone rang several times as well but he didn’t trust himself to speak.

He found himself inexplicably broken. He’d never thought he would grieve for Han Solo, to miss him. After all, he had hardly been a permanent fixture in his life, always coming and going, never agreeing on something to do together that they could both enjoy. So many arguments and disappointments. With all that in mind, Ben couldn’t understand why there were tears rolling down his cheeks.

The phone rang again and he answered it just to make it stop.

“Where are you?” It was Hux sounding frantic. “The very important meeting with The Chiss Ascendancy was meant to start half an hour ago. Mitaka has been trying to reach you all morning. Snoke is so angry he’s gone mute.”

“I err,” Ben coughed. Of course this should all happen on the day they had a pivotal meeting with a potential partner firm.

“Are you ill?” Hux asked.

Ben grunted a response. It was an easy lie to tell. He definitely didn’t feel well even if there wasn’t anything physically wrong with him.

Hux sighed. “Fine, but you really should have told us sooner. Are your proposals on your desktop? Good. I’ll get your password from Mitaka.”

When Hux hung up, Ben was left to stare at the wall again. He couldn’t even tell his best friend what was wrong. Not that he was really in a position to listen, what with the important meeting and Snoke breathing down his neck.

Ben leaned forward, elbows on his knees, head in his hands. What was he going to do? He couldn’t stay there, he couldn’t go to work and he was too guilt ridden to go back to Alderaan. There was only one place he wanted to be and that was with Rey. but she wasn’t there, she was at work. If she slept over last night, she would have been there when he got the news.

A fresh wave of dread washed over him at the thought of telling her what had happened. Oh God, he thought, this was going to crush her.

His phone had mercifully been silent for a while, but the notification noise alerted him to a new text message. It was from Rey asking if he was meeting her for lunch. They always had lunch together on days when they wouldn’t be having dinner together.

He couldn’t leave her hanging, so he just replied that he wasn’t at work and that he would speak to her later.

He couldn’t tell her over the phone, she deserved to know that her hero had died from him and face to face, but not right now. His sweet innocent Rey should be allowed to remain blissfully innocent as long as possible.

The day had somehow progressed around him without Ben realising it. He knew he must look as awful as he felt, but he couldn’t stay in his bedroom any longer, the room held no comfort for him at the moment. He needed to get out.

Ben changed out of his work trousers and shirt, they were much too tight and formal, into a pair of black sweatpants and hoodie.

Without much of a real plan, Ben headed out with just his travel card and a key. On his walk to the station, he got a few looks from parents and children on their way home from school, and who could blame them. He was a brooding giant dressed all in black on what should have been a beautiful summer’s day. But he paid them no mind and kept going to the only place he could think of that might soothe his tormented sole.

Ben got off the train at Rey’s stop. He had never done this before as the only couple of times he had been to her place was by car.

He was too weary to take in the unfamiliar station but even in his sad state he had to admit that it was nice to be out on an open air platform.

Ben just sat on a bench at the end of the platform where he knew Rey would see him. He would be there for a while with nothing but his thoughts for company in a sea of swirling emotions. They were not good company.

As the afternoon turned into evening, the number of people getting off the trains coming into the station increased. Most paid him no attention which is what he wanted, there was only one person he wished to see. He was surprised he hadn’t been asked to move along yet by the station staff.

He had given up trying to search the crowds for Rey, it was only getting his hopes up briefly just to be disappointed. But then he heard her. “Ben.” Her bright and cheery voice made him look up. She had been smiling but it faltered when she took in his appearance.

“Can I go home with you?” he asked, quiet against all the background noise but he didn’t seem to be able to project.

Luckily Rey heard him, took his hand and led him back to her place. She tried to talk to him but he couldn’t bring himself to answer, not with the gravity of what he had to tell her weighing him down.

“Well here we are.” Rey said as she led him into a small room at the top of the stairs of a narrow house. The first thing that hit him was the temperature of the room. The air was hot and stale and there was a lingering second hand smoke smell.

Rey opened the window to help alleviate the situation while Ben took a cursory glance around the room. It was just as she had described it, but it wasn’t as sad as he’d imagined it to be. There were all of Rey’s touches where she had tried to make the space her own that brightened the place up.

There was the bedside table she had made and whose drawer he knew better than to go though, the fridge that may or may not be working, and her bookshelf full of her knick-knacks and Space Wars books.

Ben saw the Texas Jack books he had bought her for Christmas and he felt another wave of emotion bubble up inside him. He sat down heavily making the metal frame creak loudly.

“I know it’s uncomfortable.” Rey said, coming to stand in front of him. “I really should look into getting a new one. Now, what’s wrong with you?”

The way she brushed his hair off his face felt nice. She thought he was ill, she wanted to look after him, make him feel better. He didn’t want to tell her but he had too.

His throat was tight and tears were painfully stinging his eyes but he managed to choke out the words: “He’s dead.”

“Who’s dead?” Rey asked, confusion painted across her lovely face. Ben didn’t want to cause her pain but he had to.

“Han.” His voice was shaky. “Han Solo is dead. My dad is dead.”

He watched the colour bleed from her face and horror fill her eyes. “What? No that can’t be. We just talked to him at the weekend. How did it happen?”

“He had a heart attack during the night. The doctors couldn’t revive him.”

Rey’s knees gave way and she sat down next to him drawing another loud creak from the bed. She couldn’t believe it and quickly her shock gave way to tears.

Ben pulled her into his arms and they held each other while they cried it out, leaving wet patches on the other’s shoulder. Crying always left Ben feeling numb. It didn’t make him feel any better but holding Rey was better than crying alone.

Rey pulled herself together first. She was a strong woman, stronger than him, Ben thought. She was so young and had been through so much. She was light and love and a balance to his dark thoughts.

“You need to go to her. Go home to you mother.” she said with his face in her hand trying to get him to look her in the eye.

Rey gently stroked his hair as he told her why he felt like he couldn’t go home. Leia didn’t need him, she was always surrounded by people who loved and admired her, he was just a black mark on her life. It was too late to fix things.

“It’s not too late. Leia’s still here. Don’t prove that horrid negative voice in your head right.” Rey said. Ben’s head was resting on her chest and he could hear her heartbeat strong and steady, comforting. “We can sort out travel and work and everything tomorrow, and we’ll go to Alderaan together. I have some holiday I can use. Holdo and everyone will understand.”

Ben nodded weakly against her. He still wasn’t looking forward to going, but he could be strong if Rey was with him. “Can I stay here tonight?” He really didn’t want to be alone right now.

“Of course you can.” She gave him a watery smile. “Do you want something to eat?”

Ben realised he hadn’t eaten all day but food was the last thing on his mind right now. “I’m not hungry, just tired. I want you to hold me.”

Rey laid down and they did their best to find a comfortable position where Ben could be the little spoon. The human contact was nice and knowing that he was in a safe space let him relax and hopefully he could get some sleep.

That idea went out the window when they were both startled by Rey’s phone going off.

“No, don't go.” Ben moaned when she got up to answer it. He instantly missed her warmth.

“Hello?” Rey said, unsure as to who was calling her. Ben couldn’t really hear much of what was being said on the other end of the phone but he knew who it was. It was Auntie Ami calling to check on him.

“Did you get any of that?” Rey asked when she’d hung up.

“We’re going to Alderaan tomorrow.” he mumbled, having not moved while Rey was on the phone. He remembered his uncle saying something about Kaydel booking him a flight.

“Hope the flight isn’t too early, we need to go back to yours to pack some things. Or we could go now?” Rey said. He appreciated her for trying to be practical and not wallow like he was.

“No I want to stay here.” he said, curling himself up even more.

“Are you sure? The bed’s awfully lumpy.” He’d noticed. It was also a bit too small for both of them.

“It doesn’t matter.” he said despondent. He deserved the pain.

Ben continued to lay on the bed while Rey busied herself packing her suitcase. He knew he should be helping, he knew he should move, but his limbs just felt heavy and he couldn’t summon the effort.

“Come on Ben, I need to close the window and you need to take your hoodie and sweatpants off otherwise you’re going to over heat.

“No.” he muttered into the pillow. He only moved to undress when Rey, not so gently, started removing his clothes for him. He felt naked in just his boxers even though that was how he usually slept.

“Goodnight.” Rey said when she came to bed and turned out the light. It was a lie. It wasn’t good for either of them.

It wasn’t completely dark in Rey’s room, her blinds let the light of the street lamps in and he could see her tightly holding Porgi and staring at the ceiling. There were tears rolling down her cheeks.

She was doing her best to cry silently but her sniffs gave her away. Ben couldn’t bear to see her cry. He reached over and wiped away the tears with his thumb. When she was growing up, she had no one to comfort her, now she did.

“You’re not alone.” he told her.

“Neither are you.” Rey said back and she was right. They were both hurting and needed each other.

***

The next morning Rey was in fully efficiency mode from the moment she woke up. Ben could tell that her sadness over yesterday’s events was still there, but at least now she had something to focus on: getting them both packed and ready and then to the airport to catch their flight.

He didn’t want to make things difficult for Rey, didn’t want to be a burden, but his mind was on a go slow and he kept dragging his feet. Every time she asked him a question about what to pack for him, all he could manage was a shrug or a grunt. He heard her sigh, every time sounding more and more disappointed. That just made me feel worse about himself and he wondered how long it would be before she gave up on him.

Ben stared out of the window of the taxi on the way to the airport. The sky was grey and it threatened to rain. It reflected his mood.

When they got to the airport, all of Rey’s confidence and need to keep going disappeared.

“I don’t know what I’m doing now.” she said quietly, looking anxiously around the large open terminal. “I’ve never been on a plane before, never been to an airport.”

Ben could see that she was blinking back the tears. She very much wanted to be strong for both of them, but things had momentarily come unstuck.

Ben knew that he had to stop moping and lead the way while they were at the airport and on the plane. He took her hand and walked up to the first class check in desk. He only let go when he had to, when they went through security.

It helped Rey’s anxiety until they got onto the plane itself. They settled into their seats, plenty of legroom just how Ben liked it, but Rey seemed to sink into her seat like she wanted to disappear.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Everyone else around us. They’re looking down on us.” she whispered.

He had a quick look around and saw what she meant. He didn’t care but she did. She much preferred to blend in than stand out which is what their hoodies and sweatpants were doing. It wasn’t typical first class attire.

“Ignore them. I’m richer than most of them and my mother’s a fucking princess.”

“But I’m no one.” Rey said meekly.

“You’re not to me. You deserve to be here.” She leaned her head against his shoulder and he rested his head on hers while the cabin crew made their way down the aisles doing final checks before take off.

Take off was much worse. Rey’s grip on Ben’s hand tightened exponentially, he almost had to ask her to let go, but when he saw the look of absolute terror on her pale face, he decided he would put up with it if it helped her just a tiny bit.

“I need Porgi, I need Porgi, I need Porgi.” she muttered on repeat as the plane gained altitude. Luckily Porgi was in her hand luggage but unfortunately that was in the overhead compartment and they had to wait until the seat belt sign went off to get it.

“Why don’t you watch a film to take your mind off things?” Ben suggested once they reached cruising altitude and Porgi had been rescued from the bag.

“What are you going to do?” Rey asked, happier now she had Porgi.

“Probably just stare at the ceiling.” He really couldn’t concentrate on a film right now. Alderaan was only a couple of hours away and he was bricking it. What was he going to say, what was he going to do?

It seemed that Rey didn’t want to watch a film either in the end for her TV screen just displayed the world map with the little plane animation and the real time facts about their flight.

The landing was particularly bumpy, it was rainy in Coruscant when they left and raining in Alderaan when they arrived: they were definitely bringing the weather with them. Rey was practically green when they finally touched down.

“I can’t wait to get out of here.” she said with her head between her knees. Ben wished he could say the same but getting off the plane meant facing reality.

They were fast tracked through the airport. Ben didn’t pay much attention, just held Rey’s hand so she wouldn’t be too scared by the guard at passport control.

It was still raining when they got outside and it was cold, colder than a June day had any right to be, but at least the way they were dressed was more appropriate for the weather than first class.

It wasn’t much of a disguise and the weather wasn’t much of a deterrent for the paparazzi that were always camped outside the airport. Though the official embassy car that had been sent to pick them up was a bit of a give away.

“Hey, ain’t that Ben Solo?” he heard one of them ask.

“Hey Ben, why are you back in the city?”

“Who’s the lady with you?”

“Hey porg lady, how do you know Solo?”

They shouted questions that he just ignored and Rey followed close behind him as they got into the car. At least it was clear by their questioning that the news hadn’t leaked. He didn’t think he could cope with being bombarded with questions about his father.

He looked across at Rey as the car pulled away to see how she was holding up. Her eyes weren’t as wide as they were and her breathing had settled. She was still holding Porgi which explained it. Somehow there hadn’t been time to put him away.

The drive back to the palace felt like agony to Ben, every minute taking him closer and closer to his mother and her grief. He hadn’t talked to her since the previous morning. She’d been more upset than he’d heard her before. He wondered what help he could be.

They pulled into the private entrance away from the crowds of tourists taking pictures outside the former royal palace despite the rain.

As soon as the car pulled up, a couple of footmen came and collected their bags, his mother’s staff were nothing if not efficient. That just left Ben and Rey standing at the bottom of the steps leading to the front door.

Ben stared up at the building that had been his childhood home and thought back on those lonely years wandering through empty rooms. He couldn’t move, he didn’t know whether he had the strength to go inside.

Rey gently pulled on his arm, ready to lead him inside.

“I don’t know what to say to her.” he said quietly. He was feeling quite ill and he probably didn’t look any better.

“Just start with hello.” she said kindly. “You’ll know what to say when we get there.”

She continued to hold his hand as they made their way to the sitting room where Leia was.

Auntie Ami and Uncle Luke were already with her but Ben was too distracted by the way Leia looked to pay them any attention. She normally looked so put together, but today her long hair was down and slightly tangled and she was wearing a t-shirt that was too big for her. It was probably his father’s.

Leia looked up at them with watery eyes once they walked into the room. It broke his heart to see her like this. Ben followed his instincts and Leia followed hers and they met in the middle of the middle of the room and embraced.

“Oh Benny.” Leia whispered, her tears set his off again.

“I’m so sorry Mummy.” It didn’t feel awkward to hug his mother like he feared, it felt nice and comforting. At that moment it didn’t feel right to think how he had missed out on this feeling as a child. They needed each other and the t-shirt still smelled like Han.

***

That night sleep didn’t come easily to Ben even though he was tired. His mind kept racing, telling him that he shouldn’t have been there, that he shouldn’t have bothered. He hated how convincing that voice was. He tried not to listen, he knew in reality that Leia was glad he’d come home.

Rey had fallen asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. He was quite envious as he looked upon her peaceful face and listened to her light snores.

The previous night they had fallen asleep in each other’s arms and that head really helped him, but tonight he didn’t want to risk disturbing her just so he could have a cuddle.

Porgi proved to be the next best thing. Rey usually didn’t cuddle him all night every night, but he was in the bed with them, she liked to have him close by.

The old toy bird smelled a bit funny from all the travelling they had done but he was still soft and squishy and it was what Ben needed to finally get him off to sleep.

Ben didn’t usually dream but the sounds that entered his subconscious influenced the images he saw before he woke up and became aware again.

There was a large bird that made the sound of a ringing phone standing in front of him. When it stopped squawking and took off, it threatened to knock his dream self off his feet.

In real life he clung to Porgi to keep himself anchored. As he became more aware he realised how ridiculous that was.

Waking up fully he found himself alone in bed. Rey had got up and he could faintly hear talking down the hallway from his room through the slightly open bedroom door.

The talking turned into crying and a concerned Ben crawled out of bed and peaked round the door frame. There Rey was sitting on a window ledge, her knees brought up and crying.

Before Ben could leave the room to go comfort her, Leia appeared and got to her first. He froze in place, Rey didn’t need him if she had Leia.

“It’s ironic really.” he heard his mother say quietly because of the distance. “Han hated to see anyone upset yet he’s the one making us feel this way.”

Leia held Rey against her as she cried. Ben was confused as to how he felt. On the one hand he was glad that his mother liked his girlfriend, on the other he wondered how she could act so warmly to someone she barely knew and not her own son.

“I would be honoured if you let me do motherly things with you.” Leia said softly. Ben saw Rey smile at that. “I always wanted a daughter. There are reasons why Ben is an only child even though I wish he’d had a sibling to keep him company.”

Ben stepped away from the door and slid to the floor in shock. Of course his mother would have wanted a girl. Girls were easier and they’d have so much in common. But did she really regret only having him? Could he have had a little sister? He was now confused on top of everything else he was feeling.

His phone rang. He should probably ignore it, he wasn’t in the right state to talk to anyone. But the insistent buzzing wore him down until he gave in and answered the damn thing. At least he knew it could only be one of a few people.

“Ben. there you are. We’ve just heard. Why didn’t you tell me?” Hux said on the other end of the phone.

“I -” Ben didn’t really know why he hadn’t told his best friend at any point since their initial rushed and preoccupied conversation on Monday.

“I want to speak to Uncle Ben.” came a high pitched voice in the background. It could have been either Bertie or Alice, they sounded the same when they were on the phone.

“Not now, I’m speaking to him.”

“But you get to see him at work.” the little voice cried.

“He’s not at work, he’s in Alderaan.”

“Is he on holiday?”

“Not really.” Hux sighed. “Now go finish your breakfast.”

Ben heard a door close as Hux left the room to find a quiet place to finish the conversation.

“It hurts Armie.” Ben choked, not caring that he’d used his friend's first name that he hated.

“I know I can’t relate but it will hurt less given time.” Hux had drunkenly said once that he couldn’t wait to dance on his old man’s grave.

“Is Rey with you?” he asked and Ben hummed his affirmative. “Good. You’re not alone Ben. I know I’m not the best at this but if you need anything, just let us know, me or Gwen ok?”

Ben’s floodgates burst again when his friend hung up. What was he going to do?

When Rey returned to their room she found him on the floor curled up into a ball.

***

“I heard what you said to Rey the other day.” Ben told Leia. They were alone in her office. They were supposed to be doing something but both had just ended up staring into the middle distance. “About how you’d like to be a mother to her.”

“I like her.” Leia said, breaking off staring out the window to look at him. “Where is she anyway?”

“She wanted to hear all the old stories about Dad from Lando and Chewie but I couldn’t face it.”

“Ah.” Leia said and they went back to sitting quietly. The only sound in the room was the ticking of the clock on the mantel.

“What did you mean,” Ben asked when he couldn’t stand it anymore. “When you said there were reasons why I was an only child?”

“Ben.” Leia said clutching one of the throw pillows. “You don’t want to hear about that.”

“But it affected me. If you wanted one so much why don’t I have a little sister?” He said, trying not to sound too angry. “I was so lonely as a child, just me and Nanny in this big house.”

Leia sighed. “You’re right. What we did did affect you. We should have handled it better.”

“Handled what?” Ben asked.

Leia swallowed and blinked back tears. “It’s hard to talk about even after all this time, so if you really want to know please don’t interrupt me.”

Ben nodded and Leia started to tell her story with a shaky voice.

“You won’t remember, but I had a miscarriage a month before your third birthday. Eighteen weeks, the baby was smaller than my hand. Both Han and I took it hard and we dealt with it by going back to the only thing we were ever any good at. We throw ourselves into work. Han accepted any film offer that came his way. For a time, we were apart more than we were together. I know Han had affairs, I know Lando helped him cover them up, but I found out, women always do.”

“Why didn’t you just get divorced?” Ben asked, too late to realise he was interrupting, but Leia had got over the hard part of her story and was too tired and numb to call him out.

“I don’t know, I guess deep down I still loved him. It took years, but we eventually reconciled and by then it was too late to have another baby.

“I wish you could have had a sibling, I really do,” Leia said taking his hand. “But I wished we’d handled it better more. We both fell apart on the inside, we fell apart as a couple but most regrettably we fell apart as a family. We were hurting so bad that we forgot what we had and ended up really hurting you. I’m sorry Ben.”

He didn’t know what to say, didn’t know whether knowing the truth made him feel better or not.

“I’m sorry too. I didn’t make it easy for you when you were around.” Ben suddenly got choked up. “I can’t say that to Dad.”

“Hey. It’s alright, I’m sure he heard.” Leia said and she started to rub his back between his shoulders. “You could always say something at the funeral.”

Ben shook his head.” I couldn’t even buy him a decent Father’s Day card. How can I give an eulogy?”

“It’s ok, you’re going to be there at least. You know he was so excited when you called to say you were taking him out. He went around and told everyone that his son was taking him out for Father’s Day.” Leia had been smiling fondly at the memory but then it faltered. “But then -”

“Yeah, exactly.” Ben said, leaning his elbows on his knees. “Not going to happen now.”

“No it’s not, but I think you should take comfort in the fact that the last thing you did for him was make him very happy.”

***

Fate was cruel and made the day of the funeral hot and sunny, the weather contrasting horribly with the mourners’ moods and clothes.

Ben was standing in the entrance hall of the palace with everyone else waiting to leave for the Cathedral. Rey had linked arms with him and was leaning her head against his shoulder.

Leia had done her hair, just like she promised and the whole exercise had helped calm her down after she’d argued with Chewie about wearing a suit. The incident would have been entertaining if everyone wasn’t in such a dower mood.

As they rode in the car behind the hearse, Ben tried not to look out the windows at the people lining the streets to watch the procession. By all accounts Han’s was a private funeral but, as Ben hated to admit, he meant a lot to so many people and they wanted to pay their respects. It made Ben want to crawl and hide under a rock even more. The only thing that was keeping him anchored was Rey’s hand in his.

He had to let go though, when they got to the Cathedral so he could walk in with his mother. Rey was just behind him but she felt miles away.

During the service, Ben couldn’t concentrate on anything his uncle, who was conducting the service, was saying or his mother’s sweet eulogy. His mind was taking him down a dark path. He could feel everyone’s eyes on him whispering, wondering why he wasn’t up there saying something like a dutiful son would.

The sound of laughter broke him out of it. It took him a moment to realise what the congregation was laughing at. Lando was up there telling stories that probably weren’t the most appropriate to be telling in a church, but Luke wasn’t going to stop him, he was laughing along. Even Ben raised the smallest hint of a smile.

The service should have been the worst part but it wasn’t, it was the wake. While all the other guests could relax a bit and have some food and drink, Ben and Leia were forced to accept condolences from them. Ben had no idea who most of the people were, Han had a wide sphere of friends, Leia didn’t either but she hid it better than he ever could.

The worst part by far, was that he had lost Rey. She had wandered off in search of food, he had seen her by the buffet table but now he had lost sight of her completely.

“You can take a break if you want.” Leia said quietly, she could sense him getting antsy.

“Are you sure? What about you?” he asked.

“Don’t worry about me. I’m used to doing this kind of thing.”   
  
It was probably not the most supportive thing to do, leaving his mother to greet their guests alone at her husband’s funeral, but he was in danger of saying the wrong thing to someone.

Most of the rooms at the palace were off limit to guests, so Ben had no trouble finding a quiet place to calm down. He did contemplate going back to his bedroom but if he did that the probability of him not going back was quite high.

“Oh sorry. I just went to the bathroom and now it seems I’m lost.” A man about Ben’s age came into the room and looked a bit flustered.

“Back out the door turn right then left.” Ben said, not really to be kind but so that he was left alone again.

“Thanks. Say you’re Ben aren’t you? Ben Solo.” The man asked. Ben nodded. “John Crawley.”

John offered him his hand. Ben just looked at it then up at the man’s face. Was he supposed to know who he was?   
  


John looked a little hurt and took his hand back. “I’m Maisie Ripley’s boyfriend.”

“Ah,” Ben said. He remembered back to those few weeks when he’d been rumoured to be her boyfriend. “Sorry about that, it was literally all my dad’s idea.”

“I know. Maisie explained it to me. It’s been nice in a way, to not have to keep us totally secret, just private. I get to go to events with her.”

Ben just nodded, not really sure what to say, not sure why John wasn’t leaving.

“How are you holding up?” John asked. Ben just shrugged and made a face. He was kind of fed up of being asked how he was by complete strangers.

“It must be hard, it being just you and your mum at a time like this. I mean, I’m one of four, so when my dad passed away we shared the burden between us.”

“Uh huh.” Ben said. He did not need another reminder about being an only child.

“But through it all, no matter how hard I found it, Maisie was always there for me. It made me love and appreciate her more.”

Ben looked up at John. Finally, he connected with something the man said. Rey had been there for him not just for the past week but for the past several months. He loved her, she knew that, but now he loved her so much more.

“I think we should head back.” Ben said and they headed out together.

“There’s Maisie over there.” John said. Ben looked over.

“Looks like i’m going with you as she’s talking to my girlfriend.” Rey must have been so happy to meet her favourite actress in person.

“Look who I found.” John said and Ben saw Rey’s eyes light up when she noticed he was following him.

“Hello Ben. How have you been? I’ve just been talking to Rey here.” Maisie said.

“This past week has been hard, but Rey’s been getting me through it.” Ben wanted her to know that, wanted her to know how much he appreciated her. He was rewarded with one of her smiles.

“Ladies and Gentlemen.” Lando’s smooth voice cut through the noise of the room and people began to fall silent. He was standing on top of a table, which couldn’t have been safe for a man of his age, but he had always been theatrical.

“I would like to make a toast, but before I do. Most of you know that Han was partial to a drop of whiskey. Maz Kanata of Takodana Distillery had sent us a whole case of her best vintage to help us celebrate Han’s life.”

Ben thought sadly to himself, that’s where they should have been going that weekend. He took his offered glass along with everyone else.

Lando held his glass high. “To the man who was a hero to so many. Goodbye old friend. To Han!”

“To Han!” The crowd cheered back. Ben silently raised his glass and knocked it back.

Rey took a tiny sip and started coughing. “That drink is awful.” she spluttered. Ben laughed, he thought she would have learnt her lesson after the last time.

***

“I’ve been a terrible boyfriend. I’m sorry.” Ben said. It was the day after the funeral and Ben and Rey were still in bed. No one expected them to really get up.

“It’s ok Ben.” Rey said. There were both laying on their backs staring at the ceiling.

“No it’s not. You were trying your best to distract me but I basically ignored you.” She had tried to get him to watch a movie and play a game with her, just talk, but he had retreated into himself more and more.

“You were hurting pretty bad.”

“That’s no excuse. I’m surprised you didn’t turn you back on me.”

“Why would I do that?” She turned onto her side to face him. “I love you.”

“Let me make it up to you.” Ben said also turning to face her.

“You don’t have to do that. I just want you to talk to me and feel better.”

That made Ben’s heart burst with how pure Rey was. She just wanted the best for everyone else and nothing for herself. But Ben thought she had gone long enough without someone to give her what she really wanted and needed.

“We’ve been cooped up here all week, let’s go out into the city.” he suggested.

“And what if somebody spots us?” Rey asked raising her eyebrow.

“We’ll go out in disguise. Hoodie, sunglasses, baseball cap.”

“Ha. That never works.”

“Better than nothing.” he said with a brief smile. “You know I was going to bring you to the Midsummer Festival later this month.”

“What’s that?”

“Basically a big fair and market with traditional food and performances, that kind of thing.”

“That would have been nice.” Rey said.

“Yeah. It would have been.” Ben went back to laying on his back trying not to get lost inside his head thinking of what could have been.

“How come this is the first I’ve heard about this trip?” she asked.

“You may have noticed sweetheart, that it takes me a while to get around to asking you things.”

***

Ben stared dispassionately at the pieces of junk sat in front of him. He supposed it was his piece of junk now. All he wanted to do was send it to the scrapyard but apparently the old car was worth some money.

The Millennium Falcon sat on its blocks in the garage under the formal palace, tools and parts strewn all over the place just where Han Solo had left them. For as long as Ben could remember, the Falcon had been in various states of disrepair and he was pretty sure he had never seen it in a road worthy condition.

Ben didn’t see the appeal of classic cars. With the amount of money that was spent on repairs and upkeep, why not just buy a new car that wouldn’t be, shouldn’t be, as unreliable.

“She was beautiful once.” the deep, velvety voice of Lando broke through his reverie. The man himself made his way down the cellar stairs, one hand on the banister and the other on his walking stick. He looked tired and old, just like the rest of them.

“I never should have offered her up collateral.” Lando said and put his hand on what was left of the hood of the car. “I’m sorry girl.”

The Millennium Falcon had once belonged to Lando but like pretty much everything else he owned it was won or lost on the sabacc table.

“You can have it back if you want.” Ben said drily.

“Really?” Lando’s eyes lit up.

“I mean I have no desire to keep it and I can’t see Mother keeping any of the cars, can you?”

Lando’s smile dropped. “That’s a shame. You know, Han was so excited when you were born to have a son. He had all these plans for things you could do together.”   
  
“Well he never did any of them did he.” Ben shouted, suddenly very angry. “He was barely around when I was a child and every time he tried to teach me anything about cars, one or both of us, got angry.”

“It’s a shame.” Lando said with a sigh. “You both had an idea of what the other should be but couldn’t move past that and get to know the people you actually were. You’re more similar than you think.”

“Ha.” Ben said humorlessly. He stood by a workbench and gingerly fiddled with some of the tools he didn’t know the names of. “But why couldn’t he have been more supportive of things I liked? Instead of calling them stupid just because I didn’t want to get covered in grease and oil. You know why I stopped doing those little magic shows when I was younger? It was because he said they were stupid.”

“Obviously he shouldn’t have said that, but I liked your magic shows.” Lando said.

“See? How was it that difficult? You found the time to get to know me and you didn’t come over that often. Why was it so difficult for my own father? You were the one who took me to Dreamworld when I was eight, he didn’t even show up.” Ben kicked one of the support blocks holding up the Falcon. It hurt but he wasn’t going to show it.

“What do you remember about that trip?” Lando asked having found a low bench to sit on.

“Being really excited at first but then increasingly disappointed as the person we were waiting for didn’t show up.”

“But who did show up?”

“Mr Jumbo.” The mascot of Dreamworld had gone around the whole park with them and even on some of the rides, but couldn’t have any ice cream. An army of cast members also followed them round to stop other guests bothering them by trying to get a picture with Mr Jumbo. It was a bit weird and definitely out of the ordinary now that Ben thought about it, but it had made little Ben’s day.

“Han was in that suit.”

“What?”

“We knew that he would probably get mobbed if he went, so we managed to get him the perfect disguise. You would have hated your father if people wanted to take a picture with him, but you can’t hate Mr Jumbo.”

“How, why, what?” Ben stammered trying to process it. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He was pretty sure he’d said some things to Mr Jumbo about his father.

“Han told me not to. I can keep a secret and a promise but I think maybe I should have.”

Lando scanned the gloomy and dirty workbenches for something. He reached and took something from near the back and wiped it down as best he could with an old oil rag.

When he handed it to Ben, Ben saw that it was a simple wooden picture frame. Through the smeared dirt he could see that it was a picture of Lando, Ben and Mr Jumbo taken in front of a giant circus tent.

Ben willed himself not to cry, he’d had enough of crying but the tears still stung his eyes. Had his father really let him spend twenty years thinking, resenting him for not going on a trip with him.

“You doing okay there kid?” Lando said sounding very much like Han.

Ben sniffed and wiped his face with his sleeve. “Yes.” he croaked out. “My foot hurts from when I kicked that thing.”

Lando didn’t say anything, just put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

***

“I don’t know what to do Uncle Chewie.” Ben said as he sat out of the terrace drinking juice as Chewie had been over twenty years sober. “I don’t think I can just go back to Coruscant and go back to normal.”

“Then don’t.” Chewie said matter of factually.

“What? You can’t be suggesting that I run away.”

Chewie shrugged. “Not run away exactly, but it’s obvious that you need some more time to heal. I’m going to go to my cabin in the woods for a bit, you should join me.”

Ben seriously considered it. “But what about Rey? I can’t just leave her.”

“She’s a smart girl. She’ll understand if you tell her you need to go away for a while.”

Ben looked out over to the mountains in the distance, there really were some spectacular views from the palace, it was nearly sunset. He really wanted to go but felt like he would be abandoning Rey.

“I like her. She’s good for you.” Chewie said, they had been talking quite a bit over the past week. “Did you know she was at that porg event we did at Coruscant zoo? Some coincidence huh?”

Ben smiled as he remembered. “Yeah. We kind of kept bumping into each other those first few months.”

“Aww, it’s almost like you were fated to be together.”

Ben playfully pushed his uncle while Chewie laughed and Ben felt his cheeks go red from embarrassment.

“But seriously, I think she’ll be okay if you want to stay with me for a bit.

“I’d like that.” Ben said. He knew that Rey was strong from all she had endured growing up, she would survive and he promised himself that he would be better when he returned.

“Hey guys.” Rey said as she came out onto the terrace to join them. “What are you up to?”

“Just talking.” Chewie said. Ben was glad that was all he said. He’d prefer to tell Rey he was going away when they were alone. “What about you?”

“I was just wondering if Ben wanted to watch the sunset with me.”

Chewie made a gagging sound that made Rey laugh. Ben felt like flicking the half melted ice cubes from his drink at him. “Well I’ll leave you two lovebirds to do that.” He slapped Ben on the shoulder and went inside.

“The view from here is so nice.” Rey said sitting down next to Ben. “But I’m kind of looking forward to going back to Coruscant tomorrow.”

Ben couldn’t look her in the eye, instead he fiddled with the new flower bracelet she was wearing that he had bought her when they went into town. She sensed that something was off.

“What’s wrong?”

***

Rey was quiet all the way back to Coruscant. She may not have been happy that he was going away but she still clung to him the whole way through the flight.

It was mid afternoon by the time the taxi from the airport pulled up outside Rey’s house. Ben helped her with her suitcase.

“Are you sure I can’t say anything to persuade you to stay?” she said at the front door.

“I’m afraid not.” he said sadly. The taxi was waiting for him.

“I understand.” Rey sighed, holding back the tears. “Promise me you’ll come back soon and that you’ll call me every night.”

“I will.” He hoped he’d get reception despite being in the middle of the woods, he didn’t want to lose contact with Rey.

Conscious of the waiting taxi, Ben drew Rey into a big hug that would need to sustain them both for the next couple of weeks.

“I’m going to miss you.” they both said at the same time. It made them smile through the veil of tears.

***

The first two weeks Ben spent in Chewie’s cabin flew by. Chewie was a great motivator and didn’t let Ben wallow in his feelings for long.

Every morning they started out with a work out, which wasn’t anything new for Ben, but being quite a bit older Chewie couldn’t cope with strenuous cardio. He had however become very good at yoga and was surprisingly flexible. Ben was stretching muscles he didn’t know he had.

One thing Ben did manage to accomplish was finally finishing The Rise and Fall of The Old Republic volume three. It was a shame he hadn’t brought volume four with him. He had plenty of time to make a start on that.

Ben was feeling much better and was coming to terms with his father’s death, but he felt bad that he was breaking one of his promises to Rey. as they were in the middle of the woods, the phone reception was predictably terrible. They had only managed to have a few sentences of uninterrupted conversation before they started breaking up. It wasn’t ideal and it made him angry. Chewie had to stop him smashing his phone with the axe they used for chopping firewood.

“I know it’s old fashioned but you could write her a letter.” he suggested.

The nearest town with a post box was over an hour away. Chewie also didn’t get any post delivered to the cabin, they held it for him in that same town and he only went there once a week when he went to collect other supplies. So Ben wouldn’t get a response for a while if he wrote a letter.

No he wanted to make it up to Rey and he spent several days trying to think of something but nothing would come.

Then suddenly, on the last day of the month, inspiration struck. His idea wasn’t just something he could buy or somewhere they could go, it required planning and creativity. The idea wouldn’t leave him alone, he needed to get it down on paper.

Chewie found him the next morning sat at the kitchen table surrounded by pieces of paper. He had been working all night, assisted by several cups of coffee and he was shaking a little because of it.

“What do you think?” Ben asked getting up so Chewie could get a better look at his scribbles and sketches.

“These are storyboards.” Chewie said quizzically.

“Yes. I know I’m not the best at writing or drawing but you’re always telling me to get a bit more involved with Porg Island and I want to do something special for Rey.”

“I’m glad you are taking an invested interest.” Chewie smiled at him. When he did that, Ben always felt like a little kid again. It didn’t help that Chewie was the only adult he knew that towered over him. “I think she’ll like these very much.”

“Really? Do you think we can get these made?”

“I don’t see why not. Probably have to give them to the writers to tidy up a bit. But if you want to put these out there, I’m the executive producer.”

Ben grinned. Rey was going to love this.


	10. July

Rey did not sound pleased when Ben phoned her and told her he would be staying away a little while longer.

“You promised that you’d be gone for two weeks, but who am I to tell you you have to come back when you’re supposed to be healing.”

“I know but I’m working on something that will make it up to you.”

“Uh huh.” She didn’t particularly sound like she believed him.

“Please don’t be mad at me.” He couldn’t bear hanging up with her in a mood with him.

Rey sighed. “I’m not. I just miss you, a lot.”

“I miss you too.” Ben said, really wishing that he could reach through the phone and give her a hug. “I hope you haven’t just been staying at home pining after me.”

She snorted. “I don’t pine. I’ve never pined.”

“Sure,” Ben smirked. “What have you been up to?”

“I’ve been out with Rose a couple of times and this weekend I have the absolute pleasure of having a picnic with Alice at Bertie’s birthday party.” That last part was dripping with sarcasm.

“I’m sure it will be fine.” He vaguely remembered Gwen saying they were having his party early because they would actually be on their way to Dreamworld on Bertie’s actual birthday.

By the time they hung up, both Ben and Rey were feeling better about the whole situation.

He wondered if she had noticed that they’d been on the phone for nearly an hour and had an entire conversation without any interference or the line cutting out?

That was because he wasn’t in Chewie’s cabin in the woods anymore. Instead he was staying in a hotel not far from the studio where they made Porg Island.

Over the past couple of days they had been in near constant contact with the writers and animators trying to work in the two episodes he’d written for Rey. they were his surprise for her and he wanted them to be done as soon as possible. He’d even offered to cover the production delays and over time himself just to make that happen.

That morning he had a meeting with Nick the head animator about the designs of the new characters he wanted to introduce.

Ben really didn’t know much about the animation process and there was a lot more stuff going on behind the scenes than he realised. Nick showed him the sketch progression of the characters, it started with Ben’s own crude sketches and finished with a much more professional look, then the 3D computer models, and finally the prototype clay models. They would be colourful in their final form but for now they were just a clay brown colour. However this did not make Ben any less speechless when he saw them. It was something that he had thought up brought to life in remarkable detail.

First of all there was a new porg character based on Porgi. He had wanted to immortalise Rey’s cuddly toy because it meant so much to her and without it she probably wouldn’t have paid any attention to a children’s TV show.

The second was based on Rey herself. It harkened back to something Alice had said back when the series first came out: Kylo the sea serpent needed a girlfriend. Now he was getting one, Keira, named for Rey’s favourite Space Wars character.

She was smaller than Kylo, more lithe and she was brown in colour as opposed to his black. The ridges on the back of her head and neck were rounded smooth, reminiscent of how Rey liked to wear her hair.

Ben was extremely pleased with how the character models had turned out, and he knew Rey would be too. Now he just hoped that the episodes they were in were as good as he imagined they would be.

***

Ben had had a pretty fun week. Nick had actually let him do some stop motion animation. It was very time consuming but oddly calming and satisfying. He was only doing something small scale and basic, but he was proud of what he had done.

The studio was still up and running on Saturday because he’d promised to pay everyone’s overtime, so he was there as well. Although there wasn’t anything for him to do as they were shooting scenes that were too complicated for a newbie like him to help with.

Instead, Ben sat in a side room and decided to call Rey. For once he had a good enough connection for a video call.

“Hello Ben.” she said cheerfully when she answered. It was so good to see her in live rather than just the pictures he had on his phone.

“Rey. You’re outside.” The bright green leafy background was definitely not her bedroom where he’d expected her to be.

“And you’re video calling me. What gives?” she said.

“I’m somewhere that actually has good reception for a change but I can’t tell you where as it’s part of your surprise. But what about you, why are you outside?”

The video jerked as Alice jumped onto Rey’s lap knocking the camera. He had forgotten that she’d said she was having a picnic with the little girl. It was good to see her again too.

“Bertie’s having a party in the park and me and Rey are having a porgy picnic. She has a really, really, really old porg.” Alice said.

“I know,” Ben said. “But he gives really good hugs.” He’d seen Rey roll her eyes at Alice for the old comment but she smiled at him softly because he knew she’d seen him hugging Porgi.

Alice frowned at the camera. “What’s that on your face?”

“I let my beard grow out. Do you like it?” He hadn’t seen much point in shaving since the funeral, but he’d tried to keep it neat so that it didn’t look like he was an emotional wreck.

“No.” Alice said flatly.

“Ok.” he said but it didn’t really matter what a four year old thought. “Rey, what do you think?”

“Um. I think I’ll wait to see what it looks like in person.” she said. That doesn’t sound too promising, Ben thought.

“Anyway, it’s good to see you two are friends now.” he said.

“Yes we are and I’m going to be bridesmaid at your wedding.” Alice said giving Rey a hug.

“Is that so?” Ben said. He didn’t know whether to be amused by the horrified look on Rey’s face or not.

“Yes, and then you’ll have a baby and call her Alice after me.”

“No.” Rey said. He knew her views and while he respected them it didn’t stop him humouring Alice.

“Would you really want there to be another child called Alice?” he said, now definitely amused by the look Rey sent him.

“How about Charlotte? That’s my middle name.”

“I know.” He had held her the day she was born and even though she was over nine pounds, she seemed so small. “But what if it’s a boy?”

“Charlie. I know a boy Charlie and a girl Charlie, so you can just call your baby Charlie.”

Ben was trying really hard not to laugh at Rey, her head was now in her hands. He wondered if Alice would hold it against him if there was no Charlie Solo in the future.

***

Ben had a solid plan for what he was going to do when he got back to Coruscant. It was a Saturday which meant that Rey would be at home. His mother was also due to be in Coruscant that weekend. So first he would drop by the embassy and see how she was doing and give her the candy Chewie had made for her, then he would hop on the tube to go surprise Rey. It would mean spending time in her pokey little flat but it would be worth it to see her again.

Mr Threepio the butler met him at the door. “Good afternoon Master Ben.”

“Threepio,” he nodded as a greeting. “What is my mother?”

“She’s in the Jade Bedroom but I don’t know whether you should disturb her.”

“Why not?” Ben was half way down the hall already.

“She’s helping Miss Rey find a dress for the Ball from the Amidala Collection.”

Ben stopped short. Rey was here?! It didn’t mess up his plans, in fact it made them better. This way he didn’t have to go back to Rey’s flat.

He wasn’t surprised his mother was offering her a dress from the Amidala collection, one of his grandmother’s old dresses. They were beautiful but they were kept in storage, it would be nice to see one of them worn again.

When he got to the Jade Bedroom, he peaked around the door frame to see what state the room was in.

“So which is it to be?” Leia was saying, holding up two dresses, one was a mixture of yellow, pink and purple with many layers, the other was slender and black.

“I don’t know I hate choosing, I like them both.” Rey moaned.

“Personally, I like the black one.” Ben said stepping into the room. “But bright colours are more you.”

Both Rey and Leia turned to face him and the look of surprise on their faces was priceless.

“Oh Benny, you’re back.” Rey ran and jumped into his arms and peppered his face with faces.

“Yes I’m back.” It felt good to hold her again.

“How did you know I was here?” she asked.

“I didn’t.” he said as he put her down. “I came to give Mother some of Uncle Chewie’s homemade candy and then I was coming to see you.”

“Oh.” Rey said. It would have been nice if he had known she was there, like they always knew where the other was without being told.

“Thank you Ben.” Leia said when he handed her the small bag he was holding. He leaned down so she could give him a kiss. “I always look forward to eating them. But what is this?”

She scratched his chin and he batted her hand away playfully. “Don’t you like it?”

Leia turned to Rey. “Make him get rid of it.”

“Well thank you Mother for helping me with my self confidence.” Why did nobody like his self care beard? “But we really should be going.” He took Rey’s hand and started making for the door.

“Hand on Ben, we were in the middle of something. Rey still needs to pick a dress.” Leia said. “So the black one or rainbow one?”

“Rainbow.” Rey said quickly. She was now eager to get out of there.

“Now that that’s done, bye Mother.” Ben said, wrapping his arms around her waist and lifting her to carry her out the room.

“Bye Leia.” Rey called back laughing.

Before they left the room entirely, Ben saw his mother smile and shake her head. She knew what they were going to do. She should be thankful I’m not commandeering one of these rooms, Ben thought.

On second thought, maybe staying at the embassy was a better idea because now he was stuck on a train with Rey that seemed to be taking longer than it should to get them back to his house. They both had to keep reminding themselves to keep their hands to themselves.

Once again he cursed how far he lived from the station.

Their hands were on each other before he’d even closed the front door. Ben was surprised by the force by which Rey pushed him against it and the way she kissed him, slightly sloppy and messy full of longing and need.

It was slightly awkward for her to try and be dominant while they were standing up, with him being much taller, so he picked her up and turned her around so her back was against the wall. Rey’s legs instinctively came up to wrap around his waist.

Ben’s hands found their way under Rey’s shirt, they had to stop kissing while he removed it. It also made her laugh.

“Bedroom now.” she commanded and he complied but he did nearly walk into a table and the door frame. Rey could be very distracting when she wanted to be and after not being able to hold her for nearly four weeks, he wasn’t complaining.

He put Rey down on the bedroom floor and soon their clothes followed.

“Do me now.” Rey said in his ear with her arms wrapped around his neck and dragging him down onto the bed. He couldn't say he minded her eagerness. Perhaps they should have spent some time talking before jumping into bed but they’d both rather be doing this.

Ben could feel the heat coming off of Rey, warm and ready and inviting.

“Ouch, no stop.” Rey cried and pushed him off.

“What’s wrong?” Ben asked. He had barely gone in an inch.

“It’s just me being an idiot and wanting to skip foreplay because I’m so desperate.”

“Ok, as long as I didn’t hurt you.”

“No it’s fine, just get down there.”

He couldn’t help but chuckle as Rey pushed him by the shoulders down her body.

“You know I was thinking -”

Rey interrupted him. “Less thinking, more licking.”

“It sounds really gross when you say it like that.” he said.

“Ben!”

“Alright.” The way that Rey sighed and moaned and wriggled her hips against him signified that this was what she wanted, what she needed.

“Someone was really pent up wasn’t she?” Ben said crawling back up the bed to where Rey was panting slightly.

“Well it has been a month dear.” she said wrapping her arms round him.

“Didn’t you, you know, see to yourself?”

“Use your words Ben.” she teased. “And no I didn’t, never have.”

“Well, what I was going to say was, maybe we should get you a toy or something to play with when you’re on your own.”

Rey blushed a little. “That might be nice, but I’d much prefer you.” She pulled him in for a kiss.

Ben entered her more slowly this time, savouring the feeling and thrusted gently, loving the way Rey tightened her grip on his forearm.

“You can go faster.” she breathed.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” he murmured as he kissed up her neck.

“It’s fine now, just needed to warm up.”

“I’m not going to last very long if I do.”

“I don’t care.” she whispered in his ear.

Despite being over quicker than he wanted it to be, the sex was pretty satisfying. He’d missed the way Rey would look at him sleepily, with a sweet little smile, her hair fanned out all over the pillow.

“I missed you.” she said, tucked up against his side.

“I missed you too.” He kissed her forehead. She was so soft and warm and cuddly.

“Are you doing okay now?”

“Better.” Ben couldn’t help but hold her a bit tighter. “I just didn’t expect it to hit me so hard. I thought I wouldn’t care when my father died, but I did.”

“I think it means that you did love him.” Rey looked at him with her big hazel eyes. She really was quite wise when it came to love despite seeing very little of it throughout her life.

“I know.” he sighed. He had been doing a lot of thinking over the last few weeks. When Ben peeled away all the layers of resentment and disappointment surrounding his memories of Han Solo, he was left with a man who was just trying his best. He wished he could have seen it sooner.

Ben couldn’t tell his father how he felt but he found some comfort in the fact that Han’s last words to him were ‘I love you son’.

Rey broke the silence that had befallen them by changing the subject. “So what were you up to in the extra two weeks you were away?”

“Working on a surprise.”

“And what is this surprise? You said it would make it up to me for you being away so long.” She rolled on top of him. It was hard to say not to her in that position but he was determined to keep her surprise secret.

“It’s not ready yet, but as soon as it’s finished, you can have it.”

“In that case, you’ll have to make it up to me another way.” Rey said seductively.

“Is that so?” He liked where this was going and rolled them over so he could cage her in.

“One thing though. This had to go.” she was talking about his beard, of course she was.

Ben buried his head in her shoulder in mock despair. “Why does no one like my beard?”

“I’m sorry but it’s quite scratchy. Think of my poor thighs!”

“Fine I’ll go shave it off, but as recompense, we’re not leaving this bed for the rest of the weekend.”

“Wow that’s quite a statement. Sure you can keep up with me old man?”

“Ha. I’ve got a couple of days in me.” Ben winked at her and got up to go to the bathroom to shave.

***

Going back to work after a long absence always felt weird. Getting up early was hard, his smart work clothes felt uncomfortable and suddenly finding himself surrounded by people after so much time alone was an assault on Ben’s senses. But it had to be done.

By far the worst thing was that now it was summer and his morning commute was so hot and stuffy even though it was still early in the day. At least his office had air conditioning.

Ben felt conspicuous walking into the First Order offices for the first time in a month. He felt like everyone was looking at him as he made his way through the building, they were probably waiting for something to happen as it seemed that over the past few months, he had been prone to some very public breakdowns and mood swings.

“Good morning sir. Welcome back.” Mitaka said, standing by his desk outside Ben’s office just like every morning. Ben wondered what he had been doing considering he hadn’t been there to assist.

“Thank you.” Ben said and went into his office. Mitaka followed.

“I’ve sorted your emails so that you only have to deal with items that are relevant going forward, and I’ve put together detailed notes on all on going dealing to get you up to speed.”

“Wow, you have been busy.” Ben said without a hint of his usual sarcasm.

“Just doing my job sir.” Mitaka lingered for a moment. “I’m sorry about your father sir.”

“Yes. Thank you.” Ben said quietly fiddling with some papers on his desk. He wasn’t ungrateful, he just wanted to move on from this. “Do I have any meetings today?”

“Not until this afternoon sir. Will that be all?”

After Mitaka left, predictably, Hux made his entrance.

“How does it feel to be back?” he asked, settling into his usual chair.

“It’s too hot and I want my comfy clothes back.”

“I see you’ve got rid of your beard. Alice said it looked like a caterpillar on your top lip.”

Ben smiled and shook his head. “Well she didn’t like nor did my mother or Rey, so I was out voted. How are they?”

“Bertie is eagerly counting down to the end of the school year, Alice hates the washing machine and now Alfie is walking, he’s hard to keep track of.”

“Why does she hate the washing machine?” Ben had missed the children and their antics.

“Gwen’s been secretly packing for our trip to Dreamworld and because Alice can’t find her favourite top, she thinks the washing machine ate it.”

They laughed. “You still haven’t told them your going?”

“I don’t think we can cope with them being more excitable than usual.” Hux got something out of his jacket pocket. “They made you something.”

Ben unfolded the piece of paper he was given. On it was a bright and chaotic scene typical of young children’s art work.

“We obviously had to tell them where you were and what happened, and they thought a picture might make you feel better.”

Ben looked over the picture and smiled. The elongated figure in black was obviously meant to be him and the smiley orange blobs were meant to be the children. They were surrounded by squiggles and stickers and glitter.

“Anything that looks particularly abstract was Alfie.” Hux said.

“You let him have crayons?”

“Only under very strict supervision.” Hux said. He had lost count as to how many times they’d had to repaint the walls over the past five years.

“I’ll come over at the weekend.” Ben said, he kind of owned them a visit.

“It’s the Ball on Saturday remember.”

Ben had forgotten. He still couldn’t believe that his mother was hosting it so soon after the funeral, but she assured him that she was more than up to the task.

“Just for the morning then. Besides I got a little something for the kids and some Toniray wine for you.”

“I’m not going to say no to that, but you really didn’t have to, not after everything.”

Ben shrugged. “It was Rey’s idea. She was more with it than I was.”

“Well I’ll thank her at the weekend then.”

“So how was your first day back at work?” Rey asked him when they met up outside the cafe near the station.

“Long, tiring. I had no idea what was going on for half of it.” Ben only gave her a brief hug, it was too hot to do anything else.

“Oh well, you’ll soon get back into the swing of things.” she said as they merged into the crowd and made their way under ground.

***

Rey looked stunning in his grandmother’s dress. She couldn’t wait to get ready for the Ball so had been walking up and down their room letting the brightly coloured fabric swish and swirl around her, and admiring herself in the mirror.

Ben wouldn’t begrudge her that. He would be admiring her all evening as well. He wondered if this was how his grandfather felt when he saw his wife in the dress.

Leia had also given her a pair of diamond and pearl earrings to wear which Rey informed him were the most expensive things she had ever worn.

Ben had never enjoyed going to the Ball. he felt really awkward in large social situations and he wasn’t really friends with anyone his mother invited. Hux and Gwen did come sometimes but that depended on how they felt, how the children were and whether or not they had a babysitter.

But tonight was going to be different, tonight was going to be fun. He had Rey and she was excited to be there. Here excitement and happiness always made him feel better and more secure in himself.

His mother had given him a couple of rules though. One, don’t threaten to punch Nash Windrider, again. Alderaan Life magazine always covered the event and Leia told him he had to be civil. And two, they weren’t allowed to sneak off early, but judging by the looks Rey kept sending his way when he was getting dressed, that might be the harder promise to keep.

As much as he had been looking forward to tonight it started out like it always did with greeting guests. He tried to stay out of the way but they always found him. It was an endless stream of condolences and introducing Rey to people he barely knew personally. A lot of them were curious about her because of the dress she was wearing.

Rey managed to escape when her friend Rose arrived wearing a very flattering red dress. However she didn’t manage to keep her relief to herself and Ben had to apologise on her behalf when they went off for Champagne.

“Hello Ben,” a small voice said from slightly behind him. Ben turned and it took him a minute to recall the name of the pregnant woman with the long black hair and purple dress.

“Oh hello, Jess is it?” he said.

“Yes. I know we don’t really know each other but I thought I’d say hi. I work with Rey and we met each other on New Year’s Eve.”

“I remember.”

“I think I should probably apologise for the night. Rey has mentioned that you’re not very social and I was very drunk.” She stroked her baby bump. “I would say I’m stuck dealing with the consequences, but that doesn’t seem fair on her.”

“How about, your life has taken you in a different direction?” Ben said kindly. He didn’t want to offend Jess knowing what pregnant women could be like, but he did want to tell her that she was better off without Thomas Thanisson.

“I like that.” she said smiling at him.

“I didn’t know you were coming Jess.” Rey exclaimed when she and Rose came back with their drinks. Luckily she had brought one back for him as well.

“I wasn’t but Mr Jinn brought me. He said I should have some fun before Genevieve gets here. I probably won’t stay all night, I get very tired and my back hurts.”

“That’s a shame.” Rey said before having to turn her attention over to Rose who had started choking on her drink. “Rose, are you ok?”

“Yes.” she spluttered. “Is that Finn?”

It turned out that Rose had a bit of a crush on Finn that Rey didn’t know about and her reaction was brought about by seeing him in a tuxedo for the first time. Ben couldn’t help but nudge Rey considering she had a bit of a suit kink too.

It became apparent when Finn came over that the attraction was mutual. Ben was just glad that he greeted him with a mature response instead of screaming, running away or hiding.

Rose and Finn soon left them to do their own thing, leaving a flabbergasted Rey holding Rose’s half drunk glass and her own.

They were soon joined by Hux and Gwen who had just arrived.

“Oh look, Hux is in a tux. You could make a children’s book about it.” Ben said with a grin. He said that every time, he couldn’t help himself.

“Rey darling, you look absolutely wonderful.” Gwen said. She didn’t look too bad herself in a long silver dress and heels that made her tower over everyone. It was strange for Ben to see her this way as she usually just lived in leggings and jumpers.

“Why do you have two drinks?” she asked.

“Someone left me holding theirs but I don’t think they’re coming back for it.” Rey said glaring in the direction Rose and Finn went.

“Let’s get rid of it then.” Gwen said and swapped the old glass for a new one for herself. “I’ve been looking forward to tonight. Last year I was fat and tired and a little bit too depressed to enjoy myself.”

Ben watched as she knocked back her drink. “Do remember if you enjoy yourself too much, you’re going to have to deal with three children while hung over tomorrow.”

“That’s future Gwen’s problem, present Gwen is going to have fun on her night away from the children.”

Ben decided that this wasn’t going to end well, that future Gwen was going to hate present Gwen, or would it be past Gwen?

“Good evening ladies, gentlemen, Solo.” Ben was oddly proud of the amount of contempt put into his name by the journalist.

“Windrider.”

Nash Windrider wanted a picture of their group for his magazine. Jess was thrilled by the prospect, Ben was not but Rey held his arm and he behaved like his mother told him to.

It was harder to do once Nash took an interest in Rey. “Ah the girl we know nothing about.” he said creepily.

“Why would you want to know anything about me, I’m no one.” Rey said.

“On the contrary. You’ve been seen with Mr Solo for some months now, arrived with him in Alderaan, walked behind the coffin at the funeral and now you’re wearing one of Padme Amidala’s most iconic dresses. You’re not no one.”

“Alright Windrider you got your picture, now move on.” Ben said sternly but kept his temper in check.

“Very well but you’ll be hearing from me soon.” Ben didn’t like the sound of that.

The squeal of microphone feedback filled the air and got everyone’s attention. Leia stood on the band’s elevated platform ready to give her welcome speech and start the Ball.

“Good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome to the annual Alderaan Charity Ball. As always my speech will be brief but this year it will be more personal than usual. When my husband Han passed away last month, people asked me whether this event would be going ahead, and I said of course because Han would never pass up the opportunity to have friends and family gathered round. So tonight we are here in his memory and all donations will be going to various heart disease charities. Enough from me. Let’s eat and drink and dance til the small hours.”

As the night drew on, Ben and Rey ended up on their own. Jess went home early as she predicted, Finn and Rose didn’t resurface and Hux and Gwen were sat in the corner getting increasingly drunk but they were having fun. Ben didn’t mind really, he was with Rey, the one person in the whole world that he really wanted to spend time with.

It was just after midnight and Rey was getting tired. “How long before we can go to bed and it not be counted as sneaking off? I’m not horny anymore, just tired.”

Ben smiled as she smothered a yawn with his chest. “You can go up if you want, I’ll stay with Mother a bit longer.”

“How is she still going?” Rey asked. Leia was still animatedly talking to a group of people. Ben didn’t know how she did it.

“Well Hello, hello.” Lando Calrissen sauntered up to them with his trademark cape over his suit. “I came over to inform you that you just lost me a bet with your mother.”

“How so?” Ben asked.

“I bet her that you would have snuck off by now.”

Ben laughed but he could literally feel how unimpressed Rey was. “You may want to contest that as she told us we couldn’t do that and contrary to popular belief, I do listen to my mother sometimes.”

“Just like her to cheat as well. Perhaps you’ll care to make a wager with me.” Lando said slyly.

“On what?”

“On your very tall friends having another baby next April.”

They all looked over to where Hux and Gwen were exchanging sloppy kisses, their hands dangerously close to where they shouldn’t be in public.

“Done.” Ben said. It seemed pretty likely that things would escalate from here. “And an extra hundred if it’s a girl.”

He only said that because the children had alternated so far. He could even hazard a guess at the name if he wanted to, there was definitely a theme.

***

It was eleven o’clock on Monday morning and Hux had yet to make an unannounced appearance in Ben’s office to distract both of them from the work they were supposed to be doing. Ben didn’t like it so decided to go pay his friend a visit for once.

Ben almost laughed at Hux’s appearance as some as he entered the room.

“Not a word.” Hux said, his voice was thick as he was tired.

“I wasn’t going to say anything. You look great.” He did not. He still had bed head, there were dark bags under his eyes and he was slumped in his chair over his computer keyboard. “How are you feeling?”

“Go away.” Hux said, rubbing his temple.

“No. I think I have the right to enquire after you did the walk of shame from, what is for all intents and purposes, my mother’s house.” Hux and Gwen had eventually been found in the early hours passed out in one of the spare bedrooms at the embassy and it seemed easier to just let them sleep there. They returned home about lunchtime. Ben decided not to mention what they had defiled in their drunken state.

“Shut up.” Hux said putting his head down on the desk. “I think I’m still hungover.”

“How did your in-laws react?” Ben smirked. Gwen’s parents had been looking after the children.

“Barbara wasn’t too pleased with the state we’d gotten ourselves into and Captain Phasma looks at me like he always does, like I’ve defiled his daughter even though we’ve been married for seven years and have three children.”

“Well that is exactly what you were doing.”

“Oh just bugger off.” The desk muffled Hux’s voice. Ben didn’t feel like leaving just yet.

“How are the children?”

“Loud. Really loud. Why are they so loud? And why won’t they stay still?”

“You’re going on holiday on Thursday aren’t you?”

Hux’s muffled scream was his cue to leave and he did so gladly. He’d had his entertainment for the day.

***

Ben got an email on Friday that he had been very much anticipating. It was for Nick saying that the Porg Island episodes he had written for Rey were ready, or at least ready enough to be seen.

The file was attached and he had to resist the urge to watch them. He was excited to see the stories he had come up with brought to life.

He waited until they were nearly back at his place before telling Rey her surprise was ready. She practically bounced all the way home from the station. She was so eager that she didn’t even want to change into something more comfortable.

“Ok fine. Go sit on the sofa.” Ben said when she wouldn’t stop bugging him, not that he held it against her. He had made her wait long enough.

He sat next to her after he’d gotten a drink and cast the video files onto the television so they could watch in comfort.

“This is just Porg Island. No wait it’s different.” Ray said when she noticed the differences in the new title sequence. “It’s a new episode. You went to work on the new series didn’t you?”

Ben paused the video and nodded. He didn’t want her to miss anything.

“Don’t you want to wait until the kids come back from their holiday?” she asked.

“No. I kind of made the series with them in mind, but what I’m going to show you is all for you.” He gently booped the end of her nose.

Rey happily snuggled into his side and he resumed the video.

Ben was pleased with how it came out, it needed a bit more editing but it was still good to watch. The new character models looked great and he loved how excited Rey was when she recognised the episode's main character: an old scruffy looking porg who gave good hugs and did tricks to entertain the little porglets.

“That’s Porgi!” Rey squealed. “You put Porgi in your show. Thank you. This is awesome and worth the wait.”

Rey climbed into his lap and started to kiss him. Ben couldn’t help but wonder what her reaction would be to the next episode he had to show her and she saw Keira.

***

“And we got to have a really big bucket of popcorn.” Bertie said excitedly.

“Which was completely overpriced.” Hux muttered.

They had just returned from their holiday to Dreamworld and Ben and Rey had been invited over for a barbecue and to hear all about it.

The children had had a great time even if they had got a bit overwhelmed and a little bit sunburnt. Hux and Gwen were worn out and jokingly said they needed a holiday to get over this holiday.

“This picture is my favourite. I’m going to get it printed and framed for the hall.” Gwen said. It was of the five of them in front of the central big top. It was a nice one, one of the only ones where they were all in it and no one was pulling a strange face.

“Well it looks like you had a great time.” Rey said. Ben had kept looking over at her to see how much she was enjoying the pictures. “We were thinking about going but things kept getting in the way.”

“You can’t go on your own.” Alice said. She had been sat on the floor with her new dressable elephant toy. “I’ll go with you.”

“We can go on our own.” Ben said. “You remember all those rides that you couldn’t go on because you are too little? We can go on those.”

“And we can stay out late.” Rey added. They’d all seen the picture of Alice curled up in Alfie’s pushchair because she was too tired to walk any more.

“We keep saying we want to go on holiday but not actually booking anything, we really should sort something out even if it’s just going to Naboo again.” Rey said. “We really didn’t see much of it last time.”

Hux guffawed. “Shut up.” Ben said and Rey shot both men a dirty look.

“Don’t worry my dear. I know nothing more than what I can infer.” Hux said to Rey.

“Gross.” Gwen said. “Go turn the barbecue on.”

“It’s a gas one, I don’t need to turn it on for a while yet.” he said.

“Go turn the barbecue on.” she said more forcefully, punctuating each word with a prod to the arm to make him leave.

“Why is Daddy being gross?” asked Bertie.

“It really doesn’t matter.” Gwen said pushing her light blonde hair back. “Why don’t you give Ben and Rey their present?”

They got two different boxes of biscuits in tins that had the Dreamworld mascots on them.

As if sensing the biscuits in the room, Alfie pulled himself up onto the soft between Ben and Rey.

“Are you after our biscuits?” Rey said in the tone of voice that was reserved for babies and pets. Alfie gave them a cheeky smile. She booped him on the nose making him giggle. “Don’t think I’m going to fall for your cute little face.”

Ben smiled at that. He was glad Rey was becoming more comfortable around the children.

They went outside to sit around the patio table under the parasol to wait for their burgers and hot dogs to be ready. Gwen broke out one of the bottles of Toniray wine for the adults.

“Why can’t I have some?” Alice moaned, pouting at her own glass of juice.

“Because it’s a drink for grown ups.” Gwen said. She took a sip and immediately pulled a face. “Does this taste a bit weird to you guys?”

Hux and Ben shook their heads. “I have no idea of what it’s supposed to taste like.” Rey said. They had somehow been in Alderaan for over a week and not managed to have any Toniray wine.

“If you don’t like it Mummy, I’ll have it.” Alice said reaching across the table. Gwen moved her glass out of the way just in time.

“Still a very hard no on that one young lady.”

“So what were you guys going to be doing for the rest of the summer?” Rey asked, thankfully changing the subject.

“I want to go to the seaside and go stay with Grandma and go to the park.” Bertie said.

“I want to go shopping and make cakes.” Alice said and Alfie cheered at the word cake. “Will you come play with us Uncle Ben?”

“We can only come over at the weekend.” he said. “We still have to work.”

“Sounds like you’re going to be busy.” Rey said to Gwen.

“But at the same time, we’re not at all. The summer holidays simultaneously last forever and go by too quickly, especially with Alice starting school this year.”

“I hope you’re not going to ball your eyes out again like you did when Bertie started.” Hux said. He felt safe to do so because he was sitting at the other end of the table.

“Look, it only got as bad as it did because I was pregnant.” Gwen said.

“Do you know who you’ve got this year?” Ben asked Bertie.

“Mrs Syndulla. She seems nice.” he sounded a little despondent, he still wanted Mr Bridger back.

“I’ve got Miss Wren. She has blue hair and a giant dog called Zeb.” Alice piped up. “Can we get a dog?”

“No.” her father said.

“What about a cat? An orange one so we all match.”

“Still no.”

“A rabbit?”

“Definitely not.”

“We were going to wait until Alfie was a bit older.” Gwen said as a mediator. “Animals don’t really like it when children are too grabby.”

“Do you have a pet Uncle Ben?” Bertie asked.

“Nope, never have done.” It was a thought, if he couldn’t have a little brother or sister, why couldn’t he have had a dog?

“Rey?”

“Me neither. It doesn’t seem fair to have one. I’m away at work all day and I don’t have the space.” she said.

“How much space do you have?” Bertie asked.

“Well I rent a room in a house and it’s probably smaller than your kitchen.”

“You sleep in a kitchen?” Alice asked.

“Kind of. There’s a tiny fridge, microwave, sink and hob, a couple of cupboards, a table and my bed.”

“That sounds horrible.” Alice said disgusted.

Rey shrugged. “I mean, I needed somewhere quickly when I moved to Coruscant and it serves its purpose.”

It was a bit awkward to be talking about their vast difference in economic standing, but it made Ben realise that the children didn’t know anything other than big houses and spacious gardens, hell he didn’t really.

“I know. Rey should come live here. We have plenty of room.” Alice said.

“What?” Rey said. She knew it was a joke but the little girl inside her was happy and excited that someone wanted her to come live with them.

“Alice. Rey has her own -” Gwen started but her husband interrupted.

“Think about it Gwen. Free babysitter, we could actually go out for dinner.” She found that idea very tempting.

“Then Uncle Ben would visit more often.” Alice said grinning.

“And we could go on holiday together alone.” Hux said.

Ben shook his head in amusement. It sounded like a good idea but it would never work.

“Very well. We will require the bedroom directly above yours, three locks on the door and a steel frame bed.” he deadpanned.

“Ben!” Rey said with her face in her hands. It made him and Hux chuckle.

“Will you two stop alluding to that in front of the children.” Gwen said a little bit cross.

“What does that mean Mummy?” Bertie asked, blue eyes big and innocent.

She sighed and took a drink even though she didn’t like the taste. “Doesn’t matter, just forget about it.”


	11. August

“Ben?” Rey asked with her arms wrapped tightly around his middle. They were meant to be saying goodbye before going into work. “Would you consider going on a double date with Finn and Rose?”

“Go on then.” he said. He’d promised to spend more time with her friends and Finn seemed to be alright around him now, so there was no excuse for him not to go.

“Great! I’ll see you at lunchtime.” She got up on her tiptoes and gave him a quick kiss before going off into her office building.

When Rey met him at lunchtime, she had Finn and Rose in tow.

“When you said that you wanted a double date, I didn’t think you meant straight away.” Ben said.

“This isn’t a date silly.” Rey said with a grin. “It’s just lunch.”

They went off to get their lunch. Ben and Rey had been sitting outside to eat their lunch now that it was summer, but it was sometimes had to find somewhere to perch so the four of them sat at a table inside.

“So the reason I wanted to have lunch together was because me and Rose have booked for us to all go indoor rock climbing at the weekend for our double date.” Rey said.

“Cool, I’m down.” Finn said.

“Why?” Ben asked, frowning.

“Because we thought it would be fun and different.” said Rey.

“Well we picked what we’re doing this time, you guys can pick what we do next time.” Rose said as a compromise. She could sense that Ben wasn’t kind.

“Fine.” he grumbled and went back to his noodles.

He didn’t want to go rock climbing, didn’t want to relive any of the memories he associated with it. All week he kept trying to find excuses and reasons not to go, and yet he still found himself at the activity centre at the weekend.

They met up with Finn and Rose and were introduced to their instructor, Cody. At least it was just them in their session, Ben didn’t feel like he could be sociable with other adults or any annoying children.

“Right, have any of you guys done any climbing before?” Cody asked. Ben was the only one who raised his hand. “Excellent. What kind of level are we looking at?”

“I climbed Appenza Peak in Alderaan when I was sixteen.” he said.

Cody was impressed. Rey shared a shrug with her friend. He hadn’t told her much about Alderaan and unless she’d done her research she wouldn’t know the significance of Appenza Peak.

Climbing the mountain was the traditional rite of passage for the heir to the throne of Alderaan, and even though there was no throne to be heir of anymore, Ben had made the climb when he was sixteen. He’d wanted to do it having seen the peak from his bedroom window and read all the histories.

Cody let Ben go off on the more advanced wall while the other had a go at the beginners wall.

It had been nearly fifteen years since he’d last climbed but all his training came back to him the moment he was all harnessed up and standing at the bottom of the wall; where to find foot holds, hand holds, how to position his weight, everything.

In no time, Ben was at the top of the wall. The view of the inside of the activity centre was nothing compared to the views from the top of Appenza Peak. There he was almost in the clouds. He could see the city and the palace so tiny and far away. How quiet it was up there, how peaceful. How easy it would have been to walk off the edge and fall.

Ben let go of the wall and the winch harness gently brought him back down to the ground.

He looked over at where Rey, Finn and Rose were on the beginners wall. They were barely half way up and since there was still time left in their allotted session, he thought he might as well go up the wall again.

Ben began training for his climb just after his fifteenth birthday. He had been growing a lot recently and he was finding his long, gangly limbs hard to control in most sports he played at school, but he wanted this climb to be a success. For that to happen he needed to train and train hard.

Since he was born in November, it would be too dangerous to make the climb on his birthday so he’d have to wait for the spring.

The one thing younger Ben had wished for ever since reading about it, was for his mother to make the climb with him, just like Queen Breha had done with a young Leia.

But Leia said she was too out of shape and too busy to train with him. He argued that he was busy too, he had important exams at school. How could she not want to be a part of a tradition of the country she loved?

Things got heated from there and the argument got worse when his father waded in.

In the end, Ben made the climb on his own with very little fanfare, and as he sat at the top of Appenza Peak, his dark thoughts took over. Would it really matter if he fell? Did his parents even care about him? They weren’t at the bottom waiting for him, they weren’t even in the country.

It scared him that he could think like that. Instead he curled up and cried on top of the mountain until his sides hurt and his cheeks were frozen.

That was his darkest moment. Once he had calmed down enough to climb down the mountain, he’d given up climbing altogether and had sought professional help. But now years later, he was in a much better place and climbing in the activity centre was safe, and despite it all Ben found that he was having fun. It was therapeutic in a way.

By the time their session came to an end Ben had climbed the wall at least four times. Rey and Finn had cheered when they finally reached the top of their wall. Rose had been defeated and was laying on the floor.

“I can’t go home yet, I feel like jelly.” Rose said as they all stood around her trying to decide what to do next. “Really heavy jelly.”

“We could stay here and have some food.” Rey suggested. There was a fast food quick service joint at the activity centre.

Finn pulled Rose to her feet. “Carry me.” she said leaning heavily against him.

“I am in no condition to carry you right now.” he said.

They walked past an arcade to get to the food kiosk.

“Hey Ben, do you want to play air hockey?” Finn asked.

“Sure.” Ben said and Finn passed Rose over to Rey.

“What food should I get?” she asked now that she was going on her own.

“Just get something we can share.”

Ben didn’t know why he agreed to play, he wasn’t very good considering he had no one to play with growing up. But Finn was just using this as a cover so they could talk.

“I think the girls regret choosing this activity.” he said. Ben looked over at where the girls were queuing for food, Rey propping up Rose.

“At least we get to pick what we do next time.”

“Yeah. Any ideas?” Finn asked.

Ben thought for a moment. He had a general idea but not a specific one yet. “How about we plan something really romantic that we know they’ll love, but we act all smug to make them think they’ll hate it.”

Finn grinned. “I like your thinking Solo.”

***

Ben didn’t like it but his mother insisted and Rey had agreed, so here he was doing an interview for Alderaan Life magazine.

True to his word, Nash Windrider had been in touch after the Ball about doing an interview and photoshoot with Ben and Rey. Ben, even though he wasn’t keen, wished he could have seen the man’s face when he heard about their conditions for doing the interview.

They had demanded final say on what questions were to be asked as Rey wasn’t keen on talking about her past and Ben didn’t want the whole thing to be about marriage and babies.

The second condition was that Nash wouldn’t be the one doing the interview. Ben couldn’t help but chuckle as he watched the nervous replacement pace up and down the far end of the room.

They did the photoshoot first. He was in a fitted grey suit and Rey looked lovely in a silk blouse and skirt. She didn’t wear expensive clothes, she didn’t see the point. She felt much more comfortable in a top that cost £10 as opposed to one that cost £300. But there was a marked difference in the way she looked, she looked so sophisticated especially after the stylist did her hair in a much sleeker version of her usual three bun style.

They were at the Alderaanian Embassy for convenience and because the furniture and decor made a very nice background.

Ben didn’t really like getting his picture taken. He always thought he looked weird and he felt self conscious when told to pose, or even just smile. But with Rey it wasn’t too bad and the photoshoot went well.

They sat down for the interview with Ved the replacement, in one of the many sitting rooms away from the noise of the photographer packing up.

Ved’s hands were shaking as he set up a recorder on the coffee table between them.

“It’s okay, we don’t bite.” Rey said kindly, which was strange because Ved was older than her.

Ved shot Ben a wary glance before answering. “I’ve never done this before.”

“This is the easy bit. You just read the questions and we’ll give you our answers.” she said.

“Just remember to press record.” Ben said. He didn’t mean for it to come out the way it sounded but Rey subtly elbowed him in the ribs.

“Right, here we go then.” Ved said taking a deep breath. “How did you two meet?”

“We met on the tube.” Ben said. As Rey knew he was a fan of giving short answers, leaving her to give a few more details someone writing an article would be after.

“Yes, we live out on the same tube line and we work in the same area and we just kept seeing each other on our commutes.”

“So who made the first move?” Ved asked.

The interview continued with Ben and Rey delivering the answers they’d practiced to questions they knew were coming. Ben thought it would have saved everyone a lot of time and effort if they’d just done this by email.

“See, that wasn’t so bad.” Rey said giving Ben a playful nudge when they were all done.

“Yeah, yeah.” He’d already had his mother on the phone asking how it was while he was getting changed.

“So what do you want to do now?”

“It’s a nice day. We could go for a walk by the river.” he suggested.

“And get ice cream?” Rey asked wrapping her arms around his.

“And get ice cream.” Ben said, lightly kissing her on the forehead.

***

Ben was enjoying a quiet Saturday afternoon by himself. Well he wasn’t enjoying it exactly but he was enjoying it more than he would have if he’d gone with Rey to her friend’s baby shower. He knew she hadn’t believed his lie about having to work but he really didn’t want to go.

Instead he had the window of his home office wide open and he was sat in front of it reading his book. He was making much better progress with volume four than he did with volume three.

The window looked out onto the green wilderness that marked the edge of this part of town. He could still hear the traffic from the road in front of the building, but not being able to see it made it bearable. This was the closest thing Ben had to his own outdoor space.

He knew he could have gone to the park but there were too many people there and he had never found just sitting outside that appealing. No, he liked his current set up; he was inside with a nice breeze coming through the window.

Ben’s phone rang and he knew exactly who it was and why they were calling.

“All done with your party I see.” he said.

“Yes.” Rey said. “Kind of pointless really. I mean baby clothes are tiny and cute and all, but I don’t get it.”

“But you’re supporting your friend.”

“Yes and I’m not hurt that my books didn’t get as big a cheer as a pair of booties.”

“So what are you going to do now? I presume you’re calling to beg me to come and meet you.” asked Ben.

Rey seemed a little surprised he had guessed her intentions. “Yes, actually.”

“Where are we going this time?”

“Rose wanted to go see the new adaptation of First Impressions. Finn’s grumbling about it but you knew you wouldn’t mind as you like the classics.”

“Yeah I’ll meet you at the cinema. I literally haven’t been since we went to see Space Wars.”

“Me neither.” Rey said. Something was said to her in the background, a message to pass onto him. “Oh and dress nice. Finn’s in a shirt and we’re in dresses.”

“Ok, see you in a bit.”

Ben mourned the loss of his comfy shorts and t-shirt as he headed out in a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up and the most lightweight pair of trousers that he owned. It was too hot to be wearing proper clothes. At least it would be cooler in the cinema.

When he met the others in the lobby of the cinema they had already bought the tickets and popcorn.

“Someone’s hungry I see.” Ben said to Rey. There was a sizable reduction in the amount of popcorn in her bucket.

“There wasn’t any food at the party. I thought pregnant people were supposed to be hungry.” she said. “Not that this is very filling. I’ve been eyeing up those dodgy looking hot dogs.”

They truly did look horrifying. “If you can hold off a couple of hours, we’ll go out for proper food after.”

“Oooh,” cooed Rose. Ben had kind of forgotten they were there and hastily invited Finn and Rose along too. Not that he knew where they were going for dinner.

“You know I did intend for our trip to see Space Wars to be a date.” Ben said when they found their seats.

“Yeah, I was a bit obtuse not to realise at the time.” Rey said shyly.

“And I was overthinking everything. I mean I was doing that really cringy thing of reaching into the popcorn bucket at the same time as you so our hands would accidentally touch.”

Rey laughed at him but not unkindly. “Oh well, things turned out well in the end. I’ll hold your hand through the whole thing this time if you want.”

The film was good even if Ben didn’t like how they’d modernised some of the language to make it more relatable to today’s audiences.

“What did you think Finn?” asked Rose, each of the couples had linked arms.

“It was alright.” he muttered.

“Well that’s the best we’re going to get out of him.” Rose said. “Rey, what was your favourite part?”

“I’ve always loved the failed proposal. Their passions are so high and it’s just so dramatic.”

“Well I hope now that you two have planned two double dates, you’re ready for what me and Finn have planned.” Ben said, smirking.

“I still don’t like how you’re saying that.” Rey said.

“Yeah, I mean, you just made me sit through that.” Finn said matching Ben’s evil smirk.

“Rey what are they planning?” Rose asked, huddling closer to her friend.

“I don’t know but I’m beginning to regret this arrangement.”

***

“Wait, why are you following us?” Rey asked Finn as him and Rose continued to walk behind her and Ben. “This isn’t your tube line.”

“Yeah, where are we going Finn?” Rose was confused as well but they couldn’t stop as that would obstruct the flow of traffic in the station.

“Thought you might like a surprise.” Finn said with a barely contained grin.

“Are we going on a date?” Rose asked. “Is this the double date you’ve been planning?” She looked from Finn to Ben and Rey did the same.

“But it’s Wednesday.” she said as they hopped off the escalator and turned right onto the platform. “We’re going straight from work.”

“Yes.” Ben said over the noise of the other commuters. “Partially for practicality, partially Finn’s fault.”

“Hey! Not cool man.” They had gone halves on their surprise double date and Wednesday night was cheaper and more available.

“But we look -” Rey started, alluding to her appearance.

“You look fine.” Ben said, squeezing her hand and kissing her forehead. He didn’t think she needed to get all dressed up to be beautiful.

All four of them got on the train and got off two stops later near the river. They walked around the corner to a building that had a rooftop bar and restaurant.

Ben gave his name at the desk and they were led out to a private cabana on the terrace that was covered in fairy lights and white fabric that was fluttering gently in the breeze. There were big outdoor chairs covered in cushions and blankets underneath and an unlit fire pit.

“So what do you think?” Ben turned to Rey and Rose to find that they were just standing there, gorping.

“This is what you were planning?” Rey said at last. Ben nodded.

“Why did you make me think that it somehow involved spiders?” Rose asked.

“Ben’s idea.” Finn said, wasting no time to dob him in it.

“Anyway.” Ben said quickly to stop the girls being mad at him. “There is a set menu, so food and drinks are already paid for and we’ve got the cabana all night.”

“And we get to toast marshmallows.” Finn said. “That’s what really sold me.”

“Wow.” Rose breathed.

“You guys really planned all this?” Rey asked.

“Of course we did.” Ben said.

She shrugged, seemingly accepting the situation and sat down in a pile of cushions. “I’m glad you’re getting along now.”

“Yes, well it’s easier to get to know someone when they don’t run away from you like a big baby.”

“And you’re not as big an asshole once you get to know you.” Finn fired back, but it was good natured banter.

“Speaking of being an asshole, I have tried to tone it down a bit when we’ve interviewed graduates this year.”

“I’m glad to hear it.”

A waiter brought them all an icy glass of white wine which was very welcome after a long day at work on a hot summer's day.

The food was tapas style for them to share and was very good, and, as promised, for dessert they got to roast marshmallows and make delicious smores.

They got to watch a beautiful sunset over the river and city scape. It was so romantic that Ben had to remind himself that they were in public and with another couple and that his hands couldn’t just wander under the blanket.

It was a lovely evening and the couples had a good time together, the two bottles of wine they ordered kept the conversation going without getting them too drunk, they still had work in the morning.

She had such a good time that Rey decided to break the sleep schedule and go home with Ben.

***

Hux walked into Ben’s office looking a bit distracted. “You’ve got Thursday off right?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’ve got me and Rey tickets to see Persephone The Musical at the Chancellor’s Theatre.” They had decided to take a couple of days off during the summer because it was just too hot to be working every day and Rey was missing the summer holidays she had while she was still at school.

“Evening or matinee?”

“Matinee, why?”

“I’ve got a favour to ask you.” Hux said.

The favour was to babysit Alfie while the rest of the family went back to school shopping.

“Why haven’t you done it before now?” Ben asked. The last week in August didn’t seem to be the best time to go.

“Time, sort of, got away from us.” Hux ran his fingers through his short ginger hair. Something was bothering him.

“Surely it will be easier if we babysit all of them.”

“No. They need shoes and to get them we need their feet. Can you just do it please? It needs to be done and it’s best to do as Gwen says at the moment.”

“Why, what’s wrong?” Ben asked.

“Nothing.” Hux said in a slightly higher pitch than usual.

Rey wasn’t too pleased that they’d ended up babysitting on their day off. She had been hoping they’d get to have a lie in and go out to lunch before seeing their show.

“But what do we do with him?” Rey asked as they were walking from the station to the house on Thursday morning. This was the first time she was babysitting and she was a bit anxious about being left with Alfie.

“Just don’t let him break anything or hurt himself.” Ben said. He was much more calm having done this loads of times before.

When they got there, Gwen was in fully military mode which was kind of scary. She was always kind of strict when it came to them going out, but this was on a new level. Even Hux was standing to attention.

There was no time for greetings. No they weren’t going to the toy shop. No they couldn’t get any sweets, they had a list. The only things they were getting were for school and on the list. Ben, you know where everything is. Bye.

The front door slammed shut a minute after they arrived leaving Ben, Rey and little Alfie standing in the hallway.

Alfie looked up at his very tall uncle. “Ba.” The sound was probably the closest he was going to get to saying Ben’s name for a while.

“Come on then.” Ben said and went into the sitting room.

“Why are you making a mess?” Rey said as he scattered a few toys around the room.

“I’m providing entertainment for Alfie.” he said. He then sat down on the floor, leaned back against the sofa and Alfie proceeded to waddle around the room and bring the toys back to him.

“See? This isn’t so bad.” said Ben.

“I suppose.” Rey said. At least Alfie was happy. He smiled every time he came back to Rey and took great delight in tricking her into thinking he was going to fall over.

She wasn’t too impressed though when Ben suggested that she learn how to change a nappy when Alfie inevitably needed changing.

Once he was all cleaned up, Alfie decided he didn’t want to play that game anymore and brought the TV controller over to Ben.

Alfie did sit quietly on Ben’s lap while they watched baby cartoons. Rey was restless at how mind numbing they were until she found a magazine to read down the side of the sofa.

It was nearly lunchtime by the time the others returned from their shopping trip. Alfie had dozed off at some point so Ben turned the TV off and carried him out into the hall to meet the others.

Bertie and Alice were their usual hyperactive selves, Hux looked worn out and Gwen had gone straight upstairs.

“Why don’t you two show Ben and Rey what you got?” Hux suggested and gently pushed the older children into the sitting room before going upstairs himself.

Ben raised an eyebrow at Rey. His friends were acting weird but their children didn’t seem to notice and Bertie and Alice happily showed them all their new school stuff.

“Mummy went into a shop on her own and we got to go on the merry-go-round.” Alice said. “We never get to go on the merry-go-round.”

“That’s nice.” Rey said. It kind of made up for not being able to go to the toy shop.

Their attention got drawn out of the room by Hux’s heavy footsteps on the stairs and then him making his way to the kitchen as if sleepwalking.

Rey gestured for Ben to find out what was going on while she kept an eye on the children. He passed Alfie over to her and they frowned at the sound of glass bottles clinking together.

“What’s happened?” Ben asked entering the kitchen as Hux poured himself a glass of whiskey with slightly unsteady hands.

Hux downed the shot in one and winced at the after burn. “Gwen’s pregnant again.”

“Ah.” was all Ben could say. His friend wasn’t in the right frame of mind to accept congratulations.

“How did this happen?” Hux said in despair and sank into one of the kitchen chairs. Ben took the bottle away from him before he could have another drink.

“Well, when a mummy and a daddy -”

“Shut up.” Hux said with his head in his hands. Ben patted him on the back and went to put the bottle back on the shelf.

“What’s wrong Daddy?” Alice asked when Rey brought the kids through for their lunch.

“Oh nothing really. Daddy’s just had a shock. A very big shock.” He folded his arms and rested his head on the table.

Rey turned to Ben for some clarification. He mouthed the word baby at her and tried not to look smug. He didn’t want to lord it over his friends but he’d had a feeling this would happen after their very public displays of affection at the Ball.

Gwen took a while but she eventually came downstairs. She had taken some time to normalise her appearance but it was still obvious that she’d been crying. Bertie and Alice could tell something was wrong with their parents but kept quiet and ate the sandwiches Ben had made them.

“We should be going now.” Ben said. He had been keeping an eye on the time. “Are you sure you guys will be alright?”

“We’ll be fine. Sorry for dragging you here on your day off.” Gwen said giving them a watery smile. “Enjoy your show.”

“So I’ve known two people to get pregnant this year and neither of them have been happy about it. I thought people were meant to be happy about it, especially married people.” Rey said once they were on their way back to the station.

“Hux and Gwen are just in shock at the moment, they’ll come around to the idea.” Ben said.

“I still hate the idea of it.”

“I know that which is why you eventually got an implant.” He hoped that some day down the road she would change her mind, their lives could get very lonely just the two of them, though he understood the importance of Rey’s career to her and the need for her to feel settled in her new life. “But like it or not, you’re going to be around a couple of babies very soon.”

***

“How are things?” Ben asked Hux on Monday. It was the first time they had seen each other since the previous Thursday as Hux was using his holiday to only work three days a week to help with the children. He had been quiet on social media too.

“Still trying to get our heads round it.” Hux said. He looked tired.

“Well the way you found out this time was better than when you found out about Alfie.” It was quite a funny story thinking back on it. Hux raised a small smile.

Gwen had stormed into the meeting they were having, having already scared off Gregor the security guard, dumped two year old Alice on the conference table and dragged Hux off.

“No one’s feelings got hurt this time at least.” Hux said. “Apart from the poor girl in the shoe shop but that was a high stress environment and the poor girl had been putting up with similar behaviour all week.”

“So last one then? For real this time.” Ben asked. They said they were done having kids after Alice, then after Alfie.

“Yeah. Gwen’s making me get, you know,” he made a snipping gesture with his fingers and Ben couldn’t help but flinch and want to protect himself. “If I don’t, she’ll do it herself.”

A mass transport system underground was a good idea in theory as it took traffic away from the congested surface streets of the city, but it was too damn how down there in the summer. The heat generated by the trains and the people just had nowhere to go.

Ben hated this time of year. He had to wear a suit to work and even though he’d taken his jacket off, he’d already sweated through his shirt and their train hadn’t arrived yet. Rey was faring a little better, wearing a sleeveless dress.

There were some giant fans positioned throughout the station but they were mainly just in the way and blowing hot air around.

“That guy’s just in his pants.” Rey whispered. They were standing close but not that close. The idea of touching anyone else right now was disgusting.

“I’m surprised they haven’t stopped him for public indecency.”

“You’ve got to admire his confidence though.” She was still surreptitiously looking at the man waiting for the train in his underwear. He was youngish, slim.

“I hope you’re not admiring him too much.” Ben warned.

Rey giggled. “Would I ever.”

A blast of warm air blew out of the tunnel mouth they were standing next to, blowing grit into their eyes, signifying the next train was approaching.

They got on and positioned themselves as best they could so they weren’t touching anyone else. Ben was a bit self conscious reaching for the overhead rail, at least everyone else was a sweaty mess and not just him.

Rey took a drink of her water after they set off then she handed it to him. It was kind of warm but it was good enough.

He had to keep switching the hand that was holding the rail to wipe the other one off, his hands were getting that sweaty. He really hoped the carriages did get cleaned every night.

“Urgh, I’m really not looking forward to going back to my place.” Rey moaned. “It’s going to feel like a literal sauna in there.”

“Then don’t.” Ben said. He didn’t want her to be uncomfortable.

“But it’s Monday remember, the sleep schedule?”

To Hell with the sleep schedule, he thought. His bedroom hadn’t been in full sun all day. It was still warm but it was possible to fall asleep.

“It’s okay. I’ll get some ice cream on my way home and I’ll be sleeping over tomorrow and the whole bank holiday weekend.” she said to reassure him.

Ben still wasn’t happy but he gave her a small kiss as he got off the train at his stop. It was a sweet moment that got him through having to pack into a lift to get out of the station.

He got an ice cream himself and ate it on his way home otherwise it would have melted.

The first thing Ben did when he got home was peel off his sweaty work clothes and have a quick shower to wash off all the dirt and the grime of the day. He would be having another shower before he went to bed as he had found that helped with getting to sleep in the hot weather.

Over the last four months the amount of Rey’s stuff had been piling up. He’d had to buy another chest of drawers so all her clothes could be put away, some of her stuff had made it onto his shelves and her food was in his kitchen cupboards. There was evidence of her but Rey wasn’t there herself and Ben hated it.

He didn’t want to spend half the week with her, he wanted the whole week with her, to wake up next to her each and every morning.

Ben thought back on one of the many conversations he’d had with Chewie while he was staying at his cabin.

“Life is too short for regrets Ben.” Chewie had said. “I’m not saying you should do something reckless or dangerous but if it’s something that’s going to make you happy, you should do it.”

***

Ben had always had a spare key for his apartment. He probably should have given it to someone in case of emergencies but he had never got around to it and the key had just been sitting in the drawer of his desk collecting dust.

He intended on asking Rey to move in with him while she was staying over the bank holiday weekend. It felt right to ask her. It would make him happy and he was sure it would make her happy too.

There was just one thing he was unsure about, his apartment. It was just that, his. It was his space no matter how much of Rey’s stuff was in it. She was obviously never going to be unwelcome there, but if they were going to be living together, Ben wanted the space to be theirs.

He had already had a quick look at property listings online. There was a lot of development near where Rey lived, plenty of three and four bedroom apartments up for sale. But what Ben really had his eye on was a house, a proper detached house in the suburbs with a gravel driveway and large garden.

It would make their commute longer and they’d have to take a main line commuter train rather than the tube but it was his dream to live in a proper house, to have a family home. Even if they didn’t have a family, they could get a dog at least.

He just had to wait for the right time to ask her.

August bank holiday weekend turned out to be the hottest couple of days of the year so far. It was too hot to go outside for very long, too hot to get dressed properly even. The only way Ben and Rey had found they could have sex was if they had a shower first to freshen up, then have one after to clean up and cool off.

But really the only thing they could do was lounge about. It was a bit of a waste considering this was their last days off before Christmas.

They were just sitting around talking. Rey was being all reflective since it was exactly one year since she’d moved to Coruscant. They talked about the best and worst things of the year gone by, then things inevitably turned to the future.

“The future’s scary though.” said Rey. “When I was younger I had everything planned out so I could get the hell out of Jakku, but now that I’m here, I’m not sure how I want things to go.”

Ben hummed thoughtfully, this was the perfect opportunity to ask her. “I think I know one thing.” he said, getting up and going into his office.

He had wrapped his spare key up in a small box to give to her. It was more of a gesture really because he hoped she would agree to move somewhere new, then they would get new keys, and matching keyrings and …

Ben went back into the living area holding the box behind his back and launched into the speech he had prepared.

“Rey, I may not have known you for very long in the grand scheme of things, but I don’t feel that matters so much when you’re in love.

After recent events, I have some to realise that you shouldn’t just let life pass you by waiting for something to happen to you, you’ve got to make it happen or it could be too late and all you’re left with are regrets”

Ben knelt down in front of Rey and did his level best to school his expressions as he watched her react to what he had made this look like. For an extra touch be brought the small box out from behind his back.

“Rey Bennett, will you move in with me?”

A strange look washed over Rey’s face. Then she grabbed a cushion and wracked him with it. “Why would you ask me like that? I thought you were proposing.”

Despite shouting and knocking him to the floor, she didn’t sound angry and Ben felt safe enough to laugh at his own joke.

“Are you disappointed I’m not?” he asked.

“Not really. It would be nice, but when you do, please make sure that I’m not a big sweaty mess.” That they were. Rey was only wearing a vest over her underwear and he was only wearing a pair of shorts.

He did like that she had said when he proposes, not if or anything else nor had she tried to backpedal what she had just said.

“I can do that.” Ben said with a smile. “So do you want to move in with me? We could stay here or find somewhere new that will be all ours.”

“Let’s find somewhere new.” Rey said. “But you’ll have to take the lead, I have no idea what I’m doing.”

“Will do.” he said and wondered how much of a hard sell the suburbs would be.

Rey called him an idiot as he slipped the key ring onto her left ring finger, it felt like the right thing to do. He would happily be her idiot.

She leaned over and kissed him deeply. Ben couldn’t believe how great his life was now, how great it would be from now on and all because he had Rey. To think he might never have met her if she hadn’t broken the golden rule of tube travel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just one last chapter with this Ben and Rey next week. Thanks for sticking with me.


	12. Epilogue

*** Ben’s 40th Birthday ***

It wasn’t a bad birthday all things considered. They were supposed to go out with their friends but Rey wasn’t feeling well so they’d cancelled. Instead they stayed in, bought some steaks, a infamous caterpillar cake and spent the evening together, just the four of them.

In the lead up to her thirtieth birthday, Rey had approached Ben, asking him what he thought about adoption. She had begun to feel a longing deep inside her at watching all their friends’ kids grow up and she was finding their house was too big for just the two of them.

Ben was more than happy to look into adoption as he had wanted a child of his own for so long and he was glad that she now wanted the same. He approved of her wanting to adopt as she wanted to give a child something she’d never had.

They were initially going to just adopt one child but the lovely girl girl they’d met had a little brother and the agency wanted them to be placed together, so they had ended up with two children, Lizzie and Billy.

Lizzie was seven. She was a bright and chatty girl with dark blonde hair and brown eyes. She loved to dance and make friends and was the most protective big sister. They would hardly ever fight which was the thing Ben found strangest after years of watching the Hux kids grow up.

Billy was nearly three when they met him but he barely said a word. He would constantly suck his thumb, didn’t let go of his blankie, and would always look to his sister for guidance on what he should do.

The child psychologist they took him to said this was probably caused by the trauma of his parents' deaths. That was another reason why Rey was drawn to the siblings; they had lost their parents in the same way she had.

He was now five and after all the therapy and special classes, he was now a different boy. He was still shy around strangers, but he was more articulate and more confident to do things independently without going to Lizzie first. Blankie was still a main feature of his life but he was getting much better at going out without it, though Rey liked to keep it in her bag in case of emergencies. Things were looking so good that it looked likely that Billy would be able to join mainstream education next September.

His road to fatherhood wasn’t quite how Ben had imagined it would be but he wouldn’t change anything about it. Things were hard in those first few months when they were trying to get everything settled with the children but the morning he was supposed to be going back to work after his adoption leave, Billy had grabbed hold of his leg and said ‘don’t go Daddy’, his heart melted and it made everything worthwhile.

Rey had helped the children make him birthday cards. Lizzie drew them all standing in the garden, Billy had just learnt about shapes so that’s what his card consisted of. Once Ben would have put these and many others like it in his ‘stuff that the children have made me but isn’t very good but I can’t bring myself to throw away’ box, but now the walls of his home office were covered in everything they had ever made for him. He was one proud papa.

They gave him presents of a couple of books, a Blu-ray and a tie which was now a tradition for him to get on his birthday. Technically they were from Rey too since she’d bought them but since they’d become parents, they’d decided they wouldn’t do birthday presents for each other.

The rest of the evening proceeded as it usually did; bath time, story time, bed for the children. They all cuddled up on Lizzie’s twin bed, she insisted on reading, she was getting so good at it.

This was Ben’s favourite part of the day, being all together. It was nice and relaxing and always made him feel better after a long day at work.

With the children tucked up in bed and well on their way to falling asleep, Ben and Rey retired for the night as well. It was still relatively early but Rey had been really tired lately and Ben would rather sit in bed and read next to her than sit downstairs on his own.

Ben changed into his pyjamas while Rey was in the bathroom. The wearing of pyjamas and being in bed by nine probably signified that he was old, the grey hairs he kept finding definitely did, but he couldn’t seem to care. He had a good life and a great family. He was happier now than he ever had been.

Rey came out of their en suite already in her fleecy pyjamas. Ben knew that Rey liked big comfy pyjamas, but it was like she had bought them two sizes too big on purpose.

“Sorry we couldn’t go out for your birthday.” she said as she sat down on the bed.

“It’s okay, it’s not your fault you don’t feel well besides, I got to spend it with my three favourite people.” They smiled at each other. Rey was a little pale but seemed happy enough.

“I got you a present that might make it up to you.” she said and took a small long box out of her bedside table drawer.

“You didn’t have to do that.” he said. The box looked like it might contain a pen. He did like collecting nice pens.

“I kind of had to.” Rey said.

Ben opened the box and what he saw made him go cold with shock. It wasn’t a pen but a thin plastic applicator with a screen that displayed two thin blue lines.

“Rey?” Ben said as he tried to find his voice.

“Hum,”

“Are you… are we… how… aren’t you on?” he couldn’t get any of his questions out, but Rey knew what he meant. She was surprisingly calm.

“Yes, I think something must have happened over the summer when I changed birth control.”

“So we’re having a baby?” Ben felt a bit light headed. He couldn’t believe this was happening. “Are you happy?”

“I am. I’ve had a few days to think it over and I know ten years ago I would have thought that this was the worst thing that could ever happen to me, but now.” Rey shrugged. “It feels right you know.”

Ben laughed, he was threatening to cry happy tears. “At least we don’t have to move.”

That got a laugh out of Rey. She had always found it ridiculous that they had bought a six bedroom house in the leafy suburbs of Coruscant before they got married. But Ben had been forward planning and had always hoped she would change her mind about children. With the arrival of Lizzie and Billy, and now the new baby, he was proved right.

“I’m just a bit worried about the children.” Rey said coming in for a hug. “I don’t want them to react badly.”

“No.” he said thoughtfully. “We’ll do some research for the best way to tell them. But Lizzie is the best big sister to Billy, I’m sure she will be to baby as well.”

Rey squeezed him tighter. “I wish Leia was here.”

“Yeah,” Ben said sadly. “She would have loved another grandbaby.”

Leia had passed eighteen months ago. She had fallen ill on the plane back to Alderaan after spending a month visiting them. Ben had taken it hard, their relationship had finally been in a really good place and she had finally got the grandchild she always wanted.

Lizzie and Billy had only been living with them for just over six months when it happened, but they loved Grandma Leia and she loved them dearly.

Ben took comfort in knowing that they had made her last few days happy ones and that she, and his dad, were looking down on them from wherever they may be.  
“Do you want to name the baby after her if it’s a girl?” Rey asked, breaking through his thoughts.

“Perhaps a middle name.” he answered. He had never put any thought into naming babies but he thought she deserved her own name so she didn’t have as much to live up to.

“I’ve got an appointment on Friday.” she said. “We need to figure out when the due date is because I have no idea considering this wasn’t planned, but we might get to hear the heartbeat. Do you want to come with me?”

“I’ll probably be an emotional wreck.” Ben said trying to bring back some humour to the happy occasion.

“I’m sure they’ve seen plenty of dads cry.”

He moved her head and kissed her gently. “I think this is probably the best birthday present I’ve ever had.”

***

“Are you sure you should be lifting that?” Ben asked.

“It’s a baking tray of spring rolls, I think I can handle it.” Rey sassily answered back.

“But don’t you think -”

“If you’re going to be like this for the next six months Ben Solo, we’re going to have problems.” She dropped the tray loudly on the counter top.

It was just before Christmas and the Solos were having their annual ugly jumper party. It had started nine years ago when they had literally just moved into the house. It had been Rey’s idea. She’d said that if they were going to have a large house they were going to have parties.

Tonight was the night they were going to tell all their friends Rey was pregnant. Her snowman jumper did a good job of covering her tiny bump. Ben was fretting as he had been doing research into lifting while pregnant, actually he’d done a lot of research most of which Rey didn’t find very helpful. She found it ridiculous, if her doctor told her she needed to go on bed rest she would do, but taking a few baking trays of party food out of the oven really wasn’t very strenuous.

“Think about it Ben, would you rather me be doing this or trying to keep Billy out of the jelly?”

Jelly was Billy’s favourite food at the moment and he really had to be manhandled away from it. Rey was right Ben thought, she was better off doing the cooking.

He looked around him looking for his son. Where was he? Ben was sure the boy had followed him into the kitchen but he wasn’t there now.

Then he heard a squelchy noise coming from the dining room. “Hehehe jelly.” came a quiet voice.

“Oh no.” Ben thought and rushed into the other room to try and save the dessert. Why had they taken it out the fridge already?

Lizzie giggled. She had been standing at the kitchen table making all their plates of party food look pretty.

Rey smiled. “That got rid of him. You’re doing a really good job with that sweetie.” She stroked her daughter’s hair that had a nice loose wave to it thanks to being in braids all night.

“Thanks Mum.” Lizzie said and hugged Rey around the waist.

Lizzie hadn’t initially taken the news of the new baby well. Billy was fine though he probably didn’t really understand but the night they had told them, Ben and Rey had found Lizzie curled up under her bed crying.

“You don’t want us anymore. You’re going to send us back.” It had broken their hearts to hear her talk like that, but Rey knew what she was talking about. In all her years in care she had seen numerous kids come back to the carehome because their parents were now having a baby of their own.

“No Lizzie, that’s not going to happen to you.” Rey said having to lay down on the floor to talk to her. “You are our children and we love you. We will never send you away.”

It had taken a while and the promise to stay up late and a tub of ice cream to get Lizzie out from under the bed, but for the next week she was jumpy every time they went out.

It wasn’t until Rey arranged with the social worker for Lizzie to meet with another family who’d had a baby after adopting, that she began to feel better.

By the time the jelly was rescued and back in the fridge and Billy was cleaned up, their guests started arriving. Rey and Ben had kept the same group of friends over the past decade. It didn’t bother them that they hadn’t really met any one new.

Of course there was Hux and Gwen and their four children. Alice and Bertie were teenagers now and were both taller than Rey and still growing. Unfortunately they were at that age where they were more interested in their phones than visiting their parents’ friends, at least adolescence wouldn’t take over Alfie and Alexa for a couple of years.

Finn and Rose had gotten married and had two little boys, Dylan and Zack, who were the same ages as Lizzie and Billy. Rose had told Rey she was pregnant with the eldest on the morning Rey’s wedding when she was supposed to be her maid of honor. Rose had been so worried that her morning sickness would ruin the ceremony, she inevitably made it worse. Luckily she was fine in the end and everything went perfectly.

And then there was Jess, her daughter Ava and her new boyfriend Matt. It had taken Jess a few years to find the confidence to date again, but Matt was good for her. He was supportive and good with Ava.

Each family brought several plates of food with them so there was a full and tasty buffet on offer.

Rey liked hosting the Christmas party, it gave her an excuse to go all out on the decorations. There were wreaths, garlands and fairylights everywhere downstairs. There was one big tree in the entrance hall by the stairs and another in the living room with presents under it ready to be exchanged.

It was their tradition once everyone arrived for them to fill their plates with party food and sit around chatting for a bit. Then they would all exchange presents and each of the children would be allowed to open one.

It wasn’t a particularly late or boozy party as there had always been small children who needed to get home for bedtime and that wasn’t going to change as Ben and Rey would have a new addition next year.

“Are you ready?” Ben asked Rey when they snuck into the kitchen for a moment of quiet and to get Billy some jelly for his pudding.

“As I’ll ever be I guess.” she sighed. Since neither of them had any family left, the people in the other room were the only ones they really had to tell.

Ben and Rey stood in front of the Christmas tree in the living room, his red jumper was made to look like Santa Claus.

“Now, before we hand out the presents, we have a little announcement to make.” Ben said and he took Rey’s hand, giving it a little squeeze.

“I’m pregnant.” Rey said with a big smile on her face.

“I knew it!” Rose, Jess and Gwen all cried.

“What, how?” Rey asked. It wasn’t quite the reaction they were expecting.

“I could just sense something, you know, we’ve all been there.” Jess said.

“Multiple times.” Rose added.

“Multiple times.” Gwen also added this time with a touch of horror.

“Going by my wife’s reaction and the observations you have made of my family over the years, why would you want more than two children?” Hux said.

“Hey!” Alfie and Alexa cried immediately, while Alice and Bertie looked up from their phones long enough to gloat.

“Love you really.” he quickly backpedaled.

“I don’t know, being a father of four looks quite fun.” Ben said.

“Four? How can you possibly be planning another one when this one isn’t even born yet?” Hux asked and the room fell into confused silence.

Lizzie giggled. She had kept the secret so well and now it was her time to reveal it. “Mum’s having twins.”

***

The twins were born in the middle of May at 35 weeks. They weighed just under five pounds each which wasn’t too bad but they had to stay in the hospital for a couple of weeks.

Ben found those couple of weeks challenging as he was juggling worrying about the twins and wanting to be at the hospital with them and being at home caring for Lizzie and Billy.

Rey had been discharged a couple of days after the birth and was taking it easy to aid her recovery. She was putting on a brave face but she missed her babies and she wanted to bring them home.

On the night before the twins were due home, they treated themselves to takeaway pizza and cookies and had a family movie night. Ben found it bittersweet as it was the last time they would be together as a family of four but he was so excited for it to be the six of them.

“Are you excited to meet your brother and sister tomorrow?” Rey asked Lizzie as she tucked her into bed. They hadn’t been able to take the children to meet the twins so they would be meeting for the first time tomorrow.

“Yes but will they like me?” the little girl asked.

“They’re going to love you. You are the best big sister anyone could wish for.”

Lizzie had gotten a new picture frame for her birthday that was covered in blue butterflies. It was sitting empty on her bedside table waiting for a picture of all the family to fill it.

Ben and Rey bought the twins home in matching white and grey outfits, they looked so cute together. Ben was glad that they were able to leave the hospital together. His mother and uncle had been separated at birth, he was glad that he was able to correct this mistake and raise his twins together.

If he felt nervous when he drove with Lizzie and Billy in the car for the first time it was nothing compared to how he felt with two newborns in the back. They’d had to get a bigger car to fit all the car seats.

“Welcome home.” Rey said to the babies when they arrived. Both had slept soundly through the journey.

Gwen had picked the children up from school and was sitting with them waiting for their parents to return. She had been popping around frequently to help them out until they got someone more permanent.

“Oh aren’t they precious.” she exclaimed quietly when she met them at the door. “And so tiny.”

“Well everything is tiny compared to your babies.” Ben said.

“What can I say? I made big babies.” Gwen said with a shrug. Four nine pound babies, it was enough to make anyone wince.

She looked longingly over her new Godchildren, but she knew she had to tear herself away for now. “I’ll go make you some tea and leave you to family time.”

Lizzie and Billy were sitting on the sofa watching cartoons when they went into the living room each holding a bundle of joy.

“Guess who’s come to meet you?” Ben said and Lizzie gasped with joy and excitement.

“Ok Lizzie, who do you want to hold first?” Rey asked. She was big enough to hold a baby on her own with the help of some cushions. They had been practicing with dolls.

“Jaina. I’ve not had a sister before.”

Jaina Charlotte Leia was the oldest by three minutes. She was named after her grandmother of course and Charlotte was there to placate Alice who, when they did the gender reveal, was adamant they call the twins Charlotte and Charles.

“Two Charlie Solos!” she’d exclaimed. Ben and Rey were just impressed that she’d remembered a conversation they’d had ten years ago when she was four.

Obviously her suggestion was a bit ridiculous but they like it as a middle name.

“Aww she’s so cute.” Lizzie said. “Look at her little nose and her tiny fingers.”

Billy looked over at his sisters curiously. He’d never really understood what was going on even though they’d explained to him why Mummy was getting fat.

Ben sat down next to Billy holding Jacen. “Do you want to meet your little brother?”

Their son was called Jacen Alister Han. They had followed the same naming convention as before. Alister was another of Alice’s ideas from when she was suggesting names that were similar to her own.

Billy reached out for his brother’s hand.

“Gentle now. There we go.” Ben said and he looked down at his sons holding hands.

Billy looked at Rey who was still standing, looking proudly at the scene before her. “Does he like jelly?” he asked.

“No, he only has special milk at the moment but in the future he might. You’ll have to share it with him.” Rey said.

“Make more.” That was his suggestion whenever they had jelly but it was sweet all the same.

Gwen popped her head around the door from the kitchen and her heart melted. “Aww, you’re so cute. Anyway, tea’s ready, do you want anything else?”

“Can you take a picture of us Auntie Gwen?” Lizzie asked, she really wanted to have a picture in her frame.

There was a bit of shuffling to get them all on the sofa and in frame, but the babies didn’t make a peep.

“When will they wake up?” Billy asked.

“Probably just as you want to go to sleep yourself.” Gwen said. Ben nor Rey were going to argue with that. “Okay then, say cheese.”

That was the first of many pictures of their completed family Rey had in the hallway of her forever home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all folks!
> 
> Thanks for sticking with this. I'll be back on June 1st with a new story if you're interested.


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